


I'm Your Pocket Monster: You gave me your heart and I gave you all of mine

by superdeanlover



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2018-10-13 19:23:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 42,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10520226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superdeanlover/pseuds/superdeanlover
Summary: Jin is a graduate student working to finish his thesis. He's hit a writing block and his roommate suggests that he goes out on a walk. In the middle of his crisis he comes across a comic book shop and finds a little figurine Pocket Monster.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [impalafortrenchcoats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/impalafortrenchcoats/gifts).



“Everything sucks!” Jin pushed off from his desk letting his chair spin. He’d been working on his thesis for 3 hours and was still on page 5 of 86. He needed to edit down and add in a section on economic development, but his brain was fried. 

Why, did he think he could finish a full Master’s thesis over the summer, it was completely illogical? “Working,” Yoongi his roommate groaned not bothering to look up from his laptop. 

Jin shot him an evil look. Yoongi was finishing his Master’s thesis as well but in Contemporary French Music the jerk. Now Yoongi’s dissertation wasn’t easy, but on days were Jin couldn’t get past a single page he secretly felt like his work was harder. Jin rolled his chair to look over Yoongi’s shoulder. 

“Go away,” Yoongi said not even bothering to take off his headphones. Jin rolled his chair back to his desk and sulked. It was hard everything sucked, and his brain hurt. But Jin couldn’t leave his desk. He needed to keep working. 

“Maybe if you go on a walk once you get back you’ll be more focused,” Jin turned around to look at Yoongi. “I can’t,” he said. “I have to finish Chapter 2 by today.” 

“I’ll help you take a look everything once you’re done. Just go for a walk and once you’re back you’ll be productive,” Yoongi waited until he heard the front door click to relax. Jin was driving him a little crazy, but you didn’t live with a roommate for so long without building a bond. He was lucky Yoongi liked him. 

Yoongi was finally hitting a good work groove when his phone went off. Damn it! He flipped his phone over determined to curse whoever was bothering him, until the name on the display read, ”Your Hope” 

**  
15 minutes later, Yoongi was throwing things into a duffle bag. His boyfriend, Hoseok, had sprained an ankle practicing with his dance company. Although, he had called to inform him of the injury and that he was ok, Yoongi insisted on going to stay with him. He was almost out the door when he thought to leave Jin a note.

Hey,  
I’ll be gone this weekend. Hoseok hurt his ankle.  
See you Wednesday,  
M.Y. 

Yoongi picked up his things and headed out the door. 

He was getting into his car when the post-it with the note he’d placed on Jin’s desk fluttered off from the desk and slid under the bookcase that was next to the desk. 

**  
Jin felt better. It was nice to go outside where the humans lived. 

It was really strange to see people go about their lives when Jin felt like his had been on repeat for the last five years. Yes, he liked his work and enjoyed all the research but it was constant writing, deadlines, grants, conferences, and reading that was slowly eating at him. 

Jin couldn’t remember the last time he’d read something for fun or had a conversation that was nonacademic. It wasn’t that he regretted his choice to continue his education, he was just a little burnt out. He just wanted to be done and start living his life. 

Jin wanted the after. 

Even if in reality, it would be filled with unemployment and a shrinking job pool. But that was life and academics he supposed. However there was absolutely no point in thinking about a problem he didn’t have yet, Jin still had a thesis to write. 

The day was sunny and beautiful, how could he be in such a gray mood? You’re probably lonely, Jin thought. 

He hadn’t dated since the second year of his bachelors. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to date he had tried, but other graduate students were just as stressed as he was. Stress plus stress wasn’t a good combination nor was it conductive to a good relationship. On the flipside, someone that wasn’t IN IT didn’t really understand the pressure. Jin sighed and looked down at his bag of snacks. 

He was losing his mind. He had bought dried squid, beef jerky, and we tissues. Why had he bought jerky he didn’t even like it? Jin ran a hand through his hair and a toy on display at a comic book shop caught his eye. 

The figuring was about the size of his palm in a neat black box with white lettering. Jin walked towards the window for a closer look, “Pocket Monster” it read. The figurine was dressed all in black but had bright pastel pink hair. Jin smiled at the choice of hair color. It was quite strange with the all black outfit and couldn’t imagine what manga or anime this character would be from? Jin got closer to the shop window to get a better look at him and the figuring winked at Jin and smiled. 

Jin stepped back startled. What the actual fuck? The figuring just smiled back at him tilting its head to mimic Jin’s movement. Cute dimples flashed as it smiled and blinked slowly just staring at Jin. 

Jin stepped forward to get a better look and put a hand against the glass. The figurine also lifted a hand to the inside of the clear box. Jin watched as the little box started to fog up. 

Next thing Jin knew he was walking out of the comic book store with a bag. He ran over to the closest bench and took the box out. The little guy inside of it was sitting on the bottom of the box and he was sweating. Jin opened the top a bit to let some air in. He looked through the clear window and the little guy inside seemed a bit happier fanning himself to get more air. “Its ok buddy, I’ll get you home as soon as I can,” Jin said looking through the clear panel and the little guy nodded. 

The figuring started to stand up, “No, no sit down,” Jin said holding the box to his face. The figurine tilted its head and then sat down. “Good, ok let’s go home.” 

**  
Jin dropped his stuff at the entrance of his apartment and made a beeline for his desk. He peeked inside of the box and the little guy was still sitting and just looking around with big eyes. Jin opened the flaps on the side of the box and the sides fell open. 

Jin wiped his palms against his jeans and sat down to look at the figurine closely. He wasn’t dreaming. It was alive but how could it be? Who would be so irresponsible and put a living thing in such a small box? 

The little guy was looking at him and smiling. Jin pushed that out of his mind, he would send a strong worded email to someone after, and smiled back. The little guy was awful cute. 

“Hi, I am Jin,” he said finally introducing himself. “What’s your name?” 

The little guy smiled brightly and his eyes got all squinty. “I am Jin,” he said. “I am Jin. Jin!” The voice was smooth and musical. He little guy looked so happy Jin just laughed.

“What’s your name?” Jin asked again.

“I am Jin!” He responded again and stood up to walk towards Jin’s hand. “I am Jin,” he said as he climbed onto Jin’s open palm. 

“NO,” Jin said laughing softly. “I am Jin,” he said pointing to himself. “What’s your name?”

Jin shifted to catch the little guy as it moved quickly to scramble out of his hands. He set him down and watched as it tried to lift the side of the panel. Jin helped hold one of the sides up and looked at the diagram. 

There were seven characters total. Six were mystery characters but he spotted the dark outfit and pink hair. Rap Monster the label read. 

“Rap Monster,” Jin said softly. The little guy beamed at Jin. 

“Is that your name?” Jin asked. “Rap Monster?”


	2. Chapter 2

“Rap Monster?” Jin watched as the little guy jumped up and down. 

“I am Jin. I am Jin,” the little voice said over and over again. 

Jin sat at his desk and just watched as Rap Monster wondered around his desk exploring. When Rap Monster started to climb up a stack of Post It’s Jin picked him up by the back of the shirt and put him down near his box again. Rap Monster just smiled flashing his dimples at Jin before he could even get mad. 

“You are a trouble maker,” Jin said to Rap Monster even as he flashed him his dimples again. “Well I am hungry,” Jin said picking up Rap Monster and dropping him in his shirt pocket. “So, let’s make some food.”

Jin looked down at his shirt as he stirred the noodles he was making. Rap Monster seemed to be completely enraptured by the process. Every time, Jin had added something new to the skillet Rap Monster had yelled excited versions of ‘I am Jin.’ But after Rap Monster tried to swan dive after a mushroom, Jin was keeping a closer eye on him. 

Jin turned off the heat and transferred the noodle stir fry to a serving plate. “I think I made too much,” Jin said to Rap Monster as he set the plate down in the kitchen nook where he usually at his meals. “But we can save some for Yoongi so it won’t go to waste. Ok, well let’s go get some water,” but when Jin turned to walk back towards the kitchen he just barley caught Rap Monster as he successfully tumbled out of his shirt this time. 

“Hey, hey,” Jin yelled panicked as he tried to keep Rap Monster still. “Rap Monster enough!” To Jin’s delight, Rap Monster stopped trying to get away and turned to face him. His eyes were big and shinning with unshed tears as he looked towards the plate of food and pointed. 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster said in a sad and tiny voice. 

“What’s wrong? Are you hungry?”

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster said as he nodded. 

“Wait am I allowed to feed you? You’re not like a gremlin that if I feed you something bad will happen, are you?” Rap Monster wasn’t looking at Jin but instead stealing glances towards the plate of food on the counter. 

“We should look at your box again,” Jin said as he secured his hold on Rap Monster careful not to squeeze too hard and walked back towards the living room. 

“Ok,” Jin said as he lifted Rap Monster to eye level. “I am going to set you down really quick. Promise you’ll be good, let me just look at the instructions ok?” 

Rap Monster looked towards the kitchen but then sighed and nodded. Jin set him down next to his Iron Man figurine and looked at the box again.  


Thank you for your purchase from BigHit Toys: 

Your personal Pocket Monster is a unique product unlike anything else. 

Each Pocket Monster is custom designed to the owner’s specifications. No two Pocket Monsters are the same or can ever be the same. In this modern age of technology and change where companionship is hard to find, Pocket Monsters are the solution to any problem. The question is not what CAN your Pocket Monster do but what do you want your own Pocket Monster to do. 

Each Pocket Monster is outfitted with basic formatting and the set learning function selected by You. Your Pocket Monster will move, relate, and respond according to your specifications. 

We at BigHit Toys, hope you enjoy your own personal Pocket Monster. 

Thank you for your purchase. 

Model Name: Runch Randa  
Made in Ilsan, South Korea.  
Language function: Korean and English 

“Oh,” Jin flipped the page over. “You’re not a collectible item. Someone designed you.” 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster said still looking towards the kitchen. 

“I am sorry buddy,” Jin looked at Rap Monster. “I don’t know if I can feed you or not it doesn’t say anything on the paper.” 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster pointed at the box and shuffled his little feet. 

“Wait, what?” Jin picked up Rap Monster and set him down next to his box. “Be careful,” Jin warned as Rap Monster dove into his box lifting the bottom edge inside of the box. 

“Need some help,” Jin asked as Rap Monster struggled. He was so cute. “Let me see,” Jin said as Rap Monster smiled at him and moved out of the way. 

Jin tore the bottom of the box and a card slipped out. 

Pocket Monster Support Community please join us at BangtanSonyeondan@bulletproof.boys.scouts 

“Oh, wait maybe I can go on here and figure this out,” Jin opened his browser. “Ok ask question … where is the box… come on….” 

“I am Jin…… I AM Jin,” Rap Monster chanted getting slightly louder every time. “I AM JIN.” 

“I know, I know Rap Monster give me a minute ok?... come here,” Jin picked up RapMonster and put him on his shoulder. 

Ok here it is. 

Email: PinkJin@gmail.com

Hello Customer Service,  


I recently purchased a Pocket Monster and I seem to be missing a full instruction manual. Can I reorder this? My Pocket Monster model name is Runch Randa. I am basically concerned because he seems to be hungry but I am not sure what, when or if I am supposed to feed him. 

Thank you for your help,  
Jin

“I am Jin,” RapMonster whispered into Jin’s ear. 

“I know RM… I know. Just a minute, if they don’t answer back then we’ll figure it out ok?”

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster said in a sad voice. 

“I know buddy. I am hungry too, but hopefully they answer soon.” 

A few minutes later, Jin heard his phone ring and refreshed his email page. 

Email from babyG@email.bts 

Hello Jin,  


Thank you so much for your inquiry, at BigHit Toys it is our number one priority to ensure all our customers are completely satisfied. 

I see you included a model name for your Pocket Monster, but I cannot provide accurate information without a contract number. Your contract number, as you were informed at the time of purchase, is the only way to track or provide details on your specific design. If you can get your contract number to me, I will issue you a new manual and answer your question regarding the possible feeding of your Pocket Monster. I say possible because some designs do not include a feeding function. 

Best,  
Cristian Chim 

“Not include a feeding function, wow who would do that?” Jin turned to ask RapMonster. 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster replied pointing at the kitchen. 

“I know RM. Just one more minute, promise we’ll figure this out. Ok so nothing else in the box… hmmm maybe the contract number is on you,” Jin picked up RapMonster and put him back on his desk. “Let me see,” Jin said as he tried to lift Rap Monster’s black shirt. 

“I am Jin. I am Jin,” Rap Monster squealed laughing and covering his belly. 

“Come on RM. Let me see,” Jin went the shirt again but RM ran behind his pencil holder. “RM, come out. I thought you were hungry….” Jin waited and sure enough after a few moments Rap Monster peaked his little head. “Come on, let me just take a peak.” 

Rap Monster walked out and a bright pink blush stained his cheeks. “I am embarrassed too,” Jin said softly. “But the faster we figure this out the faster we can eat…. Now lift your little hands.”

Rap Monster lifted his hands and Jin took his top off. “Hmmm well nothing on your chest, turn around let me see your back.” Rap Monster lifted his little hands and covered his chest as he turned around. He was really the cutest thing Jin had ever seen. “Nope nothing on you, maybe….” 

“I am Jin. I am Jin,” RapMonster chanted as he shook his head and ran to hide behind the pencil holder again. “Ok you’re right, I am sure it’s not on you. Ok here you go,” Jin handed the shirt to Rap Monster and pretended to cover his eyes with his hand. “Hurry so I can email this guy back.”

Jin watched as Rap Monster struggled to put his shirt back on. He was so cute and the pink color on his cheeks was so bright it matched his hair. 

“Ready?” Jin asked. 

“I am Jin. I am Jin,” Rap Monster answered. 

“Ok so let’s write back,” 

Hello Mr. Chim Chim,  
Thank you so much for your quick reply, I really appreciate all the help. I don’t have the contract number. I purchased my Pocket Monster from a comic book store. Is there any way to recover the contract number? 

Best,  
Jin 

Jin leaned back on his chair and watched as Rap Monster sat down next to his paperclip dispenser. Rap Monster’s cheeks were still bright pink but was staring off into space. Jin refreshed the page and he had an email from babyG@email.bts 

Hello Jin,  
This is quite unusual. Pocket Monsters as you might now know are custom designs and while the transfer of a contract can be done it is extremely rare. 

What is even more rare is your situation. Pocket Monsters cannot be sold publicly and so you should not have been able to purchase a Pocket Monster unless it was from a certified vendor. 

Unfortunately, without a contract number there is nothing that I can physically solve your problem. 

The other alternative is to call our support staff at (1)06132013. They might be able to help you, but I do suggest that you try to track the original owner down or the contract number. Without this number, the true nature of your Pocket Monster will always be a mystery. 

It sounds like you want to keep your Pocket Monster, but I have taken the liberty to also include our return policy. 

Best,  
Cristian Chim Chim 

BigHit Toys Return Policy. 

If the item is defective, it can be returned at any time for a replacement item. **Please keep in mind that while a replacement Pocket Monster will be issued the exchange for the same title is impossible. Every Pocket Monster is uniquely designed and no two models are ever created. 

“The exchange for the same title is impossible…. Every Pocket Monster is unique… no two models are ever created,” Jin read off. “What the hell?” How could it be possible that only one toy of each is created? “So, you’re really special,” Jin looked at Rap Monster. 

“I am Jin,” he nodded. 

“Come on, let’s call and get some answers,” Jin picked up Rap Monster and put him in his shirt pocket as he dialed and walked back into the kitchen. 

Transcript of conversation: 

V: Hello. Thank you for calling BigHit Toys may I have your full name? 

Jin: Yes, its Kim Seokjin 

V: Thank you Mr. Kim 

Jin: Jin is fine 

V: Alright Jin. Thank you again for your purchase of your very own Pocket Monster. At BigHit Toys it is our number one priority to provide excellent customer service. If I can have your contract number, I will be happy to assist you with any issues you might have. 

Jin: Yes, I am sorry that’s kind of why I am calling. I actually don’t have a contract number. 

V: Hello, Jin. I am sorry to hear this, but as you were informed at the time of your purchase without your contract number we cannot pull up the specs on your design. 

Jin: Yes, I contacted your online support system and they told me this, but I bought my Pocket Monster at a comic book shop. 

V: Pocket Monsters are only available for purchase at official retailers. You shouldn’t have been able to purchase a Pocket Monster at a comic book shop. 

Jin: Yes, I was told that as well, but I did purchase him today. Is there anything I can do or another way that I can retrieve the contract number?

V: I apologize Jin but we have a strict confidentiality agreement on each design. 

Jin: I am not sure what that means, but I just want to know if I should feed him? I mean it won’t hurt him, will it? 

V: I am sorry sir. It’s impossible for me to answer this question. Some designs have specifically omitted the feeding function to meet the needs of the customer. There is really no way for me to know this information without the contract number. 

Jin: Could the contract number be ok him? I took off his shirt but maybe it’s on his foot or something. 

V: (laughter) No, we wouldn’t put sensitive information on the models themselves. 

Jin: Is there any other way you can look him up? He goes by Rap Monster and his model name is Runch Randa. He has bright pink hair and a completely black outfit. 

V: well he sounds very cute, but I am sorry we cannot look him up that way. The model name is also a custom function. As far as narrowing down the outfit and hair color, my system shows up to 100 designs that could fit that description. 

Jin: But technically, I am the owner correct? 

V: yes, if the Pocket Monster is in your possession then yes you are the owner. 

Jin: Is there any way to authorize a release of information?

V: Unfortunately, there is not. You can return the model and we can issue you a replacement Pocket Monster with a new contract number. 

Jin: But, it won’t be the same one? 

V: Correct. 

Jin: So, there is nothing I can do? 

V: Sir, I can tell you’re upset and I completely understand, but you have to understand that giving out information to customers without the contract number would ruin the integrity of our company. Asking how people designed their Pocket Monster is akin to asking someone about their deepest darkest desires.

Jin: ahh… I am not really sure what that means. I really just want to know if I can feed him or not.

V: I apologize again, but unless you have a contract number what this means is that I cannot confirm anything regarding the Runch Randa model except the date he was designed and that he does indeed exist. 

Jin: Well of course he exists, he’s on my shoulder trying to dive into a plate of stir fry. But could I have the date he was created? 

V: Sure, this model was designed September 12th of last year, but his commission date was later that year. 

Jin: Wait what does that mean? 

V: Well, as you can guess Pocket Monsters are quite expensive. Many of our customers take months to design the perfect model. So, the creation date and the commission date, or date of purchase can vary. Now Jin, is there anything else I can help you with? 

Jin: Well, no that’s all but… 

V: Look off the record if your Pocket Monster shows signs of hunger the best bet is that he was designed to eat. So, feed him. Now thank you so much for calling BigHit Toys, did I answer all of your concerns today?

Jin: Hmm yes thank you. 

V: Have a great day. 

Jin put his cellphone down on the counter and looked at Rap Monster who looked about as confused as he felt. What the hell was up with the customer service? What did people buy Pocket Monsters for? 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster said holding his hands together and then pointing excitedly at the plate of food. 

“Yes, but wait,” Jin caught the back of Rap Monster’s shirt before he cannon balled into the food. Jin flipped over a tea cup and sat Rap Monster on top. “Here you go,” Jin said as he placed a noodle into Rap Monster’s greedy hands. 

Jin watched as Rap Monster started to demolish the noodle. “Easy.. easy chew your food or your tummy is going to hurt,” Jin said as he started to pick up the stir fry and eat as well. 

“I cannot believe you ate that much,” Jin said as he assisted a sauce covered Rap Monster down from his tea cup. Jin burst out laughing as Rap Monster laid down on his back on the counter and rubbed his belly that was now swollen with food. 

“Oh my god, who are you?” Jin kept on laughing. 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster said not bothering to open his eyes. 

“You’re a greedy gobbler that’s what you are.” 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster said eyes still closed as he licked some sauce from his lips. 

“You are ridiculous,” Jin said still laughing as he picked up the plate. “No, no you sit still. I got it,” Jin said after Rap Monster opened his eyes. 

When Jin turned towards the sink the human level burp that came out of Rap Monster almost made him drop the plate he was holding. True Rap Monster might have been designed for someone else and by someone else, but Jin couldn’t think of a more perfect model for him. 

Later that night, Jin scrubbed a sticky Rap Monster down and got him ready for bed. 

Jin fell asleep to the soft snore of Rap Monster cuddled to his cheek. Well he still didn’t have more of his thesis done, but at least he wasn’t stressed about it anymore. Tomorrow would be another day.


	3. Chapter 3

Jin felt safe and warm. He wrapped his arms around his waist and sighed deeply. 

“Are you tired my love?”

“No,” Jin answered pulling back enough to rub his face against his cheek. “I am happy.” 

“I love you.” 

Jin rolled over to one side and opened his eyes. What a pretty dream he’d had. He hadn’t seen the face of the mystery man he’d been with but he had felt loved. It was sweet really. Jin had stopped dating and looking for love with the grad school monster on his back, but it was nice to have pretty dreams. 

Jin rolled to his back and started to mentally pull a list of things he had to accomplish today. It was Saturday and he NEEDED to get another chapter of this thesis edited. He also needed to finalize the outline for the next chapter and start that along with doing some laundry, and returning books to the library. Someone had recalled his Becoming National and he didn’t want to go into a recall war. Jin sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed and made his way to the bathroom. He was in the middle of trying to figure out what he wanted to breakfast and what to wear, when a sharp smell of something burning caught his attention. 

Jin ran across the apartment and froze at the door of the kitchen. 

There was Rap Monster running along the edge of the stove yelling I am Jin as he tried to wave a corner of a dish towel at the flames. Jin ran towards the stove turned it off, picked up Rap Monster and held him to his chest. “I am Jin. I am Jin,” Rap Monster said as his little chest heaved. Jin opened the collar of his shirt and put Rap Monster inside so he could hold on to his nightshirt, and started cleaning the mess. Once Jin was done, he walked over and opened the window to air out the kitchen and set Rap Monster on the kitchen counter. 

“Ok Rap Monster, now what do you think you were doing? Do you know how dangerous the stove is? You could have burned something down or hurt yourself?”

Rap Monster looked down at his hands. “I am Jin,” he said in a sad voice. 

“No Rap Monster,” Jin said his voice still sharp with anger. “It doesn’t matter what you were trying to do. You can’t just do whatever you want here. The stove is very dangerous. Now come on, I need to clean you up.” Jin put his hand on the counter and waited for Rap Monster to walk over. 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster said as they walked past Jin’s computer. 

“No, we’re not playing right now. You’re in trouble.” Rap Monster put his head down and just went along silently. 

Jin pulled down a small bowl and started to fill it up with warm water. He added a few drops of body oil and a small pump of bath bubbles. “Here,” Jin said as he set it down next to Rap Monster. Jin cut a small corner of his luffa, and a neat square from his towel and set them next to the bowl. “You scrub with this,” Jin said pointing to the luffa, “and once you’re done you dry yourself with this.” 

Jin was almost out the door when he remembered what the customer service rep had said the night before, your Pocket Monster will do what it’s been designed to do. 

“Rap Monster,” Jin saw Rap Monster look up with hopeful eyes but didn’t smile back. “Do you know how to shower?” 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster said and nodded. 

“Ok good, and put your clothes neatly in a pile.” 

Jin walked into the living room, sat in his chair and dropped his head on his desk. Sweet Lord, his heart had almost hopped out of his chest when he saw Rap Monster so close to the fire. What could he have been trying to do? If the little guy was hungry, he should have waited or him to wake up. Jin moved the mouse of his computer and waited for it to boot up. The first page that appeared on the screen was “Best Breakfast Ideas.” 

Jin clicked scrolled through his browser history because Rap Monster running around the stove was starting to make sense. The more pages Jin clicked on the worst he felt. All the recipes that had been saved had pictures of people having breakfast together. Jin got up and walked to the bathroom. He knocked on the doorframe before walking in. 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster responded. 

Jin walked in and saw that Rap Monster was wrapped in his little towel and was sitting on top of his eye cream pot. He was just so cute. 

“Hey,” Jin said crouching down to be at eye level with him. “Were you trying to make me breakfast?”

Rap Monster looked at Jin. His eyes were wide and honest, “I am Jin,” he said in a low tone and nodded. 

“Did you want to cook me breakfast because I made food last night?”

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster said again nodding and folded his hands on his lap. 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

“I am Jin. I am Jin,” Rap Monser nodded.

“Can you cook?” Rap Monster just tilted his head. 

“I mean are you designed to cook,” Jin asked. “You can eat and you know how to shower. Do you know how to cook?”

Rap Monster looked over at his ruined pile of clothes. “I am Jin,” he said as he shook his head. 

“Hey its ok,” Jin said as he ran a finger down the side of his face. “You wanted to do something nice. I get it, and I am sorry I got upset with you. But perhaps from now on, I can do the things you don’t know how to, ok?” 

Rap Monster smiled flashing Jin his cute dimples. Jin opened his hand and waited for Rap Monster to climb in towel and all. “I am Jin,” Rap Monster said pointing towards the living room. “I am Jin,” he said again tugging this time. 

Jin walked him over and set him down on desk. Jin tried to not burst out laughing as Rap Monster tried to keep his towel on while also climbing on the keyboard. “Be careful,” Jin said as Rap Monster pulled his towel up over his hips. 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster said as he pointed to the monitor. 

I want to help you the screen read. 

“Oh, you can talk,” Jin looked down and Rap Monster nodded. 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster pointed at the monitor again. 

“Hey RM,” Jin poked Rap Monster in the belly. “It’s ok. You don’t have to feel like you have to do anything.” 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster pointed at the monitor again. 

“So, you want to help me then, Ok. Let me think of something you can help me with ok?” Rap Monster nodded, “let’s figure some clothing options for you first because we can’t have you running around naked.” 

**  
About two hours later Jin had Rap Monster dressed in a Super Mario Bros. overalls. Poor Luigi was now half naked because Mario’s overalls were too short for Rap Monster. The gray shirt Jin had dug up was from one of Yoongi’s dolls and he’d stolen a pink hat from the desk as well. 

“Well you look super cute,” Jin held up a mirror for Rap Monster to look at himself. “Ok well come on because have to get some writing done today.” 

Jin lasted a whole ten minutes before Rap Monster distracted him. He was just so darn cute walking around his desk. “RM remember how you wanted to help me.” 

“I am Jin,” Rap Monster responded excited. Jin put a hand to his chest when Rap Monster straightened his overalls and stood up straight to receive his assignment. He was so cute. 

“So I am working on my master’s thesis. Do you know what a thesis is?” Rap Monster nodded. “Well, I have all my research done and now I am just writing out my chapters, but I think a second pair of eyes on my readings might be helpful. Do you think you can do that?” 

Jin helped Rap Monster up onto a stack of books and opened the first one. “I have tabs there already but it would be good if you could give me your thoughts.” 

About an hour later, Jin looked on his desk because a small little hand was trying to get his attention. “Yes, RM what’s up?” 

When Rap Monster pointed at the keyboard, Jin opened a page for him. 

I am thirsty. Should we get something to drink? 

“You’re thirsty,” Rap Monster nodded and smiled. Jin took Rap Monster and put him in his shirt pocket. Should we have some tea? Rap Monster looked at Jin and didn’t answer. “Ok so no tea. Let’s have some banana milk then.” 

At lunch time, Rap Monster sat on the spice rack and watched for Jin cook. After lunch, they sat at Jin’s desk and continued to work. For dinner, Rap Monster walked over to the spice rack and watched in awe as Jin cooked some ramen. At every meal, Rap Monster ended up with a cute beer belly because he over ate. Jin had to unbutton Rap Monster’s overalls because of the little ramen belly he’d gotten. During bedtime, Jin stripped a teddy bear he had that was wearing a Ryan nighty and put it on Rap Monster. 

Rap Monster slept cuddled on Jin’s face. 

On Monday when Yoongi walked in carrying Hoseok on his back Jin finally realized he hadn’t seen him all weekend. Jin covered his shirt pocket where Rap Monster was sitting. “Be quite ok,” he whispered. Rap Monster smiled and let out a small giggle before he sat very still. 

“Hey how was your weekend?”

“You didn’t get my note,” Yoongi said as he walked past him to set Hoseok down on the couch. 

“Hmmm well no,” Jin followed carrying Hoseok and Yoongi’s bags. 

“Hoseok hurt his ankle dancing so I went to go stay with him.” 

“I can see that now,” Jin said drily. “Well I am going to get to work let me know if you guys need anything.” Jin picked up his laptop and the flash drive with his backup work. 

Jin’s Monday schedule usually included a trip to the library and then running errands, but instead he and Rap Monster spent all day in bed working. Jin was on such a good work run it was three days later before he emerged from his cave. 

“Damn dude,” Yoongi said from the couch. 

“What,” Jin was wearing his big hoodie with Rap Monster hiding in the hood. 

“Are you ok,” Yoongi asked. 

“Yeah, I was just on a roll.” 

“Does that roll include a shower?” 

“Min Yoongi,” Hoseok warned as he walked in on crutches. 

“I’ve been talking baths actually and I have another chapter edited.” 

“That’s great,” Hoseok said hitting Yoongi on the ribs. 

“Don’t forger we have that graduate meeting today,” Yoongi said as he sunk deeper into the couch. 

“Oh right,” Jin looked at his hood and wondered what he should do about Rap Monster. It wasn’t like he could take him to school. 

**  
“Ok, RM I have to go out for a bit ok? I have a graduate meeting but I can’t bring you with me,” Jin explained as Rap Monster stood on his bed with his head tilted. 

“I am Jin,” he said pointing at Jin’s shirt pocket. 

“No, RM. I am sorry but I can’t take you with me,” Jin explained. Rap Monster sighed starting to look frustrated then flopped on the bed with his arms crossed. Jin walked over to pick up his bag and gave Rap Monster a little bit of time. When he walked back he set the bag on the bed and started packing all his stuff, Rap Monster was sitting on the pillow with his back to him. 

“RM,” Jin called and Rap Monster just turned around more. “Hey,” Jin climbed on the bed and poked Rap Monster on the side. “I am sorry. I know you’re upset but I can’t bring you. Why don’t you take a nap and we can play when I get back?” Rap Monster just sat there and nothing. “I can cook some meat when I get back…,” Jin waited and sure enough Rap Monster turned around. Jin opened the covers and tucked him in and kept on getting ready. 

When Jin turned to leave, he almost called out to Rap Monster but saw that the covers were over his little head. Maybe a nap would do him well and left. 

**  
“That was so boring,” Jin turned and saw his colleague Ken walk towards him. 

“Of course, it was, they always are,” Jin responded. 

“Hey everyone, is going to get a drink after are you coming?” 

“Hmm, I was just going to head home. I have tons of work to finish.” 

“Oh ok,” Ken said looking a bit disappointed. “Where did you park?”

“Oh, by the library.” 

“Cool, I’ll walk with you then.” 

Jin tried not to seem like he was in a hurry, but he really wanted to get back and check on Rap Monster. The poor little muffin was probably bored because Jin had been gone so long. He should have known that an hour and half meeting would be over two hours. 

“Well my car is this way,” Jin pointed holding his keys in his hands. 

“Oh cool, but are you sure you can’t get a drink with everyone,” Ken asked again. 

“Yeah, I am sorry I do want to, but I just have a lot of work to do. I am just going to get something to eat then rush home,” Jin said with a smile trying to keep the conversation light. 

“Oh,” Ken turned around, “where are you getting food at?” 

Shit, Jin thought. He knew Ken had been trying to ask him out for a few months now, but he’d officially sworn off dating until he was done with the thesis. Ken was handsome, nice, and funny, but it just wasn’t a good time. Before Jin could come up with another excuse, Ken took his arm and started to pull him towards a small grouping of restaurants. 

“Ken, I am sorry I really can’t.” 

“Oh, come on. You have to eat and I have to eat it will be great.” 

It happened in an instant. One second he was being dragged by Ken to a restaurant and the next Ken shouted in pain. 

“What the hell? Something bit me!”

Jin pushed his bag back and stuffed his right hand into the bag keeping a right hold. “Oh, are you ok?” Jin said keeping his distance. 

“Yeah, but I don’t know what it was,” Ken was looking around on the ground for some unidentified entity. 

“Ken, thank you so much for the invitation for dinner, but I am seriously swamped. I’ll talk to you later,” and Jin power-walked away. 

Once in the car Jin set his bag down on the passenger seat and pulled a very upset Rap Monster out. He was wiggling in his hand trying to get a way looking around furiously. 

“Stop it,” Jin said firmly. “Stop it now! What are you doing here? Didn’t I tell you I couldn’t bring you? Didn’t I tell you, you needed to stay home?” Jin tried to keep a hold of Rap Monster but he slipped from his hold and landed on his lap. Jin tried again to catch him but he climbed quickly up the side of his coat and was at his shoulder in no time. 

“I AM JIN,” he said in a furious little voice as tears shined in his eyes. 

“No, I told you I couldn’t bring you. You should have listened and stayed home,” Jin said firmly as he tried to catch Rap Monster again only to lose him as he scrambled to his other shoulder. 

“I AM JIN. I AM JIN. I AM JIN,” Rap Monster said as he pointed in the direction Ken had disappeared. 

“No, I told you not to come and to stay home. You shouldn’t have snuck into my bag and come along,” Jin crossed his arms. 

Rap Monster jumped down from Jin’s shoulder on to the passenger’s seat. They drove home in silence. When it was time to get out of the car, Rap Monster climbed into the bag without help. Once they got into the apartment, Jin set is bag down on the bed and Rap Monster climbed down and buried himself under the covers. 

When Jin came back into the room a few hours later to get ready for bed, Rap Monster hadn’t moved. He was still under the covers. 

“RM, come on let’s get you ready for bed,” Jin said as he lifted the covers. Rap Monster rolled over opened his eyes looked at Jin and rolled back facing the wall. Jin noticed that not only was Rap Monster already in his pj’s but his hair was wet. He'd gotten himself ready for bed. Jin lifted him gently and placed him higher on the pillow where he would be more comfortable. 

Why was he so angry? He should be angry Rap Monster didn’t listen to what Jin had asked him to do. Worst, he’d bitten someone what if he’d been seen? Rap Monster had also climbed into his bag without him knowing. What if one of his books had squished him or something? Jin had just been worried that was all, but at the same time Rap Monster didn't know any better did he? He was just a little guy and perhaps he shouldn't have lost his temper. 

Jin climbed into bed and waited. Usually Rap Monster made his way over to him and slept snuggled to his face, Jin waited but nothing happened. After a few minutes, Jin reached out and pulled Rap Monster to the side of his cheek. “Hey just because you’re mad at me doesn’t mean you get to give me the cold shoulder. You can be mad at me if you want but I still want to cuddle." 

Jin fully expected Rap Monster to scramble away as he had earlier, but instead he heard a deep sign. “I am Jin,” Rap Monster said close to Jin’s ear. Jin feel asleep as Rap Monster softly stroked his cheek. 

"I love you," a deep voice said as the warm embrace of sleep enveloped Jin.


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing Jin heard in the morning was a sound so loud it was like the roof was caving in. It took him a few seconds to react before the muffled sound of “I am Jin” reached his ears. 

Jin jumped out of bed and ran into the living room to see Yoongi standing on top of his desk chair with a shoe in each hand. “Yoongi no!... Yoongi stop stop,” Jin rushed forward just in time to see RM dive behind Yoongi’s paper weight before it flew off of the desk. Jin did the only thing he could think of and tackled Yoongi to the ground. 

“Get off of me,” Yoongi growled. 

“Yoongi don’t! He’s MINE!” 

Jin wrapped himself tightly around Yoongi until he stopped struggling. 

“That thing is yours?” 

“Yes, he’s mine. I got him this weekend… I am going to let you go now,” Jin said slowly and crawled over to where RM was hiding. 

“It’s ok buddy,” Jin was on his knees. “RM… it’s ok come out. Did Yoongi scare you? I am sorry. Come on… come on out buddy.” Jin waited until he saw Rap Monster peak his little head out. “You’re ok come here.” 

RM walked slowly towards Jin and climbed on his hand keeping an eye on Yoongi who was standing behind them. 

“What the fuck is that?”

Jin cradled RM to his chest and turned. “His name is Rap Monster.” When Yoongi’s eyebrows shot into his hairline Jin sighed, “I didn’t name him that was the name on his box.”

“Jin I am going to need you to focus for a minute,” Yoongi squinted at Jin. “I don’t care what his fucken name is… I am curious about what the hell IT is!”

“Oh he’s my pocket monster. I got him on Friday after you left.” 

**  
“Jin a delicious breakfast,” Yoongi shoveled more eggs into his mouth. “Isn’t going to explain what that thing is.” 

RM hopped down from his candle and stood by Yoongi’s juice. “I am Jin,” RM shouted and pointed at Yoongi looking very disapproving. 

Yoongi scowled at RM, “what does the thing do?”

“His name is RM… or Rap Monster and he’s cute,” Jin explained, “He doesn’t need to do anything else except be cute right?” Rap Monster smiled and walked over to sit next to Jin.

Jin picked a raspberry from his plate and handed it to Rap Monster. “Oh my god look at him. He’s so cute.” 

Yoongi just rolled his eyes. He needed to get own place or convince Hoseok to finally take him in. He had always assumed at one day he’d come home and find Jin with five or six cats. But a cat lady wasn’t enough for Jin, of course not that would be too expected too normal. Jin had gone and gotten himself a pocket monster. 

**  
Two weeks later 

“Hey Jin what’s up?” 

Jin looked up to see Bo Gum smiling down at him. “I am good,” he responded. “I am sorry I am hogging the desk do you need it?” 

“No dude don’t worry, I don’t have office hours today. I am just here for the workshop are you staying as well?”

“Yes, I missed the last one and Professor Oh sent the email so I have to be there,” Jin rolled his eyes. His advisor the lovely Professor Oh was brilliant and one of the leading scholars in their field, but she was demanding and tough. Jin loved her and worshipped the academic ground she walked on, but he did work much harder than some of his colleagues. 

“We’ll she’s leading the Job Talk so I am sure we’ll get a lot of good advice and tips. You’re not on the job market are you?” 

Jin laughed. He wasn’t even done with his thesis and still needed two more years of course work. “Hell no, I still have two more years of course work and my thesis to finish.”

“Oh that’s right,” Bo Gum responded. “I forget you’re just a Master’s student.” 

Jin laughed, “oh yes… JUST a master’s student. Come on we should go claim some seats.” 

Jin took detailed notes on the Job talk. He still had a few years before any of the information applied to him, but it was better to be prepared. 

“Jin it’s great to see you out,” Professor Oh came to stand by Jin. 

“Yes, Professor, I missed the last job talk so I wanted to make sure I caught this one,” Jin answered awkwardly. He was always so awkward around Professor Oh. It wasn’t that he wanted to be awkward around her he just didn’t really know how to stop talking. 

“Well this information doesn’t apply to you yet but its good for you to hear it. How is the thesis going.” 

“Its going,” Jin nodded. “I have two chapters completed and I am editing the third.”

“Oh that’s great,” Professor Oh’s face lit with interest. “Send me the two chapters you have ok. I’ll expect them by tonight.” 

Son of a bitch! Jin yelled at himself. He still needed to edit the two chapters they were done, but they weren’t done, done. 

“I have to edit a bit,” Jin said tentatively. “I can get them to you by Friday.” 

“Friday sounds great, I look forward to reading them.” Professor Oh picked up her Fossil briefcase and walked out of the room. 

Jin was so fucked. 

“Hey Jin we’re all going to get a drink want to come?” 

“No… I just promised Professor Oh I’d have two chapters ready for her by Friday. I need to get home and work.” Jin was already half panicking, but was trying to reign in the madness. He would usually go with the guys get a drink clear his head and then work, but he just wanted to get home. 

“Come on Jin, you definitely need a drink now.” 

“No I am sorry. I have to feed RM anyway?”

“Who is RM?”

“Ahhh…. I got a pet,” Jin answered. It wasn’t like he could say he got a toy… you wouldn’t have to feed toys.

“Oh that’s cool. Yoongi finally cave and let you get a cat?”

Jin just laughed and walked off. 

**  
A few days later. 

“Hey Jin!” 

Jin stopped in the middle of the quad and waved at Bo Gum and Ken. “What’s up?” 

“Hey how are your chapters going?” Ken smiled warmly at Jin. 

“Oh, I finished them and sent them to Professor Oh. I am just waiting for feedback,” Jin crossed his fingers and lifted both hands to the sky. “It’s all in the hands of the graduate gods.” The three of them laughed. 

“Hey do you want to get lunch,” Ken asked enthusiastically. “We’re getting sushi.” 

“Yeah, Jin come with us. We haven’t seen you around much,” Bo Gum added. 

“Sorry guys, I can’t. I need to get home and I still have three chapters to write.” 

“Oh come on,” Bo Gum insisted. “Lately you’ve been ghost mode.” 

Jin laughed. “I am writing my thesis. I promise once I am done we can hangout… actually why don’t we do something on Sunday?” 

“Ok, sounds good to me,” Ken agreed quickly. 

**  
Sunday 

Ken:   
Hey everyone, I was wondering if we were still on for a drink today. 

Bo Gum:  
Yes still down. PLEASE. I’ve been grading for my summer course and OMG. Next time I think teaching a full class in eight weeks is a good idea someone punch me. 

Jin:   
Will do! But… don’t hate me ok.

Bo Gum:  
DON’T YOU DARE JIN I NEED A DRINK

Jin:   
And you can have a giant drink on me. I can meet up with you guys but only for like 30 minutes. I am swamped with work. Sorry! But you two have fun ok. I am on campus Wednesday let’s get lunch I’ll buy!

Ken:   
If you can stop by for 30 minutes that’s ok.

Jin:  
Hmmm I think its better if I stay home and work, sorry to bail guys. But have fun! 

**  
Wednesday 

Jin:   
Hey guys! So lunch?

Ken:  
I am down

Bo Gum:  
I am down but I am done with office hours in like 20? Does that work?

Jin:   
Works great. How do you guys feel about Pho?

Ken:  
Pho works

Bo Gum:  
Sounds perfect. 

Jin:   
Ok see you guys in 30. 

**  
Ken powerwalked across campus to meet Bo Gum and Jin. He knew he shouldn’t be excited about it, but his stupid “I have an epic high school crush on Jin” didn’t pay any attention. 

When Ken walked into the restaurant he saw Jin sitting at a side table, “hey.” 

“Hey.”

“Did you already order?” Ken set his things down. 

“Yes, I was starving. Bo Gum texted me his order as well.” 

“Cool, I’ll be right back.” 

By the time Ken made his way back to the table, Bo Gum had arrived and they were having a heated conversation about the logistics of Super Mario brothers. It always warmed Ken’s heart to see how nerdy and adorable Jin was. Invefitably as all conversations between graduate students eventually turned towards school. 

“At this point I just want to finish, but I feel like I am just making shit up now,” Jin took antoher mouthful of noodles. 

Both Bo Gum and Ken laughed. “I mean aren’t we all making shit up?” Ken asked. 

“Fair enough,” Jin lifted his boba tea and cheered towards Ken. 

“But, I’d like to think that my bullshit is sophisticated and slightly inventive,” Jin said with a wink. “You’re applying for grants right Ken?”

“Yes, I am working on the Melon and it’s slowly sucking the life out of me,” Ken slumped his shoulders. 

“Oh man, that sucks,” Jin reached over and touched Ken’s hand. 

“Yeah, but I hear they’re all like that so… Fun!” Bo Gum gave Ken a toothy grin. 

“Yes we’re living the dream didn’t you know,” Ken laughed. 

“Its like Ron said. We’re going to suffer but we’re going to be happy about it,” Jin laughed because Harry Potter was life. 

“Oh god Jin seriously,” Bo Gum rubbed a hand over his face. 

“And with that lovely reference, I have to go,” Jin took a drink of his water and started to pack his stuff. 

“But we just got here,” Ken complained seeing his chance of spending time with Jin disappear. 

“Sorry guys, I still have a boat load of work to do but see you guys later.” 

Bo Gum waited for Jin to leave to restaurant before he dared to say anything. “You should really give up man. I know you were making some time with Jin, but he’s been so MIA lately that I think he might be seeing someone else.” 

“I don’t think so. He’d say something if he was,” Ken was sure of this: almost sure. Well maybe 98 percent sure that Jin would say something. 

“Dude… he’s been changing plans and is constantly busy… sounds like dating someone new to me,” Bo Gum insisted. 

Ken looked towards the door where Jin had disappeared and wondered if Bo Gum’s words held any weight. Jin did look energized lately and oddly happy for someone always so busy. 

**  
Three Weeks Later 

“Hey Jin,” Ken ran across the lawn. Jin looked perfect as usual. Jin was wearing a pastel blue shirt with charcoal gray slacks and brown loafers. How was it possible he looked so exquisite all the time? 

“Hi Ken how are you?” 

“I am great. How are you doing?” 

“I am doing great as well,” Jin pushed his glasses higher on his nose. Ken tried not to whimper. He’d had a crush on Kim Seokjin since their orientation, but nothing had come of his advances. Jin was working on his thesis and Ken could feel the end of his chance coming. 

“How is your thesis coming along?” 

“Oh you know it’s going… I have a full outline and I have two chapters down but the third is going ok,” Jin adjusted the strap of his bag and looked towards his car. 

“Oh that’s great. Well if you want me to read anything, I’d be more than happy to,” Ken smiled and touched Jin’s forearms. 

“That’s really sweet, I might have to take you up on that but listen I have to go home and work. Bye.” 

Ken just stood and watched as Jin walked away. Maybe he should just give up on the crush he’s had for two years. 

**  
“Yoongi you have to talk to him,” Hoseok leaned forward as Yoongi adjusted a pillow on his back. 

“No.” 

“Yoongi… I know, I know you don’t like talking to people about things, events or their feelings. I get it, but Jin I know you’re worried about Jin,” Hoseok held Yoongi’s hand. 

“No, I am not. I am not worried about Jin at all. He’s a grown ass man.” 

“Yoongi…”

“No, Hoseok, I am not getting involved,” Yoongi squinted at his boyfriend. 

“Yoongi I spoke to N and he’s friends with Ken… You remember Ken right?”

Yoongi groaned. He had two options. One: he could sit here and sulk for the next hour until his boyfriend inevitably wore him down or two: he could slowly cave and get Hoseok into bed. “Yes, I remember him.” 

“So Ken has been after Jin since he moved here. So apparently a few weeks ago before I got hurt, Ken asked Jin out for a date and Jin FINALLY agreed.”

“Good for him, ouch! That hurt,” Yoongi rubbed his arm. 

“Don’t you sass me Min Yoongi. I’ll smack you again! Ok so as I was saying… He asked him out and Jin has been rescheduling their date for three weeks ever since he got that toy you said he bought.” 

“Ok,” Yoongi wasn’t quite sure what he was supposed to say at this point. 

“So…,” Hoseok urged, “you should talk to him.” 

“Because… Jin shouldn’t cancel dates?” When Yoongi heard Hoseok’s exasperated sigh, he knew his fantasy of talking Hoseok into things was slowly disappearing. “Wait…. Because he’s been stuck in his room playing with that toy?”

“Min Yoongi… I…. I am not even going to with you. But you should talk to him,” Hoseok leaned over and kissed Yoongi on the lips. “You’re a sweet guy. I love you the conversation is going to go great.” 

**  
Yoongi waited a full day before he came up with a plan. He took a long nap and figured that writing a letter, sending a post it, writing an email, and making a PowerPoint were not going to work. It needed to be an old fashion conversation. Yoongi stood outside of the door and tried to pump himself up, but instantly started to feel tired and changed his mind. He just needed to talk to Jin and then he was done. 

Yoongi walked into the apartment and Jin was sitting at his desk working with RM looking through books. Yoongi opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out and he went to sit on his desk. The truth was that Yoongi wasn’t quite sure that Jin buying RM was such a bad thing. Jin had been super productive lately and while Yoongi tried to kill RM thinking he was a creature the little dude was cute. Jin also seemed really happy and content they had a routine and everything. They had breakfast together and always made a little extra for him. Jin took RM on walks and let him sit in his shirt pocket. They usually went to the gym after then had lunch. After lunch the two of them sat and worked until dinner. Yoongi opened messenger on his computer and messaged Hoseok. 

Suga Bear:   
Hey

My Hope:  
Hey you talk to Jin already?

Suga Bear:   
About that…

My Hope:  
Yoongi we talked about this.

Suga Bear:  
I know and I think you made a great point but.. Well in all honesty I don’t see what’s so bad about Jin and RM

My Hope:  
There’s nothing bad about RM. He’s adorable BUT Jin is usually super social and likes to go out and do things. It would be different if Jin still did all of his regular things and had him. But he’s completely shut everyone else out. 

Suga Bear:  
He seems happy and he’s writing his thesis.. it kind of goes like that sometimes. 

My Hope:  
I don’t think so… If it was you yes.. its typical.. but usually Jin gets out to relax from writing and I just don’t know that this coping mechanism of shutting everyone out is a good idea. He hasn’t been over to see his parents either. 

Suga Bear:   
Fucken shit. Fine I’ll talk to him but this is bullshit and you know it. 

My Hope:  
Not bullshit. Grad school sucks you tell me all the time… remember Rex? How he just disappeared after a year and a half and no one knew he’d dropped out. It gets hard and Jin is your friend and roommate just check on him make sure he’s not losing it. 

Suga Bear:   
Res was a unique situation. They accepted him in the program with an advisor in mind… the fact that his advisor pretended not to have him as a student and none of the administration stepped in to help him was the department not Rex’s fault. 

My Hope:   
I never said it was Rex’s fault. I am just saying is that if you’re going through a hard time its nice to have support. You guys all had his back but he still dropped out. 

Suga Bear:   
If I was Rex I would have left like that too. Fuck those people they did him so dirty. But again Rex was in a different situation, Jin is more connected to the department. 

My Hope:   
What about Brandon? He was well connected as well, and had tons of friends and he went full ghost mode. No one even knew he had dropped out. He just up and left one day. 

Suga Bear:   
Fine. I’ll talk to him. 

My Hope:   
You’re adorable. Let me know how it goes. 

“How is it going Jin?” 

Jin turned in his chair, “it’s going great I am almost done with my next chapter. I just need to double check citations and clean up certain sections.” 

“Cool,” Yoongi leaned back in his chair and just looked at Jin. 

“Is something the matter,” Jin asked. 

“No nothing, I am going to get to work.” Yoongi checked his watch it was 4:15. RM usually took a nap around 5 so he figured he’d wait until the little cutie went to bed. 

At 4:45, RM who had been diligently working started nodding off. Yoongi pretended to be working on his computer and watched as Jin carefully slipped RM into his hands. He held him there petting him softly until RM’s distinct snore filled the room. Jin got up a few minutes later to put RM in bed for his nap. Yoongi got out of his chair and went to get a drink for Jin. 

“Here Hyung,” Yoongi handed Jin a bottle of green tea. 

“Thanks,” Jin took the bottle, opened it and took a drink. “What’s on your mind, Yoongi. I can just see the wheels turning in there. Although let’s be real they’re rusty.” Jin’s windshield wiper laugh filled the room. 

“Hyung… How are you feeling?” Yoongi figured that was as good way to start as any. 

“I am ok. Yoongi… is something the matter? I don’t think you’ve asked me if I was ok since like… ever,” Jin reached out and touched Yoongi’s forearm. 

“Hyung… I don’t really know how to say this,” Yoongi trailed off. Damn it he hated doing this kind of thing. How the fuck was he even supposed to start? Hyung you need to reenter the world of the living and quit playing with that toy you bought? Or perhaps Hyung… I think you’re relationship with your toy is slightly inappropriate? 

“Oh is if finally happening?” Jin smiled brightly, “is Hoseok finally letting you move in and you’re abandoning me?” 

“No Hyung its nothing like that,” Yoongi did his best to not blush to the root of his hair. “I… Fuck!” Yoongi paced in the small space between his desk and Jin’s. “Look I am worried about you,” Yoongi started to explain. “Ever since RM came to live with you… well you never leave the house anymore. You’ve been avoiding everyone and you’re acting different.” 

“I am working on my thesis,” Jin brushed off what Yoongi said. He knew he’d been blowing people off to stay with RM, but it wasn’t a bad thing. He was getting work done and RM was so adorable. “You’re being weird.” 

“Jin,” it was the honesty in Yoongi’s voice that stopped him. “I am not being weird. All you do since RM’s been here is stay with him. I get it he’s cute but you know he’s not real right? He’s a toy. You have friends… And you’ve blown off Ken a ton lately after you finally agreed to go on a date with him. You also haven’t gone out for a drink with anyone and your routine is completely different. It all revolves around RM’s nap, and his feeding time, and your walks with him. 

Jin just pouted and said nothing. 

“I need you to say it Jin. I promised Hoseok I’d talk to you about this.”

“You need me to say what?”

“Say RM is just a toy. Say he’s not real and that you don’t have feelings for him.” 

“Oh my god Yoongi are you serious?” Jin started to blink uncontrollably and laughed. “I am not delusional or anything.” 

“Jin, I need you to say it or Hoseok is going to call your mom,” Yoongi threatened. 

“Oh for the love of god, I know he isn’t real Yoongi. RM is just a toy and of course I have absolutely no feelings for him whatsoever. He’s just a toy and I enjoy him like I would my Mario or Ironman. I’ve simply been focusing on my thesis that’s all,” Jin leaned back against his desk. “Are we good then?”

Yoongi nodded, “what are you making us for dinner?” 

When Jin laughed and walked towards the kitchen, Yoongi felt better about the whole situation. While he still wasn’t so sure that Jin spending time with RM was such a bad thing he did agree with Hoseok that the sudden change in Jin wasn’t normal. Yoongi was about to go back to his desk when he noticed the door to Jin’s room was slightly open. Yoongi looked down he saw RM’s little head peeking out, and he felt a slight twinge of regret when he saw the look on RM’s face: he was crying. His eyes looked incredibly sad and heartbroken as tears ran down his chubby cheeks. 

Yoongi almost went to RM, but he fought the urge to pick him up and console him. Rm was just a toy he reminded himself and watched as he walked away. “He’s just a toy,” Yoongi said out loud to himself again. He needed to protect the friend he did have and followed Jin into the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

Customer Service Phone Call Transcript:

Jungkook: Hello. Thank you for calling BitHit Toy’s may I have your full name? 

Jin: Yes, its Kim Seokjin.

Jungkook: Hello Mr. Kim I hope you’re having a wonderful morning my name is Jungkook what can I assist you with today?

Jin: Yes, I just have a quick question. My pocket monster has been acting a bit strange lately. He’s been sluggish and not as… well not as happy as usual.

Jungkook: Mr. Kim you’re calling because your pocket monster seems to be acting out of the ordinary I can definitely assist you with that. If I can have you contract number, I will be happy to assist you in figuring out what might be the matter with your pocket monster.

Jin: oh yes, sorry I forgot about that. See I called before and I actually don’t have a contract number. I was told it was unusual but I didn’t purchase him directly from your company.

Jungkook: Pocket Monsters are only available for purchase at official retailers. You shouldn’t have been able to purchase a Pocket Monster from any other service.

Jin: Yes, I am aware of this, but I did and now I am worried about him. 

Jungkook: I am sorry Mr. Kim but without the contract number I am unable to look up the specifications on the model that you have. His change of behavior might be something as simple as a previous programed power down or as serious as a malfunction. I really have no way of knowing without the contract number.

Jin: I see… Is there anything I can do.. or anything you could help me. You guys don’t have a local store I can visit. 

Jungkook: No Mr. Kim I apologize deeply for this inconvenience, but I am afraid there isn’t anything I can do about this.

Jin: Oh… ok. I understand thank you for… RM no no come here. Its ok buddy… shhhhh its ok I am sorry. I promise you’ll be better soon.

Jungkook: hmmm Mr. Kim…. Mr. Kim.

Jin: Yes sorry.

Jungkook: Off the record sir and please know that BigHit toys will not be liable if this further damages your model in anyway if you take any of the following suggestions.

Jin: Yes of course thank you what can I do?

Jungkook: Sir… Mr. Kim Pocket Monsters are a sophisticated, complex and detailed design. You can customize virtually any part of them to fit your specific needs.

Jin: Yes, I was told this last time I called.

Jungkook: Sir. There are times when some customers have designed their Pocket Monsters to such detail that they appear to have feelings and emotions. The Pocket Monsters are so in tune to the environment of their owners that they react accordingly. Now I am not suggesting that this is the case with your model but I do want to express that they are sophisticated.

Jin: I… I understand thank you so much for your help.

Jungkook: Is there anything else I can assist you with?

Jin: No thank you that was all

Jungkook: Thank you so much for calling BitHit Toys, I hope you have a great day.

Jin hung up the phone and kissed the top of RM’s head. RM just looked at him and then looked down at his little hands. Jin wasn’t sure what to do. RM had been acting weird for almost a week. He was sluggish and spent a ton of time sleeping. Jin had to practically beg him to get out of bed every morning. Jin wasn’t sure and couldn’t prove it since he’d never weighed RM but he seemed thinner. Jin also caught RM’s eyes tearing up a few times.

“What’s wrong,” Jin asked RM.

RM just looked up at him and shook his head.

“Well something is wrong are you sick?”

RM shook his head.

“Does something hurt?”

RM looked down at his hands but shook his head again.

“Come on little guy what is it?” Jin put his finger under RM’s cheek and lifted his head. Jin just stared down at RM’s pretty brown eyes and within a few moments they started to fill. “What is it,” he asked as he cradled RM to his chest. “Why are you sad?”

RM said nothing and after taking a few deep breaths pulled back. Jin set him down on his desk and RM climbed up his stack of books and started to work as usual.

Jin opted for staying home all day and kept an eye on RM but nothing seemed to change. Jin took RM’s temperature and it seemed normal. That night, Jin stitched RM a new sleeping shirt and gave him a warm lavender bath. RM seemed to relax but his general mood didn’t change. Jin borrowed a brush from one of Yoongi’s dolls and combed through RM’s hair. That night, Jin didn’t sleep well. RM was tossing and turning and he occasionally whimpered.

**

A few days later

“Come on RM,” Jin held a tiny jacket in his hands and shook it towards Rap Monster. “Hands up, come on buddy.”

Rap Monster slowly got up and held out his little hands Jin slipped the jacket on and brushed at the small lapels. “Well you look super cute,” Jin had been trying any number of things to try to cheer Rap Monster up, but nothing had helped. Even Yoongi’s attempt to get RM more sunshine by making him a chair and putting him next to his tulip plant didn’t work. Jin couldn’t think of any other option except take RM out with him. Maybe keeping RM inside since he was such a sophisticated model didn’t give him enough to do.

“Ok RM, let’s get going,” Jin waited for RM to climb into his hand and then neatly dropped him into his reinforced shirt pocket. Instead, standing up as usual, RM just sat down in the pocket and sighed. Jin tried not to get worried and just got his things together.

Fifteen minutes later, Jin parked his car and headed towards the library. “RM you’re going to like the library they have tons of books. Should we see if there’s something that you want to read? RM looked up at Jin but didn’t say anything. Jin was walking past the DP section on the third floor when RM moved in his shirt pocket.

Jin double backed and started to move through the stacks of books while monitoring RM’s reaction. RM’s little eyes scanned the titles of the books and his little hands came up to hold on to the edge of the pocket. Jin’s fingers moved past a thick book and RM’s little voice chimed, “I am Jin.”

Jin pulled a tome of a book. The title read “Spain 1808-1975,” By Sir Raymond Carr. “You want to read this book,” Jin asked. RM nodded and reached out his little hands towards it. “It’s ok RM. I’ll get it for you.” Jin put the book in his tote and dropped RM inside so he could leaf through it.

Jin sat RM down in the passenger’s seat. RM just sat comfortably on top of his book and looked straight ahead. Jin needed to go to the post office and ship a package to his mom, but his little RM came first.

“Come on buddy,” Jin parked the car and scooped up RM. Rap Monster peeked out of Jin’s shirt pocket. “So… Comedy, adventure or fantasy?”

“I am Jin,” RM tilted his head.

“So adventure it is,” Jin smiled and selected a movie at random. He walked over and got a small popcorn, coke, and some jelly beans.

Jin sat down and arranged his items. Once the lights dimmed, he took RM out of his pocket and sat him on his knee. During the previews, Jin would bring RM to his lips and ask if they should see another movie and wait for RM to respond with a nod or a shake of his head. Halfway through the movie, RM nodded off and Jin cradled him to his chest and held him until the movie ended.

**

“Good morning,” Jin rolled RM over and massaged his side to wake him up. When RM tried to snuggle deeper into the blankets, Jin fixed that by nuzzling RM and blowing raspberries on his belly. RM’s little giggles filled the room and Jin picked him up and walked towards the bathroom to get ready for the day.

“Well RM we’re running out of outfits,” Jin said as he picked up the few pieces of clothing that RM had. “How do you feel about going shopping today?”

RM smiled and his dimples flashed for the first time in a week.

Four hours and ten stores later, Jin had found some great things for RM. “You’re going to look so cute,” Jin ripped off a piece of pretzel and handed it to RM.

“Where should we go next,” Jin asked.

RM’s little owl eyes looked around at the different stores. He hesitated a bit then pointed towards a gaming store. “Oh RM… I don’t know why I doubt your perfection.”

One hundred and fifty dollars later, Jin was loaded with bags and had RM sleeping in his shirt pocket. Jin was so happy and please with himself for solving the RM situation that he wasn’t paying attention and ran straight into Ken’s chest.

“Oh I am so sorry. I am so sorry,” Jin bowed and turned to pick up the two bags he’d dropped.

“Do you always just run into men,” Ken smoldered a laugh because this might be the first time he caught Jin off guard. He was embarrassed and started blinking rapidly.

“I… Of course not, I was just distracted.” Jin smiled and readjusted his bags.

“It looks like you had a successful shopping trip.”

“I did. I just needed a few things and it was a good excuse to get out of the house.”

“Ahhh, I see,” Ken just watched as Jin got even more flustered. He knew he shouldn’t be enjoying it, but it was hard to not enjoy everything that Jin did. “Did you eat already? All that shopping must have made you hungry.”

“I haven’t but,” Jin nodded towards the pretzel wrapper tucked into the frozen yogurt cup and the lemonade in his other hand.

“Ahhh, I see,” Ken hid a smile since Jin seemed embarrassed again.

“I should get going,” Jin started, “I kind of shopped a little longer than I should have.”

“Oh I’ll walk you. Here let me help you with that,” Ken smoothly took a few bags out of Jin’s hands.

“You don’t have-… Thanks,” Jin found himself blushing again. He looked down but RM seemed to be sleeping still.

“You know Jin… I’ve been trying to ask you on a date for a while,” Jin looked down at his hands but said nothing.

“If you’re absolutely not interested I completely understand and I’ll never bring it up again. I think you like me though,” Ken said slowing down. “And I definitely like you. I think you’re a great guy.” Ken stopped and turned to face Jin.

“Ken I am not sure-“

“Its ok,” Ken smiled. “Listen, if you’re interested let me know next Thursday at 7:30. We’ll go to dinner and we’ll see how it goes. If I don’t hear from you I’ll know the answer and it won’t be awkward between us ok.”

Jin just nodded and watched as Ken walked away. He really was a nice guy. Why couldn’t Jin make it work with him? Something just always felt off, but perhaps he should try harder. Jin turned to follow Ken but a small and sleepy, “I am Jin” stopped him.

“Hey are you up?”

RM rubbed his little eyes, smiled and nodded.

“We should head home then are you hungry?”

“I am Jin. I am Jin,” RM smiled and stood up. Jin could see a little bit of powder sugar sticking to RM’s face and almost melted at the cuteness.

**

Later that night

“He seems to be doing better,” Yoongi pointed towards RM with his chopsticks. RM was trying on his new clothes in front of a face mirror that Jin had propped up for him.

“Yeah, I was super worried there for a minute.”

“I know,” Yoongi took another mouthful of noodles. “He’s really sweet, but have you figured out more about his contract number?”

Jin shook his head. “Nope not even a little bit. I called remember when RM wasn’t feeling well and they told me that I should have gotten it when I purchased him but I didn’t buy him from them.”

“And they told you, you shouldn’t have been able to purchase him anywhere else right?”

“Yup that’s what they said,” Jin confirmed.

“How much did you pay for him again?”

“He was 26.99 plus tax,” Jin answered watching as RM stripped off another shirt and tried something else on.

“You know they’re super expensive right?”

“Yes, that’s what I heard.”

“No like super expensive, Hoseok went on the sight and designed a ‘basic model’ and it was around 200.”

“200? Wow.” He looked over towards RM who was neatly folding his new clothes. RM wasn’t a basic model that was for sure.

“Maybe someone abandoned him,” Yoongi suggested.

That night, Jin held on to RM close and constantly kissed his little head. RM probably didn’t know he’d been abandoned, but it still broke Jin’s heart that someone would dare to leave him. RM started to hum. “Do you want me to sing to you?”

RM’s head popped up and nodded excited, “I am Jin!”

“Ok,” Jin said with a smile, “But you need to relax and lay down,” RM complied and settled into the side of Jin’s face.

“I’ll sing I love you by Mate to you ok?”

Jin closed his eyes relaxing into sleep as well and started to sing.

_We’re too different_

_You know that well_

_We aren’t able to embrace_

_Each other’s realities_

_I don’t understand_

_I don’t remember_

_Words that will always just be words_

_I don’t expect them_

_I love you_

_To your warm touch_

_I love you_

When RM’s snore filled the room, Jin just smiled. “I love you buddy.”

**

Jin dreamt of being wrapped in someone’s arms.

_Jin stretched out and his lover wrapped himself around him nuzzling his neck. “Do you remember when you used to do that to me? You’re so cute.”_

_Jin felt a giggle escape him as he felt his lover’s hands run over him. “I love you,” the deep voice whispered in his ear. Jin ran his hand along his lover’s thigh. And laid his head on his shoulder._

Jin woke up with the lingering feeling of arms wrapped around him.

“I am Jin,” RM’s voice rang in his ear.

“I am up…,” Jin covered his face and rolled to the side.

“I am Jin,” RM tugged at the edge of the blanket. Jin pretended to struggle and giggled as he heard RM struggle.

“I am Jin,” RM said as his eyebrows wrinkled.

“Fine, I am up,” Jin threw the cover off. “What should we do today,” Jin asked as he started to arrange the bed.

Jin watched as RM ran across the bed and held on to the side of the blanket and slipped down to the floor. Jin followed RM into the living room and laughed as RM climbed up the desk.

The park! A picnic. It’s pretty outside.

RM smiled so brightly that Jin couldn’t help but smile back.

**

Jin: Hey

Bo Gum: What’s up dude?

Jin: Nothing just hanging out but hey can we reschedule for later something came up.

Bo Gum: Sure its no problem is everything ok?

Jin looked down at his phone and tried not to feel guilty. “Come on RM,” Jin took Rap Monster and set him in his picnic basket.

Jin: Yes, I am good it’s nothing serious. But thanks you’re awesome.

“Hey are you heading out to meet Bo Gum,” Yoongi walked into the living room.

“Oh no,” Jin smiled. “RM and I are going to have a picnic in the park. Do you and Hoseok want to come?”

Hoseok walked into the living room, “where are we going?”

“RM and I are going to have a picnic in the park do you guys want to join?”

“That sounds like fun, give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready,” Hoseok turned to go into the room and the look of complete misery on Yoongi’s face was so perfect Jin just laughed.

**

Yoongi spent the next few days watching Jin and RM go on dates.

There was really no other thing to call it. A trip to the mall, picnic in the park, movie date, and exploring a cat café was nothing if not dates. Yoongi did his best to keep his thoughts and doubts to himself. But after he walked in on Jin sitting in his desk chair with RM cuddled to his chest, Yoongi felt there was something going on. RM crawled to Jin’s face and hugged him kissing his cheek gently. “I love you too,” Jin said without hesitation.

Yoongi knew he should say something to Jin, but wasn’t sure what or how to say anything. He was a practical man and didn’t quite know how to handle the situation. Yoongi figured a hands on approach was the best and walked into his room and pulled out his cell phone.

Yoongi: Hello Ken. This is Yoongi, Jin’s roommate.

Ken: Hello Yoongi. How are you doing?

Yoongi: I am doing well thank you. I was just hoping to bother you for a second.

Ken: Of course, what can I do for you.

Yoongi: Are you still interested in dating Jin?

Ken: Well Yoongi, I am not quite sure how to answer that. We don’t know each other very well.

Yoongi: I completely understand I apologize for bothering you.

Ken: Its quite alright. But yes, I am still interested in Jin. I asked him out again and hope to hear from him before Thursday. If I don’t then I am assuming there is absolutely no interest.

Yoongi: Its Wednesday has he reached out to you?

Ken: He has not.

Ken: Would you happen to know if he plans on messaging me.

Yoongi: I do not. I am sorry I can’t offer any help, but thank you for letting me know.

Ken: No, problem. Its no secret I’ve asked him out.

**

Yoongi waited until Jin set RM down for the night .The last few nights Jin had been working late to finish more of his thesis. Yoongi waited until midnight to approach Jin.

“Hey want a drink? I am going to make some tea.”

“Sure,” Jin yawned, “tea sounds great.”

Yoongi returned with a cup of tea and set it down for Jin next to RM’s notebook and coat.

“What does he do while you work?”

Jin smiled, “I am not sure actually. I tried to read it the other day but he said it wasn’t ready and sat on it.” Jin laughed whole heartedly which meant it sounded like windshield wipers. “It was cute, but he said it will be ready soon.”

Yoongi lifted his cup to his mouth, but said nothing.

“What is it,” Jin asked as he turned his chair to face Yoongi.

“I an that easy to read?”

“Yup, you usually avoid human contact so its super easy to tell,” Jin winked at Yoongi.

“Ken asked you out again,” Yoongi let the statement hang between them.

“Min Yoongi I never realized how interested you were in my dating life.”

“We talked about this hyung.”

“Yoongi I am just-“

“Busy, working on my thesis, I have a lot on my plate,” Yoongi lifted an eyebrow but looked straight at Jin again. “I am your friend you know that right? I get that the last few weeks you’ve been probably the most productive I’ve ever seen you, but you’ve also abandoned everything else. Bo Gum hasn’t seen you in weeks and you keep on canceling on him. Look I don’t want to intervene again, but let me ask you this hypothetically… how do you feel about Ken?”

Jin let his head fall back on his chair. “Listen Ken is great. We have a lot in common both of us are graduate students so he gets it. The monster that is grad school. He’s also smart and hardworking. I also like his project and think its relevant which is more than what I can say about some people. He doesn’t strike me as a jerk either so over all I think he’s nice. He’s also good looking. I dig a nose on a guy. He has great hair and pretty lips I mean if you look at him what’s there not to like, I do like him,” Jin blew on his cup and took another zip.

It was quick but Yoongi thought he saw the door to Jin’s room close. He peaked over but saw nothing.

“But the reality is I just don’t feel the umph,” Jin stretched out his hand. “I mean on paper we would make a great couple but I just don’t feel a spark.”

“I think you should go on the date with him,” Yoongi suggested. “If you don’t how would you know IF there is or could be a spark. Also it kind of gives him a chance to figure it out too.”

“I guess. I kind of sort of not really have a date with him tomorrow.”

“Make it happen,” Yoongi got up and patted Jin on the back. “I am going to bed.”

**

Jin started to feel the dating vibe when he started to get ready. There was something about going through all the steps of getting ready that started to get him excited. Jin used his favorite body wash that made him smell like pomegranates and berry. He carefully shaved and put on his best aftershave. Jin took out several possible outfit ideas and modeled them for RM before selecting an outfit.

Jin made sure to keep RM up past is 5:00 pm nap so that he would sleep earlier and not give Yoongi a hard time. At around 7, Jin closed the door to his room and tiptoed into the living room.

“Hey Yoongi I just set RM down for his nap. You sure you’ll be ok watching him?”

“Jin, I am not an idiot. You said he’ll probably be sleeping the rest of the night right?”

“He should,” Jin sprayed some perfume and walked into the scented cloud. “I didn’t let him take his evening nap so he should be down but check on him later ok?”

“I will. I will,” Yoongi rolled his eyes. Like he couldn’t look after a toy? Well RM was way more than that but anyway. “We’ll be fine don’t worry.”

“Ok that’s great but text me if anything happens,” Jin looked around his desk. “Shit I left my bag in the room, one second.”

Jin tiptoed back into the living room. “Got it,” Jin lifted the bag and smiled.

“I am glad you’re going on the date,” Yoongi followed Jin to the door.

“Jesus Min Yoongi… seriously I didn’t know you were so interested in my dating life.”

“No seriously Jin… I know we had a weird conversation about his adorableness,” Yoongi nodded towards Jin’s room.

“Yoongi,” Jin rolled his eyes as he got his shoes on. “Rap Monster is just a toy. I’ve told you before. What kind of an idiot would I be to like my toy? This isn’t Chobits.”

Yoongi waited by the door until Jin left. Yes, he had done the right thing encouraging Jin to go on a date. Of course his friend wasn’t in love with a miniature size toy even if it was cute and Jin had looked the happies he’d ever been.

**

“I am glad you came out,” Ken said as he walked Jin back to his car.

“No thanks for asking me out, I really had a great time,” Jin smiled and he had. Being on a date with ken had been easy, comfortable even. “Everything has been insane lately.”

“Yes, I am sure graduate school sucks,” Ken laughed gently and reached for Jin’s hand.

Jin stiffened but didn’t pull his hand away. “You are correct. Graduate school sucks and that is the official term.”

“You know what?” Ken flashed a toothy grin at Jin.

“What?’

“Bo Gum was swearing up and down you were seeing someone.”

“Really?” Jin’s brain instantly went to Rap Monster. “Where would I have the time to see anyone,” Jin covered up quickly.

“Well he just said you seemed really upbeat lately and kept on canceling plans with him so he swore it was because you were seeing someone.”

“Well first I think being up beat is a stretch. I am delirious and exhausted that’s what that was. Also yes I am a terrible human,” Jin winked at Ken. “I have been canceling everything but it’s to ride out the waves of panic since I am not quite sure I’ll ever finish this thesis.”

“Well it’s admirable,” Ken nudged Jin’s shoulder.

“This is me,” Jin pointed towards his car.

Ken turned Jin and held both of his hands. “Well thanks for coming out,” Ken leaned down and laid his lips gently on Jin’s. They were warm and soft and the scent of Jin’s aftershave wrapped around his mind. Damn it why did he have to be so fucken perfect.

Ken was so involved in enjoying the feel of Jin pressed against him for the first time that he almost missed it. It was in Jin’s eyes. The slight twitch of them covered in the look of guilt and hesitation. Ken almost apologized thinking he had misread the situation, but when Jin dropped his gaze he knew he hadn’t. Jin wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t seeing anyone, but it seemed that someone was already in his heart.

Ken smiled at Jin and squeezed his hands. He’d been too late. Jin liked someone else. “Drive safe,” Ken smiled at Jin and walked away.

Jin had just pulled into his parking spot when his phone went off.

Ken: I had a great time tonight. Thanks for giving me a chance, but there’s someone else isn’t there?

Jin just looked at the screen. Ken’s kiss was nice and gentle so why hadn’t he felt anything? He was a moron. Ken was great. Ken was handsome. Ken was smart. Jin’s stupid brain pulled an image of RM sitting and working on his desk.

Jin: I am not seeing anyone else if that’s what you’re curious about.

Ken: No, but you like someone else. It’s ok Jin. Thanks again, I’ll see you around.

Jin felt tired and decided that this time ignoring a problem was just going to have to work. He had 5 slots open to things that could stress him out and make him worry and as it stood there was no room for dating drama.

Jin sighed and picked up his bag to go home. He just needed a good night sleep. Jin didn’t turn the lights on to his room and just reached for his bedside lamp. He brushed his teeth and got ready for bed in the dim light. There was no way that there was anything going on with him. Yoongi and Ken were both reading way too much into nothing. He was tired. He was working on his thesis that was all. Jin carefully undressed and decided to unpack his bag careful not to disrupt the little mountain of blankets that was RM.

Jin moved his pencil case and his heart stopped.

RM was sitting in the bottom of his bag his arms wrapped around his legs and his head down. “RM is that you?” Jin reached for the blanket where he had left RM and found it empty. “RM…,” Jin reached into the bag but before he could touch him RM lifted his head to look at him. Shiny tears were streaking down Rap Monster’s face and when Jin moved his hand closer to touch him, RM did something he’d never done before.

RM pulled away from him looking hurt.

**

It was near midnight when Yoongi heard a knock at his door.

“Jin this had better be an emergency or I swear I will kill you,” Yoongi opened his door and the threat that was forming on his lips died. Jin looked like shit. “Your date went that well?”

“What? No… I… I need your help,” Jin turned and walked back into his room.

Yoongi followed Jin into the room, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. It took him a minute before he heard it: little muffled sounds of crying.

“He won’t come out,” Jin pointed at the bag that was on the bed.

Yoongi bent down and took a peak. RM was sitting with his hands wrapped around his knees and his head down. “I thought he was doing better.”

“I didn’t even know he was in there. He snuck into my bag for my date,” Jin ran a hand through his hair. Damn it he was so tired he just couldn’t handle any of this. All he wanted was sleep and didn’t want to spend another 30 minutes trying to coax RM out of his bag, “I am fucken tired please help me get him out.”

Yoongi looked into the bag, “Rap Mon… hey buddy its me you ok?”

RM looked up and Yoongi saw the tears streaking down his cheeks. RM let out a heart breaking “I am Jin,” and ran towards Yoongi’s open hand. “It’s ok buddy.”

“Give him to me,” Yoongi looked up surprised at the edge in Jin’s voice. When Yoongi tried to hand RM over, Rap Monster freaked out and started to climb up Yoongi’s hand. “Shhh its ok,” Yoongi soothed. “Look, I’ll just take him ok.”

Yoongi turned around and walked out of the room, but couldn’t say who looked more upset RM who was in tears or Jin who looked like he wanted to shed some. Yoongi walked into his room and laid RM down. RM just sat on his pillow and Yoongi waited until his sobs stopped. “Are you ok,” Yoongi asked.

RM looked up at him then walked over to his night stand were there was a pen and paper. Yoongi waited then RM ripped the page and walk it over to him. _I am just a toy._ The page read.


	6. Chapter 6

7 days left 

The first time RM shut down, Jin’s cries for help pulled Yoongi out of a deep sleep. He was dreaming of being on stage. He could feel the heat from the lights and the state weighing him down. Despite the exhaustion there was such adrenaline in his body he danced and moved anyway. The red of the coat he was wearing flashed past his eyes as glowing lights dotted the dark crowd. 

“Yoongi! Yoongi help! YOONGI HELP!”

Yoongi leaped out of bed and ran towards Jin’s room pushing whatever was in his way out of his path. He stumbled and found himself sprawled on the floor. Yoongi didn’t even waste a second but pulled himself up and ran into Jin’s room. 

Jin was knelt next to the bed staring down at RM’s body. Yoongi noticed that instead of RM’s usual snore and side sleeping position, his limbs were carelessly thrown. 

“He’s not moving. I was getting ready for bed then all of a sudden he was like this.” 

Yoongi picked up RM and brought him to his face. He wasn’t breathing and his skin looked gray. 

“Jin go call tech service and see if they can help.” 

Yoongi tried not to panic and started to check RM. His hands and little feet were cold which was odd. RM tended to run a little bit on the warm side. “Come on buddy,” Yoongi was suddenly struck with that scene from 101 Dalmatians when the puppies were born. 

Yoongi set RM down and pulled the sleeves of his night shirt down over his hands. He cradled RM in his hands and started to rub. “Come on RM… Come on buddy wake up,” Yoongi chanted over and over as he rubbed his hand over RM warming him up. “Damn it! Damn it RM wake up. Shit!”

Yoongi sat down on the bed and stopped moving. RM wasn’t waking up and he didn’t know how he was going to tell Jin. Yoongi could hear Jin’s panicked voice in the living room explaining to whoever what had happened. 

Yoongi took a deep breath and pushed down the tears he felt coming on when he heard a small, “I am Jin.” 

“Hey buddy,” Yoongi brought RM to his face. His color was back and RM felt warmer in his hands. 

“I am Jin,” RM smiled still laying down in his arms and reached a hand and touched Yoongi’s nose. 

“You ok?”

“I am Jin,” RM looked around the room.

“Jin is in the other room he was calling for help. You scared him.” 

“I am Jin,” RM looked at his hand as he turned it over. 

“It’s ok don’t worry, I am sure Jin isn’t mad. Did you just take a deep nap?”

“I am Jin,” RM said as he nodded and tried to sit up only to collapse on Yoongi’s hand. 

“No, no sit still, I’ll take you to Jin.” 

5 days left  
The next few days, Yoongi lived in a constant state of panic and fear. 

The tech support system had used fancy words like malfunction, shutdown, and corrupted device to explain a process he was living with on a regular basis. Watching Jin, cry over RM’s immobile body wasn’t easy. Jin was slowly losing his mind and Yoongi couldn’t blame him for it. 

They never knew if RM would wake up again or just remain immobile forever. 

Jin had gotten it in his head that RM wasn’t getting out enough and had started to take him out. They started to date for lack of a better word whenever RM was awake. 

“Where are you guys headed to today,” Yoongi asked as he looked up from his cup of coffee.

“I think we’re going to go to the zoo,” Jin said happily. “RM likes long walks and animals so I think it will be fine. Right RM?”

“I am Jin, “ RM said happily and settled back down into Jin’s shirt pocket. 

Yoongi dropped his head on the kitchen table and tried to figure out what to do. He and Hoseok had spent the last few days trying to figure out what was happening to RM, but had come up empty handed. None of the reviews or updates said anything about malfunctions, as far as the internet was concerned these Pocket Monsters were an exceptional design with no kinks whatsoever. No one had ever had a problem with them. 

“All he can do is try to spend time with RM and say goodbye.” Hoseok’s words from two nights ago kept on circling Yoongi’s mind. 

As the days dragged on Yoongi felt the fear turn into anger. There was nothing he could do to help his friend or save RM. They couldn’t take RM to the doctor he wasn’t human so Hoseok had invited his friend over who was premed to take a look at him. Ji Sun had given RM a check-up but had concluded that his vials couldn’t tell them anything about how he was doing. 

“So he breathes, but I am not sure if he needs to breath to function.” 

“So this tells us nothing,” Yoongi had said with a bit more frustration than intended. 

“Yoongi,” Hoseok’s voice stopped Yoongi before he went any further. 

“It’s most likely a mix of both health and technical issues. If he’s both then my guess is that an issue is both,” Ji Sun set the stethoscope on the desk as RM ran around playing with it. “Since a physical examination didn’t help why don’t we try diagnosing him, give me some of his symptoms and maybe we can figure something out.” 

“He’s been sad lately.” 

“Sad,” Ji Sun looked back at RM still playing on the desk. “What makes you think he’s sad Yoongi?”

“He was upset when Jin went on a date a few days ago but I think it started before that. He has moments of playing like now but when he’s all by himself he gets teary and just looks sad I guess,” Yoongi knew he sounded crazy but it was true RM looked sad. 

“Ok sad,” Ji Sun wrote down the symptom in his chart. “Has his routine changed? Does he still do the things he used to?”

“Hmm kind of, Jin has been taking him out more to cheer him up and spend time with him.”

“Is he tired a lot? Either sleeping a lot or not sleeping at all?”

“Ahh yes, the first time he shut down. I asked him if he had gone into a deep sleep and he said yes.” 

“Any weight loss or weight gain?”

“Yes, he’s lost some weight, just a little though. His little belly was chubbier, but he hasn’t been eating much lately.” 

“I see,” Ji Sun turned to look at RM again. “I am Jin,” RM said as he tilted his head. “Does he talk?”

“Kind off, all he says is ‘I am Jin’ but he does type on the computer sometimes and write if he wants to.” 

Ji Sun rolled his chair over to RM and bent down to be at eye level. “Hey RM can I talk to you for a second buddy. Don’t worry you can still play with the stethoscope but can you type your answers for me?”

“I am Jin,” RM nodded and pulled the stethoscope with him. 

“How have you been feeling lately?”

Good. 

“That’s great,” Ji Sun said as he read the answer on the monitor. “Ok RM let’s say something bad happens or something that you’re not happy with. Do you tell Jin about it?”

No. 

“Ok well what about Yoongi he’s nice. Do you talk to Yoongi if something is wrong?” 

No.

“So you never share your feelings with anyone?”

I do. I share them with Jin. 

“Ok so you share them with Jin that’s great, but if you’re upset aren’t those feelings?”

Yes.

“So why not talk to Jin?”

I am here for Jin.

“Ok you’re here for Jin great. I am sure Jin appreciates all you do for him.” Ji Sun was startled at how bright of a smile RM gave him and tuned to look at Yoongi and Hoseok. 

“Ok well you’re here for Jin great. Now what do you like to do?”

Be with Jin. 

“Ah be with Jin that sounds like fun. Is Jin fun?”

Yes. 

“Ok and when Jin isn’t home what do you do?”

Nothing. 

“Well you like playing with the statoscope I am sure there are another things you like. Do you not like doing other things when Jin is gone?”

I lose interest. 

“Ahh so you lose interest. I see. Well sometimes when we do things alone we lose interest.” 

Yes. Doing things with Jin is more fun. 

“Ah yes, what about reading. You like reading right?”

Yes. 

“Do you read when Jin is gone? Have you tried reading?”

I get restless. 

“Ahhh you get restless… Do you get sad or tired when Jin is gone?”

Yes.

“Ah ok I see. RM can I ask you one more question?”

Yes. 

“Is it worth being awake if Jin isn’t here? Remember,” Ji Sun stopped RM before he could type. “Both Yoongi and Hoseok like you very much. You like being with them too right?”

RM hesitated and he looked from Hoseok to Yoongi and back. 

I am just a toy. I am here for Jin. 

“RM but even if you are just a toy that doesn’t mean-,” RM walked away from the keyboard and climbed his stack of books. “RM I still have a few questions to ask you.” RM sat on his stack of books and started to work ignoring everything else around him. 

“Ok RM, It was nice to meet you. I’ll head out,” Ji Sun motioned Yoongi and Hoseok to follow him to the door. 

“Look I don’t know if it’s worth anything, but if RM was human I’d say he was depressed. Also the odd change in tone about being at toy is strange. I am not an expert obviously, and my experience in this is limited to the psych evaluations we have to train for, but that’s what I think. If he’s depressed then maybe his programing or whatever doesn’t know what to do with it. Can you guys think of what made him sad?”

**  
“Hoseok I think it’s my fault,” Yoongi paced outside of the apartment. 

“No how could this be your fault,” Hoseok reached for Yoongi but he pulled away. 

“I talked to Jin. I told him he needed to go out and do other things. RM heard it Hoseok. I saw him cry but I didn’t do anything.” 

“Yoongi this isn’t your fault. We were worried about him. Jin was just spending his time with RM we … we didn’t know.” 

“I knew,” Yoongi looked at his boyfriend but kept his distance. He didn’t deserve comfort when he’d take it from someone else. “I’ve seen them together it was strange sure but it worked for them. I judged them. We judged them and RM… well that’s all RM says now.” 

“Yoongi you can’t blame yourself and what are you talking about? What does RM say now?”

“No, no it’s my fault. That night that Jin came home from his date, RM freaked out. He wouldn’t stay with Jin so I brought him back to my room. He was crying and so was Jin so I separated them. RM wrote it down for me look.” 

Hoseok took a single post-it note and unfolded it. 

I am just a toy. 

“Oh Yoongi,” Hoseok reached for Yoongi and brought him into his arms. “You didn’t know. This isn’t your fault.” 

“What are we going to do Hoseok? I don’t think RM will be ok,” Yoongi put his forehead on Hoseok’s and breathed him in. “This will destroy Jin.” 

“We’ll figure something out Yoongi.” 

4 day’s left  
“Jin why don’t you have some soup,” Yoongi sat next to Jin as he held RM in his hands. RM had shut down completely after their zoo date. Jin had run through the door panicked and in in tears. 

“I am ok. I am just going to hold him and rub him like you did. I am sure he’ll be up soon.” 

Yoongi sat the bowl of soup down next to Jin and walked back to his room. RM had been sleeping for 10 hours it was the longest he’d been gone and Jin wouldn’t move. Yoongi picked up his cellphone and tried calling again. He’d been working on the tech end since Ji Sun had checked RM but hadn’t made it past a few levels of the BigHit bureaucracy. 

“Yes, hello my name is Mr. Min Yoongi. I was just calling to see how my request is being processed?”

Can have a contract or request number I can assist you further.” 

“The reference number is 06-13-2013.”

“Thank you for that Mr. Min. Oh I see you submitted a disclosure request. Ok give me one moment and let me see if that has been approved.”

Yoongi walked towards the door of his room and peeked out to check on Jin. He hadn’t moved. Jin was still holding RM and rocking back and forth.

“Mr. Min.” 

“Yes.”

“Thank you so much for holding, Mr. Min but I am sorry to inform you that unfortunately the paper work you submitted does not meet our security clearance and we can’t release information.” 

“I see. Is there anything else I can do? I promise I wouldn’t push the issue but this is really important and an emergency.” 

“Mr. Min I am sorry but… wait what kind of emergency do you have?”

“When I submitted the paper work I was hoping to get RM’s contract number but he’s started to malfunction since then.”

“Malfunction. Can you be a bit more specific? What are the symptoms your Pocket Monster is experiencing?”

“He’s stopped working. He just shuts down. It’s started this last week or so.”

“So when he shuts down... you mean your Pocket Monster goes into sleep mode?”

“I have no idea he just kind of goes to sleep. At first it was for a few moments but its lasting longer now.” 

“Mr. Min, I am going to push your information through do you have a pen and paper?”

“Yes,” Yoongi rushed to his night table. “I am ready.”

“My name is Christian Chim. I am going to create another request and see if I can get you any help. Now Mr. Min I can’t promise anything, but perhaps they might be able to help you. I am sending this to our two programmers and I am CC’ing you in the email. Now when you receive it please fill out as much information about your Pocket Monster as you can. If there’s enough on the case they’ll contact you regarding a meeting.”

“Ok thank you. Thank you so much you don’t know how much this helps.” 

“Of course Mr. Min now again I can’t guarantee they’ll help but it might give you some answers. May I help you with anything else?”

“No that is all thanks again.” 

Yoongi hung up his phone and pulled his laptop out and answered the email. This was his chance if he could get a hold of someone then maybe RM would be ok and he could save Jin. 

3 days left  
“I like this park,” Jin walked along the edge of the pound. “It’s so pretty.” 

“It’s lovely, but not as pretty as you,” Jin blushed and turned to face the pond again. 

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course what are you curious about?”

“Why do you like going on walks so much?”

“I spent so much time unable to walk freely that being able to walk with you is the greatest thing.” Jin turned around and caught the glimpse of dimples and a bright smile. 

“RM,” Jin whispered as he shook the cobwebs of sleep away. 

“It’s ok Jin,” Yoongi touched Jin’s forehead. “You’re running a bit of a fever so sit still.” 

“Is RM,” Jin looked down but RM’s body was still limp and lifeless. 

“No, he hasn’t woken up,” Yoongi picked up a cup of water and handed it to Jin. 

“I am not-“

“Jin just drink the water ok,” Yoongi handed Jin the water and took RM from his hands and handed him a bowl of soup. “Eat.” 

“But RM-“

“I have him right here relax. I’ll sit here with him until you’re done eating.” 

“Yoongi… Yoongi you think he’ll be ok?”

Yoongi wanted to lie to his friend, but couldn’t bring himself to hurt him more. “I don’t know Jin. But I don’t think RM would want you to be sick.” 

“I am done give him too me.” 

“Jin, please, I can take care of him for a bit. Why don’t you get some rest and I’ll wake you up if-“

“Yoongi give him to me. When he wakes up is all I have,” Yoongi sat on the couch and watched as Jin walked to his room and closed the door. 

Two days left  
“Tell me one thing you like.” 

Jin laughed and turned around to see those brown eyes fixed on him. “I like strawberries,” Jin answered honestly, “but I don’t like strawberry flavored things. I know it’s strange but-“

“Strawberry flavored things have a strange after taste.” 

“Exactly,” Jin smiled. “It’s a chemically taste and ehhh I just can’t,” Jin blinked up and saw the pair of dimples flash his way. 

“Tell me one thing you don’t like,” Jin asked. 

“Being away from you,” the deep voice said softly. “I am glad that I finally found you even if it was for a short time. 

Jin rubbed a hand over his face, to wipe the cobwebs of sleep away and kept on working. He’d been up since his trip to the zoo with RM. He was researching for an answer to what was happening to RM. He’d tracked some information down. Specifically there seemed to be a significant reduction in the Pocket Monsters available for sale. 

When the company had started there were up to four sub groups the Monsta line, BTS line, Vixx line, and the Shinee line. But it seemed that now the company only produced the BTS line exclusively. Jin could assume that one of two things had happened. Either the other lines hadn’t sold as well and had been discontinued or there had been a problem resulting in the reduction of models but without more information it was hard to tell. 

There was also a distinct change in the language of the Pocket Monster mission. It seems that initially besides the technological advancements Pocket Monsters seemed to have been marketed as companions. Words in their exclusive advertisement seemed to allude to that; although, without the original visual of the advertisement and any images it was hard to make that conclusion. The newer language of their advertisement is really clear on Pocket Monsters as portable devices for work. 

Jin was missing something he could feel it, but so far he hadn’t found the smoking gun. The ‘thing’ that connected all the lose bits of information together. 

“I am Jin.” 

Jin scooped up RM into his hands. “Hey RM did you have a good nap?”

“I am Jin,” RM said happily smiling at Jin like he was everything in his world. 

RM reached out with his little hands towards Jin’s face. Jin complied and pulled RM close and let him kiss his cheek. 

One day left  
“Jin you have to go to the meeting.” 

“No, I am not leaving RM he’s sleeping again,” Jin said stubbornly. 

“Jin, your adviser set up this meeting to discuss your thesis you have to go,” Yoongi tried to reason with Jin. 

“No, I already set him down as you asked, but I am not leaving. He needs me if he wakes up,” Jin said stubbornly as he turned back to work on his computer. 

“Jin you have to go. Your adviser is going to flip the fuck out if you don’t show up.”

Yoongi stared at Jin’s back as he refused to answer. 

“Jin you have to show up for this meeting so you can defend your thesis. If you don’t, you won’t be allowed to defend it when you had planned,” Yoongi said in a calm voice. He could reason with Jin. He had to reason with Jin. “Jin… Jin please you’ll throw away the last years of school if you push this meeting back. Just go meet with your adviser and sign the paper work.” 

Jin slapped a hand down on his desk and stood up, “I don’t care Yoongi. I don’t fucken care do you understand. I don’t give a single fuck about what my advisor is going to say. I don’t fucken care about what he thinks, or about what you guys think.” Jin’s voice got louder as he yelled out every word. “I shouldn’t have given a fuck before or cared, but I did and the only thing that accomplished was to hurt RM,” Jin’s voice broke as tears threatened to spill. 

“Jin… Jin I know. I want to say I am sorry but I know it won’t do anything. You can be mad if you want but you need to go. Or at least email your adviser and let him know you can’t make it-“Yoongi stopped mid-sentence as Jin yelled and knocked the giant tower of books off of his desk. 

Yoongi prepared himself to restrain Jin and call for help when Jin ran over to the pile of books and started to throw them across the room. 

“NO, NO, No,” Jin chanted. 

Yoongi took out his cellphone and dialed Hoseok’s number when he saw Jin’s hands bleeding and holding a shard of broken pink hair. 

“Jin...”

“Leave.”

“Jin I am sorry.” 

“Yoongi leave,” Yoongi watched as Jin picked up pieces of RM from the floor. 

“Jin.”

“Just FUCKEN LEAVE!”

Yoongi did the only thing he could and walked out the door. Outside of the apartment, Yoongi sat on the ground and cried for his friends, Jin and RM.


	7. Chapter 7

Day One  
“How is he?”

Ji Sun put a finger to his lips, quietly closed Jin’s door and walked into the kitchen. “He’s calm for now. I gave him something to help him sleep and cleaned up the cuts on his hands, but he’s not ok. I don’t know the details and its ok you guys don’t have to tell me,” Ji Sun added as he saw hesitation from Hoseok and Yoongi. “But, Jin is going through something and I am assuming it has something to do with the broken RM toy.”

“It was an accident. He was sleep deprived but had a meeting at school and I pushed him.” 

“Yoongi, I took his vitals and made an assessment. Jin hasn’t been sleeping and he seems really stressed out. I am sure any small thing would have pushed him over the edge. What he needs right now is some rest, food, and time to process things, I suggest you guys reach out to his parents and let him know or talk to the graduate college they have a therapist they can refer him to.” Jin Sun walked over to Yoongi and put a hand on his shoulder, “Yoongi graduate school is intense. The stress and pressure gets to people and if Jin is having a hard time this isn’t from just one thing ok?”

“I’ll walk you out and thanks for coming,” Hoseok kissed Yoongi on the cheek and led Ji Sun towards the front door. 

“I am making some tea do you want some?”

Yoongi looked up and nodded. “What do we do Hoseok? Do we call Jin’s parents?”

“Hmm, I’ve been thinking about that and as dire as I think the situation is I am not sure how helpful it will be. Why don’t we keep an eye on him and take it day by day? I doubt forcing Jin to do anything will yield the results we want.” 

“What do you think about reaching out to Professor Bang? Jin and him are really close.” 

“Oh that might work, but isn’t he on sabbatical?”

“I think he’s still in town though. I’ll send him an email just to see where he is and depending on how Jin is doing we’ll talk to him.”

Hoseok walked over with two mugs of tea and set one down in front of Yoongi. 

“You’re doing the best you can,” Hoseok cupped the side of Yoongi’s cheek. “You can’t do anything more than that.” 

Yoongi turned towards Hoseok’s hand and gave himself a moment. He didn’t know what he’d do without his hope and prayed Hobi was right. 

***  
Day Two  
“Jin… Jin wake up.” 

Jin opened his eyes and noticed how bright his room was. Had he overslept? His limbs felt heavy and his head felt hallow. He’d probably overdone it with the thesis work and finally snapped. Jin opened his mouth to ask Yoongi where RM was when he remember what had happened.

“I broke him didn’t I?”

Yoongi didn’t say anything and simply nodded. 

“Ji Sun came to check on me. He gave something to help me sleep didn’t he?”

“Yes.” 

“I cut my hand putting RM back together didn’t I?”

“Yes,” Yoongi answered again. 

“Yoongi,” tears started to run down Jin’s cheeks. “What do I do now?”

“Here drink some water,” Yoongi sat on the bed and gathered Jin to him putting a glass of water to his lips. “Shhh,” Yoongi patted Jin’s back gently, “get some more rest.” 

Yoongi stayed with Jin until his sobs subsided. “It doesn’t hurt as much when I sleep,” Jin said softly. “Do you think that’s why RM slept so much?”

Before Yoongi could formulate an answer, Jin’s breathing evened out and he slept again. 

***  
Day Three  
Jin woke up disoriented and covered in sweat. His heart was racing and he could feel it pound in his ears. 

“Shhhh shhhh its ok Jin, you’re safe,” Hoseok’s soothing words calmed Jin down. “You have a little bit of a fever does your head hurt? Are you feeling ok?”

“I… I am ok,” Jin’s throat felt hoarse. “Thirsty.” 

“Here,” Hoseok lifted a glass to Jin’s lips and let a small trickle of water through his lips. 

“What happened,” Jin asked. His fingers hurt and felt cramped.

Hoseok didn’t say anything and avoided his gaze. Jin looked down at his hands and saw the tape and glue that patched RM’s little body together along with the gaze and Band-Aid’s that wrapped around his fingers. 

“Oh… I remember now,” Jin nestled back into bed. 

“Are you hungry? I can make you some soup.” 

“No,” Jin answered as he hugged RM closer to his chest. “I am really tired.” 

“Ok, here take some Tylenol and have a bit more water.” 

Jin let Hoseok hand him the two Tylenol and took a long drink of water. 

“I dreamt about RM.” 

“Oh,” Hoseok froze in the middle of the room and looked back at Jin. He was tucked into the blankets with is eyes closed. 

“I dreamt he wasn’t broken. I dreamt he was big.” 

“Get some sleep Jin, you’ll feel better soon. I’ll make you some soup so you can eat something when you get up.” 

“He was taller than me. Isn’t that weird,” Jin’s voice sounded sleepy and distant. “Why would he be taller than me?”

***  
Day Four  
“Put your head back so I can wash your hair.” 

Yoongi set a wet cloth over Jin’s eyes to protect it from the water and soap. He methodically wet Jin’s hair and started to lather it. 

Jin stiffened under Yoongi’s hands, “that’s RM’s shampoo.” 

Yoongi looked at the Ryan Bear bottle of shampoo. “Oh.” 

“He liked… likes Ryan Bear.” 

“I see,” Yoongi said as he hurried to rinse the shampoo out of Jin’s hair. “I am going to scrub you,” Yoongi started to lather the luffa, “your hands.” 

Jin said forced himself to move and give Yoongi his back. “I keep on dreaming about him.” 

Yoongi’s hand stilled on his back but after a few seconds started to scrub again. 

“I dream about him but he won’t talk to me.”

Yoongi continued to work gently helping Jin bathe. Jin still clutch to the patched up RM and didn’t try to take him away. Yoongi combed Jin’s hair and helped him get dressed. 

“Do you want to sit in the living room? Hoseok left some food and we can watch some TV.”

“No,” Jin stared down at the RM figurine still in his hands. “I am really tired.” 

“Ok let’s get you back to bed,” Yoongi said with a smile. He needed to pretend everything was ok for Jin maybe if he did that everything would be ok.

***  
Day Five  
“Professor Bang thank you so much for coming we really appreciate it,” Hoseok said as he bowed next to Yoongi. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Yes, some water if you have it,” Professor Bang walked into the kitchen and took a seat. “How long as Jin been like this?”

“It’s been about four to five days but a week before that Jin had stopped sleeping,” Yoongi answered quickly. 

“I see,” Professor Bang took a drink of water and sat in silence. “In all the time I’ve known Jin he really hasn’t changed at all.”

“Professor?” 

“He’s still the same. Jin has always been very sensible,” Professor Bang laughed as Hoseok and Yoongi gave him a confused look. “Jin adapts to everything. He’s playful when there is fun to be had. He’s mature and understanding when he needs to be. Jin is confident but not narcissistic which would be easy for him. He’s ambitious but not greedy and he knows what he wants. He doesn’t boast to get things. It makes sense to me that Jin would be heartbroken in a very practical and classical way.” 

“Professor what can we do?”

“Jin isn’t someone you push or demand from. Jin needs to figure out a way to pull himself out. Maybe he wants answers or needs to find another reason to be himself again, I suggest you give him some time,” Professor Bang set the glass down and started to get his things together. “You’ll let me know how he’s doing right?”

“Yes, Professor,” Yoongi followed Professor Bang to the door. 

“I’ll talk to his adviser about the thesis and get him some wiggle room. Shoot me an email in a few days and let me know how he’s doing. Now guys,” Professor Bang patted Yoongi and Hoseok on the shoulder, “Jin believes in you guys even if he’s going through a hard time. Just believe in him and look out for him. He’ll be ok.” 

***  
Day Six  
“Jin, all along, I’ve loved only you. I came for you but I am sorry it took me so long to get here. I thought if I could just be by your side it would be enough. I am sorry I think there was something wrong with my settings,” Rap Monster smiled and his dimples flashed but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I have to go Jin. I can’t stay anymore. I am sorry I couldn’t help you with the rest of your thesis but I am sure it will be great.” 

“What are you talking about? You can’t leave,” Jin wanted to reach out he wanted to do something, but his traitorous heart froze and betrayed him. 

“Don’t forget me ok,” Rap Monster smiled as a few tears escaped his eyes. “Just don’t forget me.” 

“Don’t you fucken leave… Where are you going,” Jin asked even as bits of Rap Monster started to fade from his mind. “I’ll forget you if you leave,” Jin threatened. “If you leave I swear I’ll forget about you. I’ll live by all by myself and you know Yoongi will be annoyed because he’ll worry about me.” Jin felt tears run down his cheeks but couldn’t stop them from falling,” I’ll forget you if you leave,” he said again but with less power in his voice. 

Rap Monster smiled softly, “that’s probably better. If it hurts you to think about me then ignore my request. You have Ken. He’ll protect you so I am not worried. He’ll be good to you. He’ll take care of you.” 

Jin watched as Rap Monster lifted a hand to his cheek even as most of him disappeared, “good bye Jin.” 

Jin woke up with tears running down his face and the patched Rap Monster figuring clutched to his heart. “How could you leave me? How could you leave me all on my own,” Jin whispered as he lifted the cold and lifeless figurine to his lips. “You can’t leave,” Jin said again as a fresh wave of tears ran down his cheeks. “I didn’t get to tell you I love you. You can’t leave.” 

Jin sat in his bed and let the week of misery fall over him because he’d lost the love of his life and he had no one to blame but himself. 

“Jin you need to get up,” Yoongi knelt on the side of Jin’s bed. “Jin… Jin please you have to get up.” 

Don’t worry RM… as long as I stay here we’ll be together. Jin closed his eyes again and let sleep take him. 

Hoseok walked forward and sat on the bed laying a hand on Jin’s shoulder, “Jin come on. Jin please at least have some water.” 

Don’t worry RM, I won’t leave you like before. I’ll stay right here with you. 

“I am going to get him water,” Hoseok said as he got up and walked out of the room. 

“Jin… Jin,” Yoongi tried again. “Don’t be so hard on yourself… This isn’t your fault.” 

Jin rolled on to his back and opened his eyes with the figurine still clutched in his hands.

“Jin we pushed you,” Yoongi’s voice shook. “I pushed you,” he whispered. “We didn’t understand and had no place to judge. Jin I am sorry but you still have me, Hobi and your parents. Jin they’ll be worried if something happens to you.” 

“Close the door behind you,” Jin’s voice was clear as he turned to sink deeper into the blankets. 

“Jin… Jin please. You can’t keep laying there,” Yoongi stood up prepared to pick up Jin and drag him out by force if necessary. “You were doing much better what happened?”

“I promised him,” Jin’s voice was strong. “I promised him I’d stay with him. I promised him we’d be together so he could look at only me. I couldn’t keep my promise when RM was alive, but I will now. Close the door behind you.” 

**  
Day Seven  
“Thank you for meeting with me,” Yoongi extended his hand and greeted the surprisingly young techs. 

“I am Kim Taehyung and this is Jeon Jungkook.” 

“Mr. Min how can we help you,” the younger of the two said seriously. 

“First thank you again for meeting with me,” Yoongi had been ruthless in his pursuit for a meeting to try to get some answers. His friend was slowly dying and he was going to do everything in his power to stop it.

“No problem,” Taehyung smiled brightly. “It’s actually a bit weird. We never have outside meetings. You must have pulled some strings Mr. Min. But before my sour faced friend has embolism, what can we help you with.” 

“I did send the subject of my inquiry. Mr. Kim Seokjin and his Pocket Monster.” 

“Yes, I have the reports of the phone and email conversations Mr. Kim has made to our customer service representatives,” Jungkook set down a stack of papers. “As we told Mr. Kim without the specific contract number we are limited in the information we can extract.” 

“Yes,” Yoongi reached for the stack of papers and tried not let the dread lingering around his heart. He needed to find answers. Jin wouldn’t last much longer.

“With that said,” Yoongi looked up, “we were able to back track a bit of information based off of the details you gave us. First, Mr. Kim should not have been able to purchase the Pocket Monster in the comic book store. It is impossible for this to happen.” 

“We have a secure system and once a Pocket Monster is activated it sends us a report. We should have been able to locate and retrieve him when Rumch Randa was illegally sold,” Jungkook added. 

“But to be honest with you Mr. Min, we were told just to give you these reports and no other information,” Taehyung said solemnly. 

“I understand and I appreciate your time-“

“But, we came because we have questions about the model. I see from the report you submitted that Rumch Randa never verbalized is that correct?”

“No, he talks,” Yoongi answered. “He says ‘I am Jin’ my roommate his owner told me that after he introduced himself to RM that’s all he would say.” 

Yoongi caught a look passing between the two techs as the younger started to take notes. 

“And your roommate was the primary user of the model,” Taehyung asked. 

“Yes, RM was always with Jin,” Yoongi shifted in his chair. 

“Ok, and do you know anything about the activation process? Did Mr. Kim call in? Did he do a manual activation?” 

“Yes, Seokjin said he walked into the comic book store because he saw RM inside of the little box. Seokjin panicked because the little guy was alive.” 

“Ahh… Jungkook,” Taehyung set his pen down and looked over at his partner. 

“So, the model was activated when Mr. Kim bought him,” Yoongi noted the change in tone and both techs seems so serious. 

“Jungkook-“

“So, Mr. Kim didn’t active the model,” Jungkook continued unfazed. 

“Then no, I suppose not,” Yoongi answered feeling uncomfortable with how they called RM ‘the model.’

“Can you tell us when the model started to malfunction,” Jungkook asked again. 

“His name is RM,” Yoongi answered and both techs looked up. 

“We’re sorry Mr. Min. We just want to help as much as we can. RM when did he start to ‘act out’,” Taehyung amended. 

“We’ll I guess if I had to give it a day, I would say when he snuck out in Seokjin’s bag.” 

“The mod-… I mean RM got into Mr. Kim’s bag without orders?”

“Yes, Seokjin told him to stay home he had something to do at school, but RM snuck into his bag. He bit someone too.” 

“He-…. He bit someone,” Taehyung said composed even as interest glimmered in his eyes. 

“Yes, I guess Ken, that is Seokjin’s friend, tried to get him to go to lunch and RM bit him,” Yoongi explained. Dear god he’s never spoken so much in his life. 

“Mr. Min if you could excuse us for a second,” Taehyung took the Jungkook by the arm and pulled him off to the side. 

Yoongi tried not to panic but this definitely wasn’t a good sign. 

“Sorry about that Mr. Min,” Taehyung smiled again. “But I am going to ask you to intrude in your friend’s life for a second.” 

“Sure anything,” Yoongi waited. 

“RM fell in love with Mr. Kim didn’t he?” 

“I,” Yoongi said nothing else. No one had ever said it out lout but it was the truth. RM loved Jin. Although that wasn’t accurate, it was as the tech had phrased it: RM was in love with Jin. “Yes,” Yoongi answered. “I think so. RM… I was worried about Seokjin. He was spending all his time with RM and I told him he needed to have normal interactions not with a ‘toy’ you know. RM got sick after that. He got better for a while,” Yoongi smiled. “But when Seokjin started to date, RM… well he stopped moving.” 

“Your friend. He loved him too didn’t he,” Taehyung asked softly 

“I think so. He’s been really depressed and I just thought if… IF I could find some information he might come back,” Yoongi rubbed his hands over his face. He was just so tired. 

“We can’t tell you this officially Mr. Min and from this point on this conversation never happened,” Jungkook interrupted. “Do you know the original function of a Pocket Monster?”

“They’re mobile assistants like a computer,” Yoongi said simply. 

“Well, yes and no. Pocket Monsters the first generation were built as companions. They were tiny mobile friends. The design and encrypting was completely unique. They were intuitive, self-learning, aware, they were amazing,” Jungkook smiled for the first time. 

“But, they were too perfect of a design,” Taehyung put in. “Their whole lives revolved around their owner and the creators believed that if they were to become the most efficient model they needed to be. But that coupled with the bond they created to their owner made them… difficult.” 

“Some owners didn’t return the bond and so they started to malfunction,” Jungkook explained. “Some acted out destroying materials and data. Some just shut down completely and there was nothing we could do to save them. Some… well some returned to us to be reprogramed, but when we tried we lost all of them.” 

“We discontinued dozens of independent models. It was happening everywhere. We only managed to save seven: V, Chim Chim, Suga, Jhope, Kookie, Jin and Runch Randa. Some models returned for programing and we thought if we could strip the data and restart them we could save them, but none did. Even after we told them it wasn’t working they kept on coming back to us,” Jungkook looked down at his paperwork. 

“But despite the malfunction, we carried on,” Taehyung explained. “We modified and created a new batch in hopes of saving the work we had put in. We’ve had success since then although our mission has changed. Pocket Monsters are now mobile assistants not companions. We haven’t had any of our models malfunction since the revamp not a single Runch Randa has acted up and as you can imagine we’re very sad to hear that this might be happening again. We’re going to have to do a complete recall of the series and discontinue it forever. Anyway, did you bring the model with you?”

“No, I couldn’t take him from Seokjin… after he broke Seokjin won’t let him go,” Yoongi looked at both techs they’re heads were tilted and they were giving him an odd look. 

“By broke you mean he shut down Mr. Min,” Taehyung asked. 

“Well yes, he shut down once then for a few days-“

“Oh that’s a relief, he’s just shut down completely. Ok well, if you can get the model to us then we’ll-“ 

“He’s broken though,” Yoongi said plainly, “Seokjin didn’t know RM was on his desk and he knocked him over, he broke.” 

“That’s not possible,” Taehyung’s eyes went wide. “Pocket Monsters are made of a poly blend, they don’t break or shatter.” 

“He’s broken though. Seokjin glued him back together.” 

“Pull up the stats Jungkook. Give me the creation date.” There was quick movement from the two techs. Laptops were pulled-out, cell phones were dialed and Yoongi just sat in the whirlwind of movement. 

“The creation date is September 14th,” Jungkook called out. 

“Jimin, did you hear that? September 14th Runch Randa. Yes, work through the backlog I need an origin on that specific model. I don’t care how you do it but you need to get the origin for me now.” 

“Taehyung, it’s an error message. The origin date doesn’t exist,” Jungkook pulled the lap and pointed at something on the screen.” 

Taehyung’s lips pressed together, “Jimin what do you have for me?” 

Jungkook and Yoongi waited in silence and just looked on as Taehyung ended the call. 

“It’s Namjoon,” Taehyung’s eyes were dazed and glossed over. “We’ve finally found Namjoon.” 

**  
“Mr. Min follow us this way please.” 

Yoongi walked along a narrow hallway. “This is our main base of operations. We have several satellite branches, but this one is responsible for all the data configuring of our Pocket Monsters,” Taehyung explained. “Just right this way.” 

Yoongi walked into a room full of beeping machines and a single desk with an inappropriate number of monitors. There was a young short haired guy with glasses typing away. 

“What do you have for us Jimin,” Jungkook walked over and placed his hands on Jimin’s shoulders. 

“I have things, but I find it hard to believe that after so long he’s reemerged. It’s almost impossible,” Jimin looked up. “Hey Mr. Min, I am assuming?” 

“Yes, hello,” Yoongi answered. 

“Pull up Namjoon’s profile we need visual confirmation before we go forward,” Taehyung loosened his tie and took a chair sitting next to Jimin and pulling up several windows. 

“Mr. Min this is a picture of our Runch Randa model,” Jimin pointed at the monitor. 

Yoongi leaned over and looked at the picture. It looked like RM. He had the shockingly bright pink hair and contrasting black outfit, but there was something off about the face in the picture. “It looks like RM, but…” 

“There’s something off,” Jimin supplied. Yoongi nodded. 

“This is Namjoon,” Jimin opened another window. 

Yoongi recognized RM right away. His simile was so big that his dimples were flashing towards the camera, and his eyes were sparkling. “That’s RM,” Yoongi leaned closer to look at the computer screen. 

“RM,” Jimin asked in a whisper. 

“Remember Namjoon used to use that handle when we programed the other six models: Rap Monster.” 

Yoongi didn’t turn around. It made no sense, what had happened? How had RM come into Jin’s life? 

“So Namjoon has come back then?” 

Yoongi turned to face the three techs. “No,” Yoongi answered. 

“What do you mean no? You can’t keep him. Do you know how expensive he was to create? Do you know how many people are still searching-,” Taehyung lifted a hand and Jimin stopped talking. 

“We should sit down. Mr. Min, we can’t help you, but maybe the best thing we can do for your friend is help you explain.”

**  
“We were part of the tech team that was put together for this project. Our CEO has always been fascinated with Chobits and figured that in this century we might not be able to create a full functioning computer but perhaps something smaller. Our initial prototype was a figuring our CEO brought in,” Taehyung explained. “We complained. Jungkook argued that the material it was made from was not functional since as you know it shatters. We also didn’t see the point in the level of detail he had.” 

“It had dimples,” Jimin added. “Even in a resting state you could see every detail of his face. His chubby cheeks, his full lips, his proportions, it was all just to detailed if we just wanted a model to prove this could work.” 

“Exactly,” Taehyung nodded in agreement, “but we’re tech monkeys so if that’s the model then that’s what we needed to work on. We tried everything to get him to work but we failed. Jungkook invented a new coding system and we finally got signs of activity but that was as far as it went. Jungkook can you explain here?”

“We got our prototype to be self-aware. Imagine your computer when it’s on sleep mode, it’s still running making backups of whatever document or pages you have open right? Even in a state of sleep or hibernation, it’s still aware. We got our prototype to that state, but unlike the computer you move the mouse or type on the keyboard to wake up. We couldn’t wake him up. We didn’t know how. We didn’t know how to make his mind and body connect. We tried a wide range of stimulus but nothing really seemed to work. Then one day, he just woke up. We came into the work room and he was sitting up still connected to everything and smiling waiting for us to greet him,” Jungkook smiled at the memory. 

“He had named himself as well,” Taehyung continued. “His name was Namjoon. We considered it later and it means talented or capable and he was both. Our initial testing on him was off the charts he exceeded our wildest dreams. With a functioning model, we carried on and he assisted us in creating the other six models that survived the malfunctioning.”

“We put too much of Namjoon in them,” Jungkook looked down at the cup of coffee in his hands. “We tried to make them too aware we tried to make them too human.” 

“We didn’t,” Taehyung answered annoyed like this was a constant discussion. “We didn’t try to make them human. We used the program we created. The interface was interactive and Namjoon wasn’t human!” 

“Wasn’t he,” Jimin asked. 

“That’s enough, we’re not going to have this discussion again,” Taehyung crushed his empty cup in his hand. “I am sorry Mr. Min as you can see this was also very hard for us. We had reached new levels of programing and Namjoon was our origin model. When we launched the models, we celebrated and Namjoon with us as well, and when the first model malfunctioned Namjoon stayed with him.”

“Which one malfunctioned first was it a Runch Randa one,” Yoongi asked. 

“No, no it wasn’t, while that one gave us the most trouble it wasn’t Runch Randa. It was Jin,” Taehyung explained. “Jin was a different style of Pocket Monster. He was our version of a Ken doll. His proportions followed the aesthetics of the time, but many of our customers opted for a cute personality. We were able to encode humor in him. He was the most amenable to such a change.” 

“Jin’s owner started to log in changes in him. Changes of mood which were strange, he was the most stable of our models. Even in the testing phase we never had an issue with him, we all worked and created an update and for some time it seemed to work. Until he shut down,” Taehyung looked around the office. “He just stopped moving. He was still alert when we brought him in he still responded to stimulus but we couldn’t get him to function. He just lay there in sleep mode.” 

“We tried to talk to him to figure out what was wrong but he wouldn't talk to us. All of our tech reports also came back negative. As far as we were concerned there was nothing wrong with him there was no reason why Jin was malfunctioning,” Jimin got up and pulled a file out. He walked over and handed it to Yoongi. “Jin.. the specific model Blonde Jin lasted the longest. He was the first to malfunction but one of the last to shut down completely.” 

“Namjoon stayed with him. Well he stayed with all of them as they started to shut down,” Jungkook said as Yoongi looked through the file handed to him. “It was a compatibility issue. The Pocket Monsters adjusted too well to their owners and we believed that sudden changes in routine caused the problem. This resulted in something akin to being heartbroken. But this was something we hadn’t programed for and couldn’t reprogram.”

“Namjoon continued to work alongside us even as we knew it was futile. How do you encode heartbreak? How do you go in and remove it? We couldn’t save the first generation so we worked on a less intuitive Pocket Monster. Namjoon as our origin model was our first attempt at an update. He lost some speech skills but he would still type and communicate with us,” Jungkook explained. “The update couldn’t save the models that had been activated, but we were able to update the inactive models. We reprogramed with new specs tested everything and relaunched as soon as possible. We had customers waiting for their replacements and we couldn’t delay.” 

“And in the chaos of saving our back stock, and dealing with the malfunctioning models, we didn’t notice that Namjoon was acting strange,” Jimin added. “He was more pensive than usual but we assumed that the reduced speech skill was the reason for his silence. Then one day we came in and he was gone. This is all he left behind,” Jimin handed Yoongi another piece of paper. 

When I opened my eyes one day, I wished I was dead.  
I wished someone would kill me  
In this noisy silence  
I’m living to understand the world  
By why hasn’t this world tried to understand me?  
No, its lacking by exactly half  
It’s trying to hurt me

I miss me  
I wish me  
Wish I could choose me 

“We tried researching the lyrics but they aren’t part of a poem or song of any kind. As you can see the words are incomplete,” Jungkook pointed at the paper. “We also tried looking for him with his location device, but its been deactivated. We don’t know if it was intentional or if the update messed with more of his settings.”

Yoongi looked down at the page and couldn’t help but feel sadness for the person who had written them. He shifted slightly in his chair and a single page fell from the folder. Yoongi bent down to pick it up and turned it over. A smiling face looked back at him, with a straight nose and a full lush lips. By anyone’s estimation this face was beautiful and perfect, the bright crop of hair that grazed the forehead was neatly styled and attractive. Tears stung Yoongi’s eyes as he struggled to breath. 

“That’s Jin,” Taehyung said casually. 

“I know,” Yoongi heard himself say as tears fell from his eyes. “This looks exactly like my friend Seokjin.” 

**  
Yoongi pinched the bridge of his nose as he sat in the car. He’d learned a lot but somehow hadn’t gotten the answers he’d hoped for to help Jin. 

“I am sorry we couldn’t give you more answers Mr. Min.” 

Yoongi turned to look at Jimin who was driving him back to the café he’d met the other two techs at. “No, I got answers. I am just not sure how much they’ll help my friend.” 

Silence filled the car as Yoongi contemplated what to do. He would have to tell Hoseok what happened but he wasn’t even quite sure where to start. 

“Thank you,” Yoongi said already thinking about Hoseok as he got out of the car. 

“Mr. Min,” Yoongi turned around and saw the young tech standing by the car with his door open. 

“My colleagues will disagree with me and I am sure you caught some of the tension, but I believe in Namjoon. He was too perfect. He was too real to have been created by us,” Jimin pushed his hair back from his face. “We don’t even know the limits of what he was able to do. You can program a lot Mr. Min, but we couldn’t have programed so much of him. I don’t think he left suddenly. After that specific Jin model shut down, Namjoon left,” Jimin pointed at the folder still in Yoongi’s hand. “I think… Namjoon couldn’t save THAT Jin. He stayed by his side but it wasn’t enough. He tried. We tried to save them all but we couldn’t. I think Namjoon went to find a Jin he could save. I think he went to find a Jin where just being by his side was enough. A Jin that wouldn’t break,” Jimin smiled, “I hope you can help your friend. Good bye, Mr. Min.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, thanks for keeping in there. I had two chapters of sad but it will be happy after this.


	8. Chapter 8

Yoongi pulled his cellphone out and dialed, “Hobi, it’s me. I am on my way home.” 

“Sounds good, I just put Jin down to sleep again. I got him to eat a bit of soup but he wouldn’t eat more than that. Did you have any luck with those programmers? You were gone quite a long time.” 

Yoongi let his head fall on the steering wheel,” yes, and no. I’ll tell you when I get home. Oh wait you have practice tonight don’t you?”

“I do, but don’t worry. I can wait for you if you need me.”

“No, no, I am on my way,” Yoongi buckled his seatbelt and started the car. “I am about ten minutes away so go to practice and I’ll fill you in. Besides you have that showcase coming up so make sure you work hard ok?”

Hoseok’s laughter ran through the phone, “I always find it amazing when you tell me to work hard. I mean it’s you who spends about ninety present of your free time trying to nap. But hey, are you sure? I can call them and tell them I had an emergency come up. I can stay and help.” 

“No, Hobi don’t do that. Go to practice, it will be good… and Hey.”

“Yes…” 

“Thanks for helping, I don’t think I could have taken care of Jin alone. I don’t know if I would have survived,” Yoongi confessed. “I love you Hoseok.”

“I love you too and of course. I wasn’t going to leave you guys.”

“Listen,” Yoongi cleared this throat, “why don’t you go home and get some rest after practice. I can look after Jin tonight.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t mind helping.” 

“I know and thanks again for helping, but you’ve been with us for a week straight. I… my place isn’t as comfortable as yours. Go to your fluffy bed, to your pillows, your shower, and your stuff, I know it’s not the same as being in your own home. Jin and I will be fine.” 

“Ok and I love you. I’ll go but promise me you’ll call me if you need me?”

“I promise. I love you and thanks.” 

**  
Yoongi walked into his apartment and prepared himself to talk to Jin. He looked around the apartment and it felt lifeless. 

The flowers that Jin brought home from running errands on Friday were missing. The candles that Jin changed every Tuesday after watching his dramas weren’t fresh. The radio in the kitchen wasn’t playing Jin’s latest kpop playlist and the smell of delicious food wasn’t wafting into the apartment. 

Yoongi walked into his room and changed his shirt hoping that a change will help him come up with a plan. He decided that a practical approach might be the best way to clear his head so he was going to clean. Yoongi considered and decided the kitchen was the best place to start. 

The kitchen was Jin’s space. 

Even in all the time that they’d been roommates and the countless packets of ramen Yoongi had prepared, the kitchen was Jin’s. It looked like Jin, and it had been decorated by Jin. Two offensively pink aprons stared back at Yoongi from the Princes Peach hook Jin had bought when they had moved in. Yoongi pulled the slightly less pink one over his head and reached under the sink for cleaning supplies. Under the sink bright green piping stared back at him along with the figurines of Mario, Bowser, and Toad. The Mario Bros themed kitchen was definitely a conversation piece even if no one ever really came to visit them. Yoongi worked methodically wiping down the tile and mushroom stools. After twenty minutes, Yoongi put his hands on his hips and admired his work. He’d done pretty-well, not Jin style clean, but it would have to do. Yoongi put the cleaning supplies away and moved on to the living room. 

He started with his desk sorting through stacks of paperwork. He made three piles: one to shred and throw away, two paperwork directly related to his work, and the third were student papers he needed to keep for a year. Yoongi didn’t particularly like this rule but all teaching assistants had to keep student paperwork for a year which ultimately meant he and Jin had more than their fair share of paperwork. Satisfied with his progress, Yoongi moved on to Jin’s desk. 

Yoongi knelt-down next to the pile of books that Jin had knocked over and started to arrange them one by one. He felt strange touching Jin’s desk and knew he was committing a cardinal sin by cleaning. Yoongi remembered Professor Oh telling him and Jin that her husband had tried to do something nice by helping her clean her desk. “I wanted to rip my hair out. I was so pissed.” Yoongi smiled at the memory. Professor Oh was tiny but her eyes had gone wild at the memory. “He was just trying to be nice and I knew that,” she explained, “but I have a specific way of organizing material and he had moved everything. If you two are going to be roommates I have one piece of advice separate desk/work areas. Trust me, the further you guys get along in this program the more finicky you guys will get about how you work.” Jin and he had been committed to living together and had squeeze two full size desks into their living room. Their apartment now looked like a permanent study area instead of a real living room but it worked for them. Yoongi checked under the desk and saw another book lodged underneath. He flattened himself on the floor and reached until he wrapped his fingers around it. 

Yoongi almost broke down when he realized that what he pulled from underneath the desk wasn’t a book but RM’s notebook. 

Yoongi turned the notebook in his hand and laughed. RM had gone crazy on the back of the notebook and every inch of the cover was wrapped with Ryan Bear stickers. Yoongi remembered how much Jin had tried to negotiate the stickers away from RM but had failed. 

“RM just one sticker ok… RM just one more do you hear me? Don’t use them all.” 

RM had wiggled excitedly walking back and forth selecting stickers and sticking them on the notebook. 

“RM don’t you put another sticker on that notebook,” Jin threatened. 

“My money is on RM.” 

“Yoongi shut up. RM that’s enough stickers for you. RM,” Jin put his hands on his hip and stared down at RM. 

Yoongi burst out laughing when RM slowly peeled another sticker from the page and placed it on his notebook. It had been an epic showdown. 

“Oh RM,” Yoongi sighed and patted the book,” you waited a long time to find Jin didn’t you? I am sure it was hard to be by yourself, but you saved all the new ones didn’t you? Yes you did. You saved all those Pocket Monsters.”

Yoongi finished cleaning the living room and went back into the kitchen to make ramen. Nothing could cure a broken heart better than ramen. 

**  
Yoongi took a deep breath and walked into Jin’s room. 

“Jin… Jin wake up,” Yoongi nudged Jin’s shoulder. “Jin.. Jin wake up.” 

Jin opened his eyes and rolled on his back, “Yoongi… I… I am awake.” 

“Come on dude, let’s go to the living room and eat some food.” 

“I am not hungry,” Jin pulled the blanket over his shoulder, closed his eyes and held RM to his chest. 

“No Jin, get up,” Yoongi patted Jin on the back. 

“I don’t want really want to talk Yoongi.” 

“Great, I don’t want to hear you talk either. I am going to talk so get your fucken ass up.” Yoongi waited and counted to ten. When Jin didn’t move, Yoongi took a corner of the blanket and pulled it off of Jin. 

“Come on worldwide handsome. I’ll be in the living room don’t make me come back to get you,” Yoongi threatened as he walked out the door. 

Jin rolled on his back and watched as Yoongi left his room. He knew that if he didn’t follow Yoongi would deliver on his threat and come back for him. Jin held on to RM and got out of bed. He felt exhausted and had a throbbing headache, but Yoongi’s temper still swayed Jin. 

“Sit,” Yoongi pointed at the small couch. “Here, eat before the noodles go soggy,” Yoongi handed Jin a bowl of ramen. 

“Yoongi-“

“Shut up and eat Jin,” Yoongi started to eat and waited until Jin took the first bite. 

Yoongi finished his food and reached over to pick up RM’s figurine. “Yoongi don’t-“

Yoongi squinted at Jin and got him to be quiet. “He was the first Pocket Monster ever made.” Yoongi turned the patched-up RM figurine in his hands. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Jin, just shut up and let me finish,” Yoongi pushed a file towards Jin. “His name was Namjoon,” Yoongi continued, “and he came for you.” 

Jin opened the file and a picture of RM’s smiling face looked back at him. 

**  
“I have one more thing for you,” Yoongi handed RM’s notebook to Jin. “I know it doesn’t fix things Jin. I know this is all a fucked-up mess of a situation, but now you know. It was the least I could do. I wanted to find some answers for you.” 

Yoongi picked up their bowls and started to head towards the kitchen. “Yoongi.” 

Yoongi turned to see his friend sitting on the couch. Jin was pale. His skin lacked the usual healthy glow it contained. His lips were also chapped and dry. Jin’s cheeks had also lost a bit of their plumpness. He’d lost some weight due to the weeks of stress he’d endured. Jin’s usually rich brown hair also looked dull and flat against his head. “Yes, Jin.” 

“Yoongi, how do go on when it hurts to breath. It hurts to move. It hurts to just be.” 

Yoongi set the bowls down on the counter and walked back to Jin. 

“You wake up in the morning. You get out of bed. You brush your teeth. You take a shower. You put on clothes. You go to class and you get your shit done. You live Jin,” Yoongi squatted to look directly into Jin’s eyes,” and do you know why you do this?”

Jin shook his head as a few tears started to fall from his eyes. 

“You do this because you’re still breathing Jin. You live because your heart is still beating. That’s what living entails Jin, it doesn’t always feel great. You won’t always smile or feel amazing but if you get up it will eventually get better. You can pretend to live Jin there are plenty of people who just get by or you can actually live because unlike RM,” Yoongi put RM back into Jin’s hands,” you have a pulse, you have a chance, you have things to live for. He saw so much sadness Jin. He saw all of those Pocket Monsters die and couldn’t save them, but he came to look for you. You guys went out, you guys had fun, you guys lived. Live Jin.” Yoongi wrapped Jin’s fingers around RM’s figurine and walked into the kitchen.


	9. Chapter 9

“Thanks for driving me.” 

“Of course, I am meeting Yoongi for lunch so it’s no problem. What time is your defense?”

“What?” Jin turned his attention to Hoseok and tried to suppress the queasiness that was climbing up his throat. “Oh, it’s at 1:30 but I wanted to get there early to prep.” 

“That sounds like a good plan.” 

“Shit, Hoseok what if I fuck it up?”

“Oh Jin, you’re going to be great! You wrote the thesis. They’re going to ask you questions but they’re just meant to help you. Remember your professors are interested in the work you’re doing.”

“Right,” Jin responded but didn’t actually believe it. What if Dr. Oh selected that moment to find the fundamental flaw in his thesis? What if Professor Bang pointed out a theory he should have included and completely missed? Jin was so nervous he wasn’t sure if he needed to pee, throw up or cry. It was going to be an awful two hours if he couldn’t get it together. 

“They read your chapters Jin. If they didn’t think you were ready they wouldn’t let you defend.” 

“I know. I know but that doesn’t make this any less frightening.” 

Hoseok considered and came up with a quick plan, “here connect the aux cable.” 

Jin did as Hoseok asked and when the first few notes of the song played he started to laugh. “Oh yeah,” Hoseok yelled out. Hoseok rolled down the windows to the car and filled it with very loud whoops. “Come on man don’t leave me hanging. Sing along” 

Rising up, back on the street  
Did my time, took my chances  
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet  
Just a man and his will to survive

“That’s you Jin…. JUST YOU AND YOUR WILL TO SURIVE,” Hoseok yelled out over the speaker. 

So many times it happens too fast  
You trade your passion for glory  
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past  
You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the tiger  
It's the thrill of the fight  
Rising up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor  
Stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger

Jin yelled out the lyrics with Hoseok. Jin was scared about facing his professors. He was scared to stand in front of them and present a project he believed in. Look out for me RM, Jin thought as he finished the song. 

He was ready. 

**  
“Jin we’re ready for you.” 

Jin walked into the room and where he had set up presentation and stood behind the podium with just an index card for notes. 

“Good morning Professors. I wanted to start today by talking a bit about my project. The idea for my work developed during my first semester as a graduate student.” Jin used the clicker and the slide on his PowerPoint moved on to show the cover of a book titled, “The Making of Europe.”

“One of the books, I had the privilege of reading was The Making of Europe: Conquest, Colonization, and Cultural Change, 950-1350. Dr. Bartlett presented an interesting thesis arguing that Europe was constructed through of process of conquest and colonization. His addition to our understanding of the Middle Ages was that while we usually view conquest as a policy that developed in the New World, this was actually a technique used much earlier. He argued that internal colonization and the expansion of Europe on the continent during this period drastically shaped European attitudes for centuries. Now while Dr. Bartlett provided a great discussion elucidating the making of Europe and colonial expansion more broadly, as a young student there were several things that stood out to me and the most meaningful was his omission. In the four hundred and fifty-six pages, with maps and diagrams, Dr. Bartlett focused on the development of the major three.” 

Jin paused and saw the smile his professor shared. “He focused on Britain or the British Isles, France, and Germany. It wasn’t until the last possible chapter that he devotes a page and a half to Spain. The country that would have the largest influence on the Americas. At least initially,” Jin added with a smile. “Then to add insult to injury, Dr. Bartlett argued that for many Spain stops at the Pyrenees. You guys can imagine my confusion since Spain unlike Britain is attached to the continent. But let’s put this geographical question to the side for a second. The other thing I was introduced to in my first semester the Black Legend which has drastically shaped the historiography of Spain. And so, my journey to find, defend, and go at swords with authors for Spain began.”

Jin finished his presentation and took a seat, “is it ok if I write down some notes as we talk?”

“Yes Jin,” Dr. Oh answered quickly. “Now as your adviser, I will go last but before I give the floor over. I am going to be asking you not about what is in the thesis but like your presentation on Dr. Bartlett. I want to discuss what you presented but never actually say. Professor Bang the floor is yours.” 

Jin gripped his pencil and mentally let out a stream of curses that would have made Yoongi blush. 

**  
An hour and a half later, Jin had completely sweat through all his clothes. He was doing his best to look calm but his voice was shaking and he was blinking like crazy. 

“Ok Jin we don’t have any more questions just. Go down the hall and we’ll come get you once we’re done talking.” 

Jin walked down the hall paced. He counted to one hundred a few times and tried not to stress about the door opening down the hall. Jin reached into his pocket and pulled RM’s figurine out. He ran a finger over RM’s face. His eyes were closed and his face was relaxed despite the breaks in it. I am almost done, Jin thought. Jin put RM back in his pocket as he heard the click of heels down the hall. 

Professor Oh kept a straight face until she was two feet away from him then smiled and opened her arms. “Congratulations Jin. Now come to me I am not going on my tiptoes for you.” 

When Jin walked into the room, his three professors clapped. 

**  
“Alright so I want everyone to raise their cups to congratulate the one and only Master Kim Seokjin.” 

Jin raised his glass and smiled. “I do demand to be called Master Jin for at least a week.”

“Absolutely not,” Yoongi said next to him. 

“But I am a Master now,” Jin whined good heartedly. 

“I need paper proof first,” Yoongi squinted as his lips twitched with a smile. 

“I will go get a copy of my diploma first thing tomorrow!”

Jin’s friends and colleagues all stopped by and congratulated him. Once a good group of them had gathered, they asked for a play by play of the defense. When Jin shared Dr. Oh’s “I want to discuss what is not in your thesis,” laughter broke out among his colleagues. After a while, they all started to share horror stories of their own experiences. 

As the night began to wind down, Jin sat back watching Hoseok and Yoongi give a tragic yet very amusing karaoke rendition of “The Boy is Mine.” 

“Need another beer?”

“Sure,” Jin smiled up at Ken who sat a beer in front of him. 

“Congratulations!”

“Thanks, I am just so happy it’s over.” 

“I hear you’re demanding to be called Master Jin.” 

Jin burst out laughing, “Because we’re friends you’re good. You can still just call me Jin.” 

“I feel so privileged,” Ken said dramatically. Jin elbowed Ken as Yoongi and Hoseok stood back to back getting ready for the climax of the song. “Are you doing better?”

Jin froze with the beer halfway up his lips. “So, you heard some gossip?”

“No,” Ken answered quickly. “I… Well I saw you once you started hanging around campus again. You had lost weight and just looked like something had happened.” 

“Ahh, well yeah I was going through some stuff and I am better now. Thanks for asking.” 

“Cool.”

“Oh,” Jin patted Ken on the shoulder. “I do think your singing partner just arrived.” Jin watched as his friends enjoyed themselves and drank. 

It had been a long time since he’d been able to go out like this. He was glad he’d reached a point where he could give himself these moments. Jin reached into his pocket and took out RM. Cheers buddy, he thought as he lifted his beer in RM’s direction and drank the rest of its contents. 

**  
“Jin are you going to sing?”

“Absolutely not, I spent an hour and a half talking I am cool.” 

Hoseok took that statement as a cue to start chanting: sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, until everyone else joined in. 

“Alright, alright keep it down you rowdy bunch of undergrads,” Jin blew a kiss out to the crowd and started to flip through the book. 

“What are you going to sing,” Hoseok asked as he walked over to hand Jin another beer. 

“I don’t know… I usually sing sad songs but should I do a little bit of rapping,” Jin wiggled his eyebrows at Hoseok. 

Hoseok ran down from the stage, “hug me, hug me.” 

“What happened? What happened?” Yoongi asked as he wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s shoulders. 

“Jin is going to rap!”

“Ah shit,” Yoongi let out. “Someone save us all.” 

I only look forward and run  
Without having time to look around  
Without me noticing, I have become the pride of my family  
And I have succeeded to some extent. 

“Oh shit,” Yoongi said louder this time. Hoseok turned to face Jin and covered his face with his hands. 

“Does he spit hot fire?” 

Yoongi burst out laughing and took a swig of his beer, “yup he raps like Jay-Z”

**  
In the two weeks following the defense, Jin tried to figure out what his next move would be. 

“Good morning,” Jin said lightly as Yoongi grunted from his desk but raised a mug of coffee as greeting. “I am so glad we can have these conversations. Did I ever tell you Min Yoongi that if it wasn’t for our deep and meaningful talks all these years I don’t know what I would have done? All of your words of encouragement, knock-knock jokes, and overall chatty character really kept me going,” Yoongi simply grunted and rolled his eyes. “Do you want pancakes or French toast for breakfast?”

“French toast.” 

“Alright and know that I only do this because I love you,” Jin yelled out from the kitchen. Jin was feeling better and day by day things were getting easier. 

It was less hard to get up in the morning after realizing that RM was gone. It was less hard to force himself to brush his teeth, shower, and care about what he looked like. Slowly, things had gotten easier. Or as Jin secretly suspected, he had simply gotten so used to being heartbroken it was normal for him now. 

Jin reached for the spice rack to get some cinnamon and smiled when he thought of RM sitting there watching him cook. Jin set everything for breakfast and when Yoongi took his first bite of French toast he couldn’t help but laugh. 

“What,” Yoongi said annoyed. 

“Nothing, I just… did I ever tell you how funny you looked running around chasing RM?” 

“Jin are you- “

“I am fine. I was just remembering you looked so panicked and poor RM,” Jin’s windshield wiper laughter filled the room. 

“I didn’t know what the fuck he was Jin,” Yoongi put his fork down. “It shaved like ten years off of my life. I was panicked.” 

“I know you looked so pale. It was hilarious,” Jin keep on laughing until tears were running down his cheeks. 

“What are you going to do next?”

“I don’t know. When I started writing my thesis I really thought I just wanted to finish and be done. I wanted to start my life you know. I wanted the after whatever that was but now,” Jin picked up RM’s notebook. “I just think I have more work to do.”

“You don’t have to do this for him. If you’re done then you’re done. Putting yourself through two more years of course work, comps, a year of research, grants, and a dissertation for him is insane.” 

“I am not doing it for him, but I’ve been thinking about it and I think I want to move forward. I still have a few days before I have to turn in my paperwork but that’s how I am leaning.” 

“Well dude, better you than me. Once, I am done in the fall I am out,” Yoongi lifted his hand in an epic peace sign. “My plan to get Hobi to move in isn’t going as I wanted. I feel like if I am going to trick him into marrying me I need to focus full time.”

“You know asking might work?”

“Jin, just asking isn’t enough. You don’t just as the love of your life to marry you. You need to have a grand gesture. Also if I don’t get a job and start working, Hobi is going to figure out he’s too good for me and dump me for a happier, wealthier, and much more social guy.” 

“And more handsome,” Jin added as he took a sip of his coffee. 

“Yeah no fucken way. I am heavenly at best, and glorious at worst.” 

“Well Hoseok can’t ever say that you have self-esteem issues so you have that.” 

“And my dick is huge.” 

Jin started laughing so hard that it suddenly turned into violent coughing. “My god Min Yoongi you need to shut it down. You’re way too much.” 

“That’s exactly the point I was trying to make,” Yoongi winked and picked up his dish. “I’ll do the dishes.”

“I would hope so,” Jin called back as he leaned in his chair and finished his coffee. “I think I am going to go do a bit of shopping.” 

“Pass.” 

“I wasn’t inviting you. I don’t need you brining down my shopping high. I think I’ll call Hobi instead.” Jin walked over and set his empty mug in the sink. “Thanks for washing the dishes.” 

**  
“Ok I need a drink and a pretzel. When you said shopping trip, I didn’t think you meant the whole time without sustenance,” Hoseok complained as he heaved bags. 

Jin rolled his eyes and made way towards the food court. Two salted pretzels and two Boba drinks later, Jin and Hoseok sat down. 

“How has your showcase?”

Hoseok held up a finger as he chewed and tried to swallow the quarter of the pretzel in his mouth. “It went well. I am almost ready for the next one. This one is to compete nationally, but since my injury…” 

“You’re still hurting?”

“No, no pain, but I can still feel some stiffness. I am taking it easy but its hard not to push and want to do my best.” 

“I am sure. It’s what you love right? If you love something, how can you not do your best?”

“That is very true,” Hoseok lifted his drink towards Jin. “Have you decided what you’re going to do next?”

“Kind of, I was actually talking to Yoongi about it this morning.” 

“And…. What’s the big plan?” Hoseok put his elbows on the table and shot Jin a huge smile. 

“Well I think I am going to stay and continue.” 

“Shit man that sounds amazing congrats.” 

“Yeah but I am nervous.”

“About?”

“Well I like my work. I enjoy the research and I am even starting to like the reading again, but writing that thesis took it out of me and it was only ninety pages.” 

“Hmmm for one that doesn’t like to write ninety is a lot.” 

“I know, but it was hard. I am not the best writer so it took a bunch of drafts, edits, and it just sucked.”

“And the problem is?”

“I am being childish, but a part of me wishes I had picked something I was good at. I like my work but it doesn’t come naturally to me like…”

“Like rapping,” Hoseok added with a wink. 

“Exactly,” Jin agreed but gave Hoseok a light punch,” you joke about my rapping skills but I am not that bad. But anyway, even with all of that and the constant uncertainty I think I am going to continue. The more I think about it the more I feel convinced to put myself through four years, give or take, of purgatory.” 

Hoseok laughed and then got awkwardly quiet. 

“What,” Jin asked as he dipped his pretzel into some cheese sauce. 

“I was just thinking about RM.”

Jin set the other piece of pretzel he had been holding down. “I am sorry Jin I didn’t- “

“No, its ok tell me.” 

“I was just thinking about RM dancing. Remember when I was practicing and he decided he wanted to learn to dance. He was so terrible,” Hoseok started to laugh. “He just flailed, but he liked it and whenever there was music he danced. RM tried really hard and before… before he left he got better. There was some actual rhythm with his steps. But what I mean is that dancing was the only thing that didn’t seem to come naturally to him. He just liked it and tried really hard.”

“Yes,” Jin smiled, “he did. He was a regular dance machine for sure. He made a lot of faces with his moves which was really cute.” 

“Well he was your Pocket Monster after all, I wasn’t surprised to see he couldn’t dance.” 

“Hey,” Jin frowned, “I am an excellent dancer.” 

“Sure,” Hoseok said then he stood up and started flapping his hands with a mix of Raptor and headless chicken. 

**  
September 12  
“Good morning Jin.” 

“Hey, Debbie how, are you?”

“I am great,” Debbie answered with a huge smile. As department secretary, Debbie was the pulse of the department. She knew all the graduate students, who the advisers were and pretty much ran everything. If there was a meeting, grant, scandal, or party, Debbie knew. 

“I am here to drop off my paper work.” 

“Oh, that’s great, I was expecting you. So, what did you decide?”

“I am staying Debbie.” 

“Ah Jin,” Debbie got up from her desk and walked around to hug him. “You’re amazing Jin. I am so happy you’re staying.”

“Thanks Debbie. Thanks for all your help.” 

Debbie pulled back and walked back to her desk. “Let me get this paper work in and I’ll get you the form to walk it over to the graduate college.” 

“Thanks Debbie.” 

“Oh Jin, have you met Dr. Kim yet?”

“Dr. Kim? Oh yes, the new professor the department hired. No not yet.” 

“Oh well I think you guys will all like him. He seems very nice and smart. He’s really young too which I think will be nice around here. We have quite a few grumpy men walking around,” Debbie said in a conspirator whisper. “I’ve been in correspondence with him for a few weeks but I hadn’t meet him yet. He came in this morning to say hello and he has a quirky style. Very different from everyone else.” 

“Quirky?”

“He walked in here in overalls and a pink hat,” Debbie giggled at the memory and failed to see the color drain from Jin’s face. “Alright Jin, here are the three forms. Now go to the graduate college and give them to Victoria Baxter. She’s the director there and will process these forms right away. Jin are you ok? You look really pale.” 

“I am fine. I guess I am just excited,” Jin lied and took the papers. “Thanks again Debbie you are a queen among the department secretaries.” 

**  
Jin walked out of the department office and took a deep breath. He needed to be ok with thinking about RM. He needed to because Jin wouldn’t lose the only things he had left of him: his memories. 

In the time since RM passed away and he’d stopped dreaming about him, Jin had only two choices. The first was to forget RM. 

Jin could erase all physical traces of RM from his life. He could feign that he’d never met him. Jin could fantasize that he’d never taken a walk that day to get away from his thesis and found him. But in his heart, RM could never be truly gone. Jin would think about him when he cooked in his kitchen. He would remember RM when he walked past the park on his way to school, and think about him right before going to bed so Jin took option two. 

His second option was to remember RM and be ok with the sadness that came with it. 

Instead of letting the pain of losing him drown him, Jin remembered how much they had shared. He remembered the joy RM had brought into his life. Jin took another deep breath and walked down the steps. He still had paperwork to turn in and some work to do. 

**  
“Hey Jin”

“Oh Ara, what’s up? Is this where you work now?”

“Yes,” Ara said beaming. “I started a few weeks ago. What are you doing here? Wait are you turning in your paperwork? Are you staying?”

Jin laughed at Ara’s obvious enthusiasm. “Yes, I am a glutton for punishment apparently so sign me up for four more years of pain and suffering.” 

“Well you know what Ron Weasley said,” Are reached over and squeezed Jin’s hand. “You’re going to suffer, but you’re going to be happy about it.” 

Jin simply laughed.

“Let me go get Vicky and we’ll get this going for you.” 

Jin leaned on the counter and signed all the paperwork. This was it. He was singing himself up for another few years of epic regret, self-doubt and hopefully some ass kicking. 

“Dude,” Jin looked up to see Ara’s sweet face. “Have you meet the new Assistant Professor that the department just hired?”

“No not yet, Debbie was telling me about him actually.”

“What do you know,” Ara stared at Jin intently.

“Nothing really, she just said he seemed nice and had a quirky style.”

“Oh,” Ara looked disappointed, “he does seem really nice. I met him earlier he came to drop off some paperwork. But Jin,” Ara put a hand to her chest, “he’s super handsome. Like full on hottie.” 

Jin gave Ara a skeptical look. “You have weird taste. I am not sure I completely trust you or your judgment. Especially after you dated Adam,” Jin pronounced the name in a mocked lofty tone. “Seriously what were you thinking?”

“Oh you shush, like you’ve never had a single questionable guy on your roster. And, you wound me Kim Seokjin because the new Professor is universally handsome,” Ara pointed at Jin for emphasis. “First, he’s slightly taller than you.” 

“Tall doesn’t- “

“Shush, I won’t hear it. I want at least one of my offspring to play for the NBA and I am five foot flat. As a result, tall matters and is attractive to me. Second, he has an amazing smile. I went full giddy high school girl and I am thirty.” Ara fanned herself dramatically. “And his smile was sweet, it wasn’t like full teeth weirdness or the sly I am too fucken cool to smile. It was just fresh and sweet.”

“Tall, and a sweet smile isn’t anything to write home about Ara maybe,” Jin leaned closer to Ara and whispered, “you just need to get laid.” 

“I mean you’re not wrong. I think a vagina troll has been guarding the entrance and no one seems to know the magic password,” Ara rolled her eyes. “But I digress, you haven’t heard my third point.” 

“And what is that?”

“Dimples,” Ara smiled and nodded. 

Jin looked at Ara and thought about RM, “you got me there. Dimples are universal.” 

**  
As soon as Jin walked out of the graduate college his phone rang, “Hello, Yoongi what, can I do for you?”

“Are you heading home?”

“Yes, I am walking back now so I should be there in 45 minutes or so.” Jin looked both ways as he crossed the street reminding himself to look out for bicyclist. It was a week before classes officially started, but the campus was already lively with students who had arrived early to prepare for the semester. Jin smiled as he saw a group of parents taking a small tour of the campus aimed at familiarizing them with the main bits of the university. 

“Ok cool, Hoseok is going to make some food so he wanted to know if you were almost here.”

“Oh, what is he making,” Jin walked towards the old part of the college that would lead him straight towards the main fountain. Jin wasn’t surprised to see another grouping of parents taking pictures of the older buildings. Jin smiled as he moved out of the way because depending on what Hobi was making, he might need to take an alternate route to get home faster. 

“I think he’s making wings.” 

“You think Yoongi,” Jin raised his voice jokingly as he looked both ways again, clutching his book bag to his side, and running across the street, “Food is a serious business what do you mean you think. You better- “Jin stopped midsentence as a pink hat and pair of overalls peaked out from one of the groups taking a tour. The hand that was holding the phone to his ear dropped to his side, “RM?” 

Jin didn’t think and just moved forward. “Excuse me, excuse me,” he said as he moved across the mall towards the group. Jin wondered why his heart didn’t just jump out of his chest. He ran the last bit and stopped next to a bench. Jin scanned the crowed but the bright pink hat was gone. 

Jin couldn’t feel his feet, his hands were shaking and in a move of pure self-preservation he let himself slide onto the bench. Jin closed his eyes and focused on breathing. He was seeing things and even if he wasn’t people could wear pink hats. Yes, yes of course they could. The new professor owned one! Shit, shit, shit, Jin tried to pull himself together. He wouldn’t have an epic breakdown in the middle of the university mall. 

“Jin, Jin what the fuck are you ok? Jin… Hoseok I think something happened to Jin!”

“I am ok,” Jin put the phone to his ear once more.

“Jin what the actual fuck are you fucken kidding me? What happened?” 

“I….,” Jin swallowed and willed his heart to beat slower, “I thought I saw RM.” 

“Oh Jin.” 

“I am fine,” Jin wiped a tear from his cheek. “I just had an emotional day. I am being crazy. I am on my way home ok.” 

“I’ll come get you.” 

“No, no it’s ok. The walk home will help me calm down. So why don’t we say an hour.” 

“Jin I think I should come get you,” Yoongi insisted. 

“Yoongi please. Trust me, I need the walk.” 

“Ok but if you’re not home in an hour I am coming to find your bitchass.” 

Jin chucked because Yoongi wanted him to smile, “I am on my way, bye.” 

**  
“Hobi, you can get married now.” 

“Shush, don’t you say the M word around Yoongi,” Hoseok leaned to look into the living room. “Yoongi even hears a word that starts with M and he tries to whisper sweet nothings into my ear.” 

“He loves you.” 

“I know that, but I need to be done with school, and he needs to finish as well, and other things that I can’t remember right now. Don’t you look at me that way, Kim Seokjin”

“I am not looking at you in anyway. You’re projecting.” 

“Hey,” Hoseok wrapped an arm around Jin’s waist and pulled him to his side. “Are you ok? You scared Yoongi today.”

“I know,” Jin tilted his head to touch Hoseok’s. “I was just thinking about RM today and it just messed with my mind.” 

“We’re here for you,” Hoseok squeezed harder. 

“I know, now I am going to go for a walk because I am still feeling a little anxious.”

“Oh, let me finish cleaning here and I’ll go with you.” 

“No, no it’s ok. I want to just go and clear my head.” 

“Ok, but we’re here ok?” Jin kissed the top of Hobi’s head and went into his room to change. 

**  
The evening was beautiful. 

There were children playing at the jungle gym chasing each other and enjoying the last days of freedom before school started. Jin walked past groups of moms gathered around looking after smaller children and talking. There was just so much life going on. Jin made his way towards a bench at the top of a hill and sat down. 

“I am moving on to the PhD, RM,” Jin said as he pulled the figurine from his coat pocket. “I went and filled out all the paperwork so it’s a done deal. Now I just have to get through hopefully no more than two and a half years of course work, the comprehensive exam, the oral exam, prospectus, and then the dissertation. Just those few things and I’ll be Dr. Jin. That would have been cool, right? You could have called me Dr. Jin.” Jin leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. “I thought I saw you today,” Jin ran a finger down RM’s cheek. “It was like in the dreams I had of you. You were big, and you were wearing the first outfit I ever made you. Isn’t that funny?” 

Jin smiled as his eyes filled with tears. “I couldn’t see your face though. I’ve been meaning to tell you. I am sorry I got mad at you when you left,” Jin kissed the figurine. “I know I told you that if you left I’d forget you, but I was just scared so ignore that ok? I thought about you all day today and I can’t imagine ever forgetting about you.”

Jin leaned back on the bench and brought RM to his chest. “You did so much for me. I learned so much about how you see things, the way that you think, and the things that you liked from your notebook. Thank you for giving me so much but I need to ask you for a favor. If there is anyway, anyway at all you can come back, RM please come back to me.” Jin waited until the basketball game in front of him ended to head home. 

Jin was turning towards the field at the end of the park to head home when a distinct, “Mister watch out,” reached his ear a second before a ball made contact with his head. 

Jin never had a chance to put his hands up to catch himself. He just landed on the sidewalk face first with his hands by his side like a toddler learning how to walk. 

“Boys, boys don’t touch him, he hit his head when he fell.”

Jin squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think through the throbbing at the front of his face. Why did it hurt so much to fall? Surely, it didn’t hurt his much when he was a kid. Jin felt a hand on his shoulder and he tried to get up again. 

“No, no please don’t move, you hit your head when you fell. Can you tilt you head to the side? Slowly… slowly, you don’t want to hurt yourself more. Here let me get a look at you.” 

Jin turned his head slowly and felt a wave of nausea hit him. It was good to know that his deep voiced savior had been right. He must have hit his head pretty hard. 

“I am going to apply some pressure to your nose it’s bleeding slightly but I don’t think it’s broken.”

“Ok,” Jin said softly. 

“Alright, you’ll feel some pressure. Keep your eyes closed to avoid dizziness ok? Now on the count of three, you want to sit up on your knees. One, two, three.” 

Jin felt the deep voiced stranger’s hands on him. They were steady and sure as they assisted him. “Any dizziness?”

“No, not anymore.” 

“Alright well let’s sit here for a second just to make sure.” 

“Professor. Professor Kim are you ok? Oh my god, I was gone for just a second and then. I am so sorry… Jin?”

“Ken?” Jin squinted and opened an eye to see Ken staring down at him. His deep voiced savior was out of his line of sight. 

“Jin what happened,” Ken asked as he reached for Jin.

“Don’t touch him Ken, he hit his head on the sidewalk.” 

“Oh yes Professor.” 

“Ken why don’t you help me disperse this crowd and bring my car around. I am sure Mr. Kim here will be happy to get home as soon as possible.” 

“Yes, Professor. Jin I’ll be right back.” 

Jin made a noncommittal sound and just waited. “Please give me your hand.” 

“I am sorry?”

“Your hand.” 

Jin stuck out his right hand. “Here keep pressure on your nose and give me your other hand.” 

“What is that?” Jin flinched as he felt something brush against his palm.

“When you fell, your hands got dirty. I am just wiping them down. Alright let’s switch.” 

Jin switched hands and let oh fucken hell. There wasn’t a hole deep enough for him to fall in. “I am sorry… but are you the new hire for the department.” 

“Yes, my name is Dr. Kim its lovely to meet you.” 

“I am Kim Seokjin.” 

“Yes, I know. Now why don’t we try standing up and see how that feels?”

Jin tried to get up but with his eyes closed, and his other hand keeping pressure on his face he stumbled forward straight into Professor Kim’s arms. 

Jin could feel himself blushing to the root of his hair. “Professor, I am sorry. I- “

“Not at all Jin.” 

Jin’s heart did a little leap. There was something about the way he said his name that made Jin’s heart sputter to life, like the old 1985 Dodge Turbo he used to drive. 

“Now why don’t we try again, you keep applying pressure and I’ll help you up.” 

Jin felt a pair of large hands slip into his jacket and take a hold on to his waist. “I… Thank you Professor.”

Jin waited for Professor Kim to pull back. No, he fully expected, Professor Kim to drop his hands as soon as Jin was on his feet but that did not happen. Jin stood in the middle of a park with his eyes closed, a cloth to his nose, and a Professor’s arms around his waist. He should have been appalled, insulted, or in the very least shocked. Instead, he Kim Seokjin was seconds away from giggling like a high school girl. Damn Ara had cursed him earlier with her high school comment and the Professor’s dreamy smile. Lucky for him, his eyes were closed or only the heavens would know what idiocy he’d done already. 

“Any dizziness?”

“No Professor.” 

“I am sorry.” 

“About what Professor? I should be apologizing to you for the complete inconvenience,” Jin let out a shaky laugh. 

“I didn’t know they’d keep me all day.” 

“Professor?” Jin could hear his heart pounding in his ears again. 

“I thought I would drop off some paperwork and come find you. I didn’t realize they’d super glue Ken to me for the rest of the day and insist on giving me a campus tour. I even wore your favorite outfit today. I looked like an idiot but I was just excited to see you.” 

Jin just stood there as all the moisture evaporated from his mouth. 

“It seems that I am always late aren’t I? I was late to find you before, and I was late to save you today.” 

Jin’s sucked in his breath as he felt a hand stroke the side of his cheek. “For a long time, I lived under the assumption that everything had an order and a purpose. My life was simple and ordered because the questions that I asked were simple and ordered. When they started dying, I couldn’t find a single thing wrong with them. I asked them one by one to tell me what was wrong but even as they explained it to me I didn’t understand. How could they be broken in a way that nothing could fix?”

Jin felt a hand reach into his pocket and pull the figurine out. “No-“

“It’s ok. It wasn’t until I found you that I understood what they meant. Life never turns out the way you want. There are unexpected twists and turns that you can’t control despite how much you want to. Jin open your eyes.” 

Jin felt hands frame his face. “No, no, I am dreaming,” Jin chanted over and over again. He had to be dreaming because the soft sent of the Ryan Bear soap was surrounding him. 

“Jin don’t cry. Look at me, I am here, safe, and sound. I came back for you.” 

Jin opened his eyes and RM’s beautiful came into focus. The eyes that had haunted him looked back and crinkled as he smiled. Jin lifted a hand to touch RM’s face and framed the dimples. “It’s you.” Jin felt color rise to his face and emotions he’d been hiding for weeks burst.

“I came back for you Jin.” 

“Yes,” Jin smiled and dropped one hand to hold RM’s suspender and made a fist with the other one. 

RM’s head snapped back from the contact and his pink hat flew off of his head. 

**  
“You didn’t have to punch me,” Namjoon pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to look at Jin. He was glorious. Jin’s cheeks were pink with anger and his eyes were blinking uncontrollably. He looked like a vengeful god towering over Namjoon ready to unleash his wrath. 

"Why are you looking at me like that," Jin demanded.

Namjoon fought the urge to throw himself at Jin's feet and beg for forgiveness. He attempted to crush the yearning he felt to be wrapped in Jin's arms again and be able to embrace him back. Nothing short of the longing that had been buried in Jin's heart would have brought Namjoon back, but he had put his Jin through a lot. Namjoon's desire, craving, and longing for Jin would have to be set aside for him. He wouldn't force Jin to take him back, but he wouldn't live without him either.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" Namjoon saw the flash in Jin's eyes and dodged another blow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone,  
> First thanks for reading! After much consideration, I decided to add an epilogue chapter. I was only going to do 9 chapters for this fic but since I made us all suffer for two of them it only seemed fair to write two good ones. As a result, the ending has changed a bit but I hope you guys will still enjoy it.


	10. Chapter 10

“You didn’t have to punch me,” Namjoon pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Why are you looking at me like that,” Jin demanded

Namjoon turned to look at Jin and just couldn’t help himself, “did I ever tell you how pretty you look when you’re angry?”

Namjoon saw the gleam in Jin’s eyes and dodged another blow, “Jin… Jin take it easy.”

“Don’t you fucken say another word.”

“Jin… Jin listen… Jin,” Namjoon moved side to side as Jin came after him. “Jin your nose is bleeding again just wait.” Namjoon didn’t try to dodge this time and instead ducked under Jin’s arm and wrapped him in a hug. “You can beat my ass and have Yoongi and Hoseok help you, and I won’t move a muscle but that’s enough for now.” 

Jin stiffened in his embrace,” let me go.” 

“Now Jin, I love you and you’re beautiful but you pack a punch and I’d rather you didn’t break my nose.”

“Let me go or I swear I won’t stop until your nose is smashed to bits.” 

“Jin I know you’re mad but please try to calm down. I’ll let you go but you have to promise you won’t punch me again,” 

“If you don’t let me go, I definitely will.” 

“Ok, easy,” Namjoon slowly unwrapped his arms from Jin and took a napkin from his pocket. “Here, put this to your face.” 

Jin snatched the napkin from his hand and started applying pressure to his nose. Jin was so angry he couldn’t think straight. 

“Jin I can explain…”

Jin didn’t turn to look at Namjoon and instead flipped him off. “Ok so you hate explanations did not know that-“

“Professor, I parked the car in a ten-minute parking space,” Ken walked up and headed straight towards Jin.

Namjoon intercepted Ken and shook his hand,” it was really great to meet you Ken. I really appreciate you showing me around. Now, I think its best I take Mr. Kim home.” 

“Ahh sure,” Ken looked from Professor Kim to Jin. 

“Alright Jin,” Namjoon reached for Jin’s arm. 

“Don’t even think about it!”

Namjoon turned to smile at a wide eyed Ken then turned to Jin once more, “I’ll wait for you in the car.” 

“Jin I can drive you home if you want.” 

“No Ken it’s ok” 

“Hey Jin.” 

“Yes?”

“So it was Dr. Kim who you were dating this summer.” 

“What did you say?” The look in Jin’s eyes had Ken backing up a few steps. 

“I mean Jin you guys obviously had a lover’s quarrel,” when Jin started walking away towards Dr. Kim’s car Ken followed. “But Jin… serious what’d he do? I’ve never see you punch anyone.”

“Oh god Ken nothing he didn’t do anything.” 

“I didn’t think you were the type of person to punch someone for no reason,” Ken teased as Jin picked up his pace. 

“Thanks for your help Ken. I’ll talk to you later,” Jin waved ran the last few steps towards the car. 

Ken looked over just in time to see Dr. Kim try to open Jin’s door. “Oh shit,” Ken said as Jin flipped off Dr. Kim and tried to hit him with the car door. Ken wasn’t quite sure what had happened between them, but Jin seemed more like himself than he had in weeks. “Good luck professor, I think you’ll need it.” 

**  
“You know if you stay I’ll make it worth it.” 

“Keep your hands and lips to yourself,” Hoseok slapped Yoongi’s hand away as he tried to undo his shirt. 

“Ahh come one, it’s just one night. I’ll take you to practice in the morning,” Yoongi maneuvered Hoseok into a corner pushing him gently against the door. 

“I’ve already spent the night three days this week. I can’t concentrate or get work done when I am here so I am going home. Also if I spend the night anymore, I might as well move in, and I doubt Jin will be happy about that-“

“Fuck Jin and that’s what I am saying, we should just move in together.”

“Yoongi we’ve talked about this,” Hoseok pulled away and started to put on his shoes. “We both need to finish school before we… wait do you hear that?”

“Hoseok if you don’t-“

“Shush,” Hoseok lifted a finger to his lips and pointed towards the door. 

“Fuck off, I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.” 

“That’s Jin,” Hoseok whispered.

“Jin just wait if you let me explain. Damn it Jin, your nose is still bleeding let me help.”

“Go to hell.” 

“I just got back from there actually, but thanks for the suggestion.”

“Who is he fighting with,” Yoongi moved next to Hoseok and looked through the peephole. “Hoseok you are not going to believe what I am seeing. Quick run, run,” Yoongi took Hoseok’s hand and they landed on the couch a second before the door sung open. 

“Oh sweet nine pound and ten ounce baby Jesus,” Hoseok whispered as Jin stormed into the apartment followed by a full size RM. “What the hell?”

“Shh...,” Yoongi sunk deeper into the cushions of the couch. As Jin started hurling every insult known to man at RM, Yoongi wasn’t sure if he was proud of frightened, “maybe if we’re very still they won’t notice we’re here.” 

“Good plan,” Hoseok whispered back unable to take his eyes off of the scene in front of him. RM was wearing jean overalls and timberland boots. There was a pink hat tucked into back pocket and there was bruising on his face. Jin was standing full height so enraged his head was flailing side to side, and his nose was bleeding. “I think Jin punched him.”

“Punched him?” Yoongi looked back to Jin and RM. “Oh shit… Yup he might have punched him,” Yoongi nodded approvingly. “I am actually kind of proud. I always knew Jin had it in him. Wait, why is Jin’s nose bleeding?”

“No, no, no,” Hoseok grabbed Yoongi by the shirt and pulled him back. “If they decided to punch each other then we should stay out of it.” 

“Jin please you hit your head,” Namjoon held up safety hands towards Jin. “Hi Yoongi. Hoseok,” Namjoon nodded towards both of them. 

“Hi,” Hoseok and Yoongi said in unison. 

“Do we wave,” Hoseok asked as he lifted a tentative hand. 

“Couldn’t hurt,” Yoongi lifted his hand and waved hello at RM. Namjoon smiled lightly and lifted a hand to wave back. 

“I think we should make a swift exit.” Yoongi nodded and held Hoseok’s hand as they both tiptoed towards the door. “Alright so I guess you can stay at my place.” 

“Mr. Min!”

Yoongi turned around to see the three techs walk towards him carrying an obscene amount of luggage between them. 

“What are you guys doing here?”

“We’re moving in with Namjoon. We’re your new neighbors,” Taehyung answered excitedly as Jimin waved enthusiastically and Jungkook rolled his eyes. 

***  
“So, let me get this straight, you three made RM… I mean Namjoon,” Hoseok opened a box and started unpacking a box of books.” 

“Made is a strong word,” Jimin said with a smile as he carried a box into the kitchen. “We received Namjoon as a model and we were responsible for the programing, yes. But we didn’t make him, I doubt any of us even Jungkook are that talented.” Jimin winked at Jungkook who was getting a table set up. 

“Can I ask another question?”

“Certainly,” Jimin nodded and started move another box. 

“How did you guys lose him? I mean I am assuming from how hard it was for Jin to get any information whatsoever that you guys must have good security. How did you guys lose such an important model?”

Taehyung and Jimin both looked at each other but said nothing. 

“Namjoon-hyung in intelligence scored way beyond our expectations. He is currently in the top 1%. He also grew up in our lab. His knowledge of how everything worked would have made it easy for him to-“

“Oh Kookie,” Taehyung slapped a hand over his shoulder. “You don’t have to make excuses. We just never thought that Namjoon-hyung would leave us,” Taehyung explained, “so we never prepared. It was a shock really. Jungkook tore down and rebuilt every inch of the office we had in hopes of finding him but came up empty handed. Jimin and I backlogged and reviewed every inch of data and information that had come into the office since he’d awakened and found no leads. After months of looking, we just had to accept that he hadn’t been taken but that he’d left us.”

“Kookie come help me set up this gear,” Jimin smiled at Hoseok and held out a hand to Kookie as he walked towards him. 

“We never really gave up though. We’ve all been working in the trenches so to speak instead of our fancy offices in hopes of picking up a bit of his trail,” Taehyung said with a big smile as he continued to unpack the box in front of him. “We all quit a million times over the last few years and threatened to give up the project all together at one point or another, but…”

“We all kept hope that we’d find him or at least find out what had happened to him,” Jimin walked over with a dishrag and handed it to Taehyung,” make sure you dust everything you didn’t when we packed. It was like a nagging in the back of our minds,” Jimin turned to look at Hoseok and Yoongi. “I am sure it was hard for you guys when RM left, but you guys knew or though he had left forever. We never got that and we’ve been waiting for him for a long time. He was our leader.”

The three boys worked silently throwing encouraging looks at each other. Jimin squeezed Taehyung’s hand before walking over to Jungkook and rubbing a hand over his back. 

“Yoongi,” Hoseok elbowed him and turned his beautiful brown eyes at him. 

“Hobi they’re not puppies,” Yoongi said quickly. 

“But Yoongi,” Hoseok pouted, “They’re babies.” 

“They’re grown men.” 

“I will hear nothing else. Now hurry we have to help them set up so they can get some sleep.” Hoseok turned towards the three boys working diligently and gave them such a brilliant smile that they all stopped working. “How about we figure out sleeping arrangements and then start unpacking accordingly?”

**  
“Yoongi can you get me that blanket?”

“We can’t stay here.”

“Well since I left my keys in the apartment and I can still hear Jin yelling through the wall,” Hoseok pointed towards the wall, “I am pretty sure we have no choice.” Hoseok unfolded the blanket and laid it on the single mattress on the floor. “I mean we do have another option,” Hoseok turned to hand Yoongi a pillow. “You can go and interrupt the fight and get my keys.”

Yoongi scrunched up his face. “Fine, but why don’t I get to sleep with you?”

“Because,” Hoseok turned to wink at Yoongi, “you’re part octopus and can’t keep your hands to yourself. We don’t live here and it would be rude for us to sleep together. Besides, Jungkook is a quiet guy sharing a room with him won’t be a hardship.” 

“Fine,” Yoongi spit out and took his blanket and pillow to the other room as Taehyung and Jimin walked in all smiles. 

**  
Yoongi tossed and turned all night

He wasn’t used to being away from his own bed. It sounded childish of course but the only exception was if Hoseok was with him which he was not at the moment. Hoseok was across the hallway soundly sleeping with Jimin and Taehyung. Yoongi turned towards the clock on Jungkook’s side of the room. The light indicated it was 1:00am. Fuck, he was never going to get any sleep and a sleepy Yoongi was a bad Yoongi. 

Yoongi fluffed his pillow and tried once again to fall asleep. Jin was lucky that Yoongi liked him as much as he did. 

“Yoongi?”

Yoongi sat up and saw the distinct outline of RM at the door. 

“So you’re still alive I see. That’s incredibly surprising, Jin is more benevolent than I thought.”

Namjoon nodded and smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. Yoongi got up from the bed, waved Namjoon over and walked into the living room. “Want some tea?” 

“Sure,” Namjoon said as he sat down and tried to roll the tension off of his shoulders. 

“You didn’t know Jin had a bad temper did you.” 

“I did,” Namjoon nodded, “he’s always so sweet and nice. I had to assume that would come with a temper.” 

“He’s hurt, RM. It’s not going to be easy.” 

“I know, thank you,” Namjoon responded as Yoongi handed him a mug of tea. “It doesn’t matter though. I am here for Jin and that’s all that I am worried about.” 

“Look, I have no place to say anything, and usually I am not so verbose, but,” Yoongi took a swig of his mug, “I love that dad-joke saying piece of pink suede you fell in love with.”

“You have my attention.” 

“Be patient with him, Jin throws some glorious fits and tantrums, but the more pissed off he is the more he cares. If he didn’t give a fuck about you, he would have walked away with his coat flapping in the air.” 

“I don’t think Jin will approve of you helping me, and I don’t want to interfere with your friendship.” 

Yoongi stared at Namjoon. He was bigger but the same sad expression he’d seen weeks ago in his face was there now. “Oh RM,” Yoongi put a hand on RM’s shoulder. “Anyone who has shared my bed becomes my friend by default.” 

“Is that so?” 

“Fucken shit, Hoseok, I almost jumped out of my skin. Why are you up?”

“I can’t sleep in a bed that’s not mine, but the boys finally went down. Is that tea,” Hoseok took the mug out of Yoongi’s hand. 

“So who spent time in your bed? And can I take him?”

“Oh Yoongi wasn’t-“

“It’s a joke RM,” Hoseok winked. “If I thought for a second you were trying to make time with my man, Jin would be the last of your problems. But I agree with my sweet piece of sugar, you need to be patient with Jin with not cautions.” 

“Now Hobi-“

“Shush my beautiful love,” Hoseok kissed Yoongi on the cheek. “Jin will dodge you like the plague if you let him. He will hole up and avoid you, but you can’t let him do that.” Hoseok poked Namjoon’s chest. “Jin is a mushy mush at heart. He wants romance, fantasy, love and he deserves it. So if you really love him, the only way to balance the scale is to go on the altar of love and place yourself on it.” 

“Yes hyung,” Jimin walked into the kitchen. “You have to prove to him that your love is real and that you’re here.” 

“Maybe a detailed assessment or serenade will work,” Jungkook suggested as he placed a detailed board of ideas on the kitchen table with images of romantic dates.

“Or go survivor style,” Taehyung walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. 

“Oh Tae…,” Jimin signed. 

“No, no, what did you have in mind,” Hoseok looked interested. 

“I mean we lock them up full survivor style. Give them a week and force them to work it out,” Taehyung announced with a huge smile. 

“Or it could back fire,” Jungkook interjected. “I think a carefully laid plan might be best. Courtship has steps to it.” 

“I think in theory that works, but when you found the love of your life in a six inch figurine I think we can skip a few steps,” Taehyung said with a wink. 

**  
Jin hadn’t slept. He felt like shit. Nope, shit still had a function even if it got flushed down the toilet. He felt like that piece of gum under your shoe that wasn’t big enough to be a bother, but just small enough to remain and get stepped on over and over again. Jin was having an epic pity party but fuck it sometimes you needed it. 

Sometime during the night he accepted that RM was back. How he was back? How that was possible? What had led to his return was still a complete mystery. RM had tried to explain, but Jin had thrown every curse, mug, and pillow in his apartment at him. True, Jin supposed he could have listened, but yesterday Jin wasn’t in a listening kind of a mood. 

Yesterday Jin was still riding the coattails of pain and misery when the tiny pocket monster of his heart had decided to show up. “Fucken asshole,” Jin said into his empty room. How dare he return with the cute overalls, pink hat and a smile that could outshine all the other stars and think it was going to be ok? Jin got out of bed and started to get ready for his day. RM, yesterday, and September 12 in general needed to be ignored. Jin knew from his therapy sessions that ignoring a problem wasn’t the way to deal with it but he wasn’t quite sure what to do so ignoring was the plan. He was committing himself to living at the base of the river in Egpyt. Yup De-nial was his home. 

Jin laughed as he washed his face. Despite the ball of confusion his life had become, he still had his humor. Graduate school and life could take everything but not his humor. As long as he had that he would be ok. Jin moved through his morning routine like every other day. Jin started to rub his charcoal toner into his skin and was instantly surprised by how extra charcoly it was that morning. “What the?” Jin poured a bit more on the cotton pad and lifted it to his nose. Nope it smelled ok, but where was the burnt smell coming from?

Jin checked the bathroom and found nothing. He moved into the living room and nope the smell didn’t come from there. In a second of panic he moved into the kitchen but nothing. A quick flash of RM running along the length of the stove came to his mind, but Jin pushed it away. In retrospect, Jin didn’t know what possessed him to look up, but when he did he saw smoke coming into his apartment from the vents. 

Jin flew out of his apartment just in time to see Yoongi, Hoseok, and three other guys exit the next door apartment coughing as a cloud of smoke envelope them. “Namjoon-hyung… is Namjoon-hyung out here?”

“I think he’s still inside,” a young boy with chubby cheeks said as he coughed and tears ran down his cheeks. Jin stood there frozen until, “RM’s still inside,” left Yoongi’s mouth. 

Jin pushed his way passed the five of them and ran into the apartment. Sure enough there was RM still in pajamas turning in the kitchen looking panicked, waving at the smoke and seconds way from pouring water on a grease fire. 

Jin rushed forward and pushed RM out of the way to turn off the stove. Baking soda,” Jin barked the order. 

RM opened the refrigerator and took out a yellow box of baking soda. Jin took it and sprinkled it generously on the pan until the flames died. Jin turned on the overhead fan and opened the window to let some of the smoke out. “Go outside.” 

Jin saw hesitation in RM’s eyes, but turned around to pick up two dishtowels and started to fan the smoke towards the opened window. When the smoke in the kitchen finally started to clear, Jin gave himself a second to look around. There was a cutting board with huge pieces of tomato, onion, and mushrooms on it. It was clear that whoever had cut them had no experience in the kitchen. When Jin looked into the pan to see what had caused the fire, he wasn’t surprised to see nothing in the pan. The oil had just been left unattended for too long causing the fire. Jin’s laugh started out normal then ended up hysterical. When three little heads peaked into the kitchen followed by Yoongi, Hoseok and then RM, Jin lost it and laughed so hard tears ran down his cheeks. 

“He tried….. the stove…. The smoke,” Jin tried his best to get the words out but the smudges on RM’s face and the look of surprise on their faces made it impossible to say anything. 

“Alright, make sure you guys clean this up,” Jin wiped tears from his cheeks and took a bowl from the dish rack. “I am going to make breakfast next door, and don’t let him near a stove again.” Jin pointed at RM then walked out of the apartment. 

“Wow. Jimin did you look at him?” Taehyung stood by the doorway peeking out. “He’s even more perfect than our Jin model.” 

“I mean we assumed that Namjoon-hyung had been attracted because of the resemblance, but I just couldn’t picture it,” Jimin stood by Taehyung’s elbow peering towards the door where Jin had disappeared. 

“Hey stop talking about me like I am not here,” Namjoon complained as he picked up bowls and started to set them in the sink.

“But hyung seriously, for someone who claimed that there was a non-aesthetic connection to someone, he’s pretty hot.” 

“I have to agree with Taehyung. From a purely, intellectual perspective. This is a place where design meets reality and reality wins,” Jimin added after Jungkook shot him a look. 

“But I thought you guys designed the Jin model,” Hoseok moved to the refrigerator and took out juice. 

“Not at all, we designed the rest. But Jin was Namjoon’s design,” Jungkook pulled his cellphone to show Yoongi and Hoseok a picture of a little Namjoon with glasses on his face holding up a drawing of a Jin Pocket Monster. 

“Isn’t he super cute,” Jimin added angling his head to look at the picture,” it has to be one of my favorite of his.” 

“Hyung are you blushing,” Taehyung pointed a finger at Namjoon’s cheek just to be swatted away. 

“Alright, alright, you guys heard Jin,” Yoongi interrupted, “Let’s hurry and clean up so we can have breakfast,” 

**  
Jin steeped his tea until you could hammer nails with it. He set the stack of pancakes in front of the three boys who had very politely introduced themselves: Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. Jin had a few hours before he needed to be on campus, and he fully intended to enjoy his breakfast despite the smudge on RM’s face and the fidgety looks Yoongi, and Hoseok were giving each other. 

Jin took the only empty seat which happened to be on the other end the furthest away from RM. Jin imagined that the boys, Yoongi, and Hoseok would conclude that his move was intentional, but he just didn’t care at this point. Jin just had three spots in his mind of things that deserved his attention and RM’s sudden appearance wasn’t one of them. Even if he did feel like his brain and heart would explode. Jin took a pancake and started eating. A few moments later, the boys started eating and conversation slowly filled the dining room. 

“We have a lot of autonomy, Hoseok-hyung. All three of us are able to continue our work without returning to our main base. It will take a few weeks to set everything up and find adequate office space, but it’s doable,” Jimin answered happily. 

“Can we get something with windows this time,” Taehyung asked as he took a mouthful of pancake. “Oh can we be like google and bring our dogs into work?”

“We don’t have any pets, Tae,” Jungkook served himself another pancake. 

“Exactly and why don’t we have pets? Because we work a ton and can’t take them to work,” Taehyung explained enthusiastically. 

Jimin looked like he was trying to figure out whether he was going to stop Taehyung from adoption all the dogs and cats in the neighboring shelters when a sudden gleam touched the corners of his eyes. “Ahh maybe we can discuss this after we get back from our trip?”

“Trip? What Trip Jimin?” 

“Our trip,” Jimin elbowed Taehyung, “back to headquarters so we can pick up…” 

“Our gear,” Jungkook filled in. 

“Exactly,” Jimin braced a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder then beamed at Yoongi and Hoseok. “Hyungs are you guys interested in coming along? Our main base is in New York it will be a nice pre-academic year trip.”

Yoongi’s eyes narrowed in speculation,” so you guys need to go to New York on a short trip to pick up gear…” 

The three boys nodded all with wide smiles on their lips. “Yes, Namjoon-hyung would come along, but he just got hired at the university and can’t just take off, right hyung?”

“Yes, Taehyung,” Namjoon answered without looking up. 

“Jin-hyung you start your graduate teaching orientation correct? I hope you don’t think we’re rude by not inviting you,” Jimin said with the sweetest smile in the world. 

“Not at all,” Jin’s lips twitched with the ghost of a smirk, “I have the department orientation and the background check to do.” 

“What was I thinking?” Hoseok clapped a hand on his forehead, “I am supposed to go to New York for an audition remember Yoongi? I told you about it.”

Hoseok untangled himself from his chair and gently started to nudge Yoongi and the three boys along. 

“But hyung, I want another pancake.”

“Sure,” Hoseok picked up a pancake just to fold it taco style and handed it to Taehyung. “We really have to get going. You three go pack and Yoongi get the keys so we can stop at my place and get my luggage.” 

The five of them were out the door in less than five minutes. Jin took the last sip of his tea and sighed, “They’re so smooth.” 

“Yes, there’s a picture of them under the definition of smooth,” Namjoon pushed his plate away.

Jin leaned forward, his eyes dark and sober, “so what was the master plan here RM? You just always seem to know what’s going on and I am always being strung along.” 

“Jin I didn’t know or agree with this plan, and it was never my intent to string you a long.”

“Of course it was-“

RM gripped Jin’s wrist holding him in place. “I don’t mean to be touchy when you’ve made it clear that you don’t want me to touch you,” Namjoon said simply, “But we do have things to talk about, I think our friends just want to give us some space to figure things out in.” Namjoon released him then rose to start cleaning up. “I am staying, Jin. I always hoped there’d be a day when I could make that choice. I choose you. I want to be with you.” Namjoon turned around to look at Jin as he said those last words. 

“Well isn’t that just handy,” Jin felt the heat of anger build inside of him even as his heart ached. “You want me and you just seem to think that you get to have me. I do appreciate the level of choice I am getting here. I mean I had no choice when you came into my life right and I had no choice in your return. You just come and go as you please and I just wait.”

“I think you’re misunderstanding,” Namjoon said quietly. “I am not going anywhere. I didn’t have that choice before now I do.” 

Jin turned the mug over in his hands. “That’s great RM, but I am just not interested.” Jin stood up and started to walk towards his room only to find himself being pressed against the wall by Namjoon’s body. 

“I promised myself I wouldn’t force you or push you to do anything. But please, listen to me,” Namjoon held Jin’s face in between his hands. “I have a thirst for you inside of me, and I know you feel the same way about me. I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up. I want to spend my mornings with you having breakfast and hopefully not burning anything down. I want to hear your laugh and the sounds that you make. I want to see you and be around you. This is home for me, you’re home for me,” Namjoon put his forehead on Jin’s and breathed him in. “I didn’t know what was going to happen. I couldn’t even let myself dream that I would be able to come back to you. I couldn’t fix me, Jin. I didn’t know how,” Jin stood mesmerized by RM’s eyes. “You know why I am back?”

Jin shook his head, “Taehyung was joking, but he said only your heart, only your love for me could have brought me back.” Jin let out a shaky breath. “Yell at me Jin, swing at me again, do what you need to do, take as much time as you need, but tell me if you can see yourself trying or wanting to work things out with me.”

Jin pushed Namjoon away and put some distance between them, “I need time to think things over.” 

“I understand,” Namjoon whispered as his spine stiffened,” take as much time as you need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.... this got a little more complex. I had a bunch of fluff written and Jin doesn't want to go smoothly he wants to be romanced. I blame it on Jin.


	11. Chapter 11

“Good morning!”

Jin adjusted the strap on his bag and turned to see Ken and Hyuk walk his way. Jin didn’t even try to smile he simply lifted a hand and waved hello. He grunted a greeting as he took a drink of his coffee. 

“Are you guys ready to learn some amazing class management skills?” Hyuk asked as he wiggled his eyebrows. 

Jin rolled his eyes and followed Hyuk and Ken into a small room where he and twenty of his colleagues would be getting a few hours of training before being set lose on a bunch of undergrads. Hyuk and Ken headed straight to the small sampling of breakfast items and dug in with gusto. Jin looked around the room trying to figure out where to sit. 

He needed to be strategic. 

He needed to find a spot that was close to the front, so he would stay awake, but not so close that the professors would notice he was sleepy AF. He could sit in the back. Jin took another drink as he looked to the back of the room. When he spotted the slackers in his program, he sighed deeply and spotted his salvation. 

There settled as perfectly as the sun in the sky with every single item from her bag spilled over the desk was Hanni. Jin chuckled slightly as a new student tried to sit next to Hanni only to get a glare so intense the student walked away. 

“Morning sunshine,” Jin said brightly and smiled as Hanni grunted but moved her stuff to make room for him. 

“Good morning,” Hanni said brightly as she picked up a venti cup of coffee from her desk and Jin would bet a month’s pay that it was at least her second. 

Hanni lifted the cup to her lips and whispered, “so this is fucken bullshit. Who in their right mind would think making graduate students be up at eight am to do training was a good idea? Or,” Hanni said after taking another deep drink of her coffee, “that five hours of training is going to save any of these people from a class who wants to riot.”

“Is that last concern from personal experience” Jin asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Only because I taught them how,” Hanni answered with a smirk. “Little jerks,” Hanni said but Jin could hear the pride in her voice. “Or my favorite,” Hanni tipped the mug of coffee back and frowned when it was empty. “That if you want authority grow a beard.” 

Jin laughed at Hanni’s eye roll. 

Hanni was the perfect image of hard working academic and sarcastic genius. Jin liked her very much. In the months that followed the disappearance of He Who Will Not Be Named, Hanni was the only one that treated him like he was a moping idiot, which he was. It honestly wasn’t until that moment that he realized she didn’t think he was a complete idiot. 

She had just sat next to him one day with her usually double cups of coffee. 

“We all get dumped and get our hearts broken at some point,” she had said calmly. “It happens,” she had added after Jin remained silent. Then she’d slid over the extra cup of coffee to him. 

“You don’t have to,” Jin answered without looking at Hanni or taking the cup of coffee. 

“I do,” she said turning to look at him. She looked completely irritated. “Trust me you look like shit,” she pushed the cup of coffee closer towards him. “This is my good deed for the year. I am in the clear to destroy lives and level cities after this.” 

While everyone else had avoided Jin like the plague, Hanni had kicked him, bullied him, and talked to him. She was glorious at worse and almost mystical at best. 

“Kick me if I fall asleep,” Hanni said as she stood up to greet a professor. 

** 

“Graduate pub crawl,” Hanni stood up and announced it after the professors had left the room and they had been excused. 

“I am down,” Hyuk said instantly. 

“Yeah I don’t-“

“You shut your mouth Kim Seokjin. I am not hearing any of it. We are getting fucked up tonight. It’s not optional.” 

When Jin sighed in defeat, Hanni started to pack up her things. “Hey,” Hanni pushed her dark silver ombre hair back and flashed her icy blue eyes at them. “Who did you guys get assigned to? I prayed to the graduate gods for Dr. I am tall handsome I got legs and hands for day Kim, but must have angered them because nothing.” 

“Holy water,” Hyuk suggested knowing Hanni’s way of thinking. 

“Might have to,” Hanni said with a sigh, “I got Dr. O.” 

“Oh, me too,” Hyuk said with a wince. “I know she’s awesome, but she works her TA’s to the ground, so I am not looking forward to that.” 

“You guys will be fine,” Ken said shaking his head. 

“Oh, I know it will be fine,” Hanni said as she led the way. “I look forward to spending a semester half-chub because of Dr. O’s sizzling greatness but Dr. Kim would have been real nice to look at.” 

“Do you have to do that?”

“What,” Hanni tilted her head and looked at Hyuk. “Dr. O is glorious, smart and attractive. I am not blind. Her rate my professor comments say so as well.” 

“Now it’s going to be on my mind when I talk to her,” Hyuk complained. 

“Bull,” Hanni said dismissingly, “it was going to be on your mind either way. Pervert,” she said to him with a smile. 

“So I think we should get going because that beer isn’t going to drink itself-“ Hanni turned to see Jin frozen in the hallway. “Hey what’s up?” 

“When did the email go out,” Jin asked gripping the strap of his bag tightly. 

“Hmm, this morning,” Hanni answered a puzzled look on her face. “They should have gone out earlier,” Hanni added interpreting Jin’s sudden change of mood to the multiple mishaps the department was always doing. “But as always it seems like the department forgets how to run itself every year. It’s one of the many mysteries of the world.” 

Hanni walked over to Jin, “are you ok? What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Jin took a step back and pulled his phone out of his picket. 

Hanni lifted an eyebrow but said nothing. Kim Seokjin was a beautiful but temperamental creature. “So where should we go get a drink? Or should we get some pizza first?”

As Jin hit refresh on his university email, the pounding inside of his head drowned his friends’ discussion of pizza. 

No, the universe couldn’t be against him this much could it? He had been avoiding RM for the entirety of the guy’s trip. Yoongi and Hoseok had betrayed him. They had abandoned him in his time of need. And to make matters worse, the three beautiful children he had just meet had taken RM’s side as well. 

Jin had plans of holding off a few more days, then continuing to ignore RM, but if he had to work for him it would make things even more difficult. It was funny really. Jin had spent the entirety of RM’s stay hiding him and doing his best to keep him out of his life. He supposed it only seemed fair that if he returned RM would be so intertwined in his life, Jin would have to completely abandon who he was to be free. 

 

Jin selected the email and scrolled down the list. There the 17th name down was his name and next to it was the course number 311. “What class is he,” the last word was filled with anger, “teaching?” 

“What?” 

“What class,” Jin demanded. 

“Jin,” Ken moved closer but Jin stepped back. 

When no one said anything, Ken stepped closer to his friends. “What course number is Dr. Kim teaching, Hanni?”

“I am not sure,” Hanni tilted her head but dove for her cell phone to look it up. “I think the intro course since no one wants to teach that ever.” 

“One seventeen A,” Hyuk answered unsure of what to do. Suddenly everyone looked so tense and stressed out.

“Fucken fantastic,” Jin shoved the cell back into his back. “I’ll see you guys at the first bar. Text me where you guys go,” without waiting for an answer Jin turned on his heel and walked down the hallway to Dr. Kim’s new office. 

Hyuk and Hanni turned to Ken. 

“Do we want to know,” Hanni asked. 

Ken shifted and gripped his bag. “Not really,” he said shaking his head. 

“But you know?” Hanni squared up and stood in front of Ken. 

“Not because, he told me. It was by accident so I don’t think I can say anything.

“Good,” Hanni smiled. “Then you keep your mouth shut. Why don’t we go get pizza and wait for him there? I can definitely be distracted from epic gossip between our favorite graduate student and the new hot teacher with pizza,” Hanni put her arm around Ken and led the way out of the building. 

**

Namjoon sat down on his chair and let out the sigh he had been holding in. Being full sized was harder than it seemed. 

RM had imperial proof. He was just starting his life in earnest, as Kim Namjoon, and it was already a full-blown disaster. Rm dropped his head on the desk and started to pound his forehead lightly against the edge. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. The main part of the plan was to first get Jin to talk to him and he couldn’t even get that to happen. 

Wait, RM raised his head. He technically had spoken to Jin but like a fool RM had promised to give him time. To be patient or not to be patient that was the question. At this point, RM felt like there wasn’t a single thing he could do right. But again how was he supposed to have gone about it? There was still so much he couldn’t explain. 

The light knock on the door had Namjoon pulling himself back from the edge of despair. 

“Come in,” Namjoon called out once he was sure any of the uncertainty was gone from his face. 

He looked perfect. 

There was no other way around it. Jin could hate him, but RM would always think he was the most perfect creature in the universe. 

“Hello Professor,” Jin said in a clear crisp voice. “I was wondering if you had a minute.” 

“Of course,” RM played along. “What can I help you with,” RM said once Jin took a seat. 

“I was wondering if you knew who was going to TA for you yet,” Jin was smiling. He seemed so pleasant RM’s heart skipped a bit. 

“No, I was jut here to do some work. I wasn’t aware the assignments went out.” 

Jin continued to smile. “The email went out this morning.” 

RM opened his email and scrolled down. On the seventeenth line was his course 311 and his TA. “I see,” RM said without emotion. 

“I see,” Jin said his pleasant tone breaking for the first time, “is that all you have to say?”

“I don’t decide the assignments. I didn’t ask for a TA either. My enrollment must have gone up,” RM opened his enrollment page and sure enough there where over seventy students. 

Jin sighed and set his bag down. He got up and closed the office door. 

“I don’t a shit about your enrollment,” Jin put his hands on his hips. “I won’t work with you. You can live next to me. You can invade my life and make it unbearable, but you wont ruin my career. I’ve worked hard for this and your game has gone on long enough.” 

Jin picked up his bag and was about to storm out when a hand closed the door before he could swing it open. 

“I didn’t do this Jin.” 

RM’s strong, deep, and slightly raspy voice sent a tinge down Jin’s back and he hated it. 

“I am not trying to ruin your life. But before you leave, I want to tell you everything.” 

Jin turned to face him. His eyes were kind. Even as a toy it had been his eyes that had drawn Jin in. 

“If you give me a chance, if we could talk I want to at least have a chance to explain the past,” RM stepped back giving Jin some space. 

Jin squared his shoulders and nodded. He couldn’t avoid this forever even if he was upset beyond belief. Jin put his things down and took a seat. RM sat across from him. 

“I can’t explain everything that happened, because I am not completely sure but there are somethings I know,” RM said leaning back in his chair. “One minute there was nothing then the next there was your face looking right at me through a glass display case. And my life-“

“Your life was all about me. I know,” Jin sighed. “Yoongi researched and investigated until he got a hold of your roommates. They told him what happened to the older pocket monsters and how you’d gone missing. He told me about the Jin you’d lost.” 

RM nodded and pressed his lips together. “I didn’t know why they were malfunctioning. We all worked to try to diagnose them, but everything failed. They just stopped moving and then became ‘inactive’. We used the word ‘inactive,’” RM said with a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. “But they understood the world around them, ‘inactive’ was the wrong word. They were dying.” 

“That must have been hard,” Jin said softly. He had never considered what that must have been like. What it must have been like to be surrounded by death and unable to do anything about it. 

“Pink Jin, he,” Namjoon reached for the water bottle that was on his desk and took a drink. “Pink Jin was the first to malfunction.” 

“I know,” Jin said with a nod. “He was the last to die as well.” 

“Yes,” Namjoon offered Jin the water. “It seems that Yoongi got some good information. Usually they are not so talkative.” 

“Yoongi is a social butterfly,” Jin said as he took a drink of the water. 

“Right,” Namjoon nodded. “I’ll explain Pink Jin then. Pink Jin refused to speak much after he returned. He was fully verbal and should have been able to tell us right away if there was anything wrong, but he wouldn’t. Looking back,” Namjoon shook his head slightly and a sad smile touched his lips. “I don’t think he had the vocabulary to describe what was happening to him. I don’t think he knew what was wrong. When he first arrived, I would ask basic diagnostic questions and he would simply nod or shake his head. But after a while he refused to answer at all. The night before he died we had already run the update, so I wasn’t fully verbal. I could still work and write things down but talking completely was outside of my ability. The guys were working on why the update had dulled my speaking, but it was then that he decided to speak.”

“He spoke to you.” 

RM nodded. “I tried to ask how he was feeling, but I wasn’t able to ask properly. I hooked him up to our gear to monitor him and tried to record him, but the signal kept on jamming. In the days after he died, I figured out he jammed the signal.” 

“He didn’t want his last moments to be recorded,” Jin understood perfectly. 

“Right,” RM nodded. “It makes sense to you, but it didn’t to me for a while. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t help me help. If he told me where in his software the problem was maybe we could fix it. If he told me where it hurt maybe we could make him better, but he wouldn’t. And when he finally spoke that night nothing he said made sense.”

RM shifted nervously. It was a habit Jin had noticed even when he was a toy. “He said he wanted to dream some more. He said he wanted to fly. He said he wanted to hold on.” 

RM rubbed a hand over his face. “I wrote down that he would be fine soon and not to worry. I tried to comfort him but-“ 

“He didn’t believe you, did he?” 

“I am actually not sure. He just smiled and continued to say strange things,” Namjoon continued his story. “He said he wanted to remain, but that he was too wounded, and it was his fate to struggle and fight. He said that he wanted to run to stretch his hand a bit more but that it was too late. That it was time to leave.” 

Namjoon leaned forward dropping his chin to his chest. “I disconnected him from the equipment and stayed by his side. But I was sad, I wanted to help him and couldn’t,” Namjoon laughed. “I couldn’t even comfort him. I wasn’t verbalizing at all and it’s funny that he comforted me. He said I didn’t have to be alone and full of despair. He said I could be happy and love myself.” 

“What did you do RM,” Jin sat up and leaned forward. 

“I didn’t understand him. How could he be close to death and imply that he was happy? It made no sense. He was a puzzle, but I thought if I could figure out what was wrong with him I could figure out what was wrong with the others. So,” Namjoon sighed, “I integrated him into my system.

“You couldn’t let him die,” Jin said softly his eyes shining. “What happened next?” 

“I started to malfunction,” RM smiled. “I had seen so many Pocket Monsters malfunction I knew it was happening to me. I started to have strange dreams. Dreams of being held. Dreams of someone speaking warmly to me. I felt something, but I wasn’t sure what it was.”

“You felt love that’s why you were malfunctioning,” Jin said clearly. 

“No,” RM said sadly. “But I had this lingering thought that perhaps I could be happy even if it was for a second. I don’t think I ever actively decided to leave. I remember staying up later and working harder to set up the new units. It was my choice to pull the old units. The guys all thought they could be saved but I refused to let them back on the market. So we launched a whole new set, but I held the hope that I could bring them back. But even as we worked,” RM stopped talking. 

Jin waited patiently watching as confusion and hurt crossed through RM’s face. 

“I could feel him lingering. Besides his hurt, what I remember the most was how confused he made me. I could feel disappointment but not regret. He felt broken but didn’t regret anything. He had chosen a dream he could never attain yet there was so much acceptance. I went back and reviewed all the data we had. I got it in my head that there had to be a Pink Jin out there that hadn’t malfunctioned. Something must have happened.” 

“So you came to find me,” Jin nodded. He felt like he understood a bit more. 

“No not consciously, and you have to believe this,” RM reached his hand out to Jin. “This wasn’t a game for me.” 

“And the rest is history right?”

RM nodded. “I was happy to be with you. I didn’t want more or expect more, I swear.” 

“I believe you, and I am glad we could talk about this. But, I am afraid it doesn’t change much at the end of the day,” Jin shifted and squared his shoulders. 

“You’re never going to forgive me are you?” 

“It’s not about that-“Jin got up from his chair and bent down to pick up his bag. 

“Don’t leave me Jin. Please talk to me.” 

“Fine,” Jin put his bag down and took his seat. “I think it’s only fair. I’ll explain because it seems like this won’t be over otherwise. But,” Jin looked directly at RM, “this is the last time. I can’t no,” Jin lifted a hand. “I won’t do this anymore.” 

Jin sighed and pulled his thoughts together. “I was happy with you. For the short time you were with me, you slowly became everything to me. Don’t think you were alone in these feelings, you were the source of my happiness and worry I’ll admit that. And I will accept that part of this was my fault. I really came to rely on you in a way I shouldn’t in a way that even if you had been real and human it would have been too much.” 

“Jin I-“

“Please let me finish, you want to know why I won’t give in and here it is. I was happy RM. I was happy with you. You were my companion. I hope you know that I am not as heartless as to believe that you didn’t have feelings for me or were invested. I know I was your life. I know I was your everything. But when you left, I felt like I was waking up from a moment of lunacy. How could I be so heartbroken over a toy? How could I have let myself be so shaped by that one experience? But when, I did wake up from that experience I was finally able to understand that you lied to me,” Jin’s eyes bore deep into RM’s. 

“When you left, everything inside of me crumbled. I couldn’t stand myself at all. Even my own breath seemed to be filled with bitterness, resentment and it was killing me. Yoongi was with me and he had to watch as I picked up the broken pieces of who I was. Every fiber of me ached for you and there was nothing I could do to change it.”

“Jin I never lied to you. I never meant for any of this to happen. I would never have made you unhappy,” RM’s voice trembled with emotion. 

“Your love was made out of smoke RM. It was never meant to last. All of the dreams I had or could have had burned and there is nothing left. So I can’t give in. I cried until I didn’t think I could anymore and even then. In the pits of my despair do you know what I did?”

RM shook his head. 

“I was happy with you and I wanted to keep that memory. I felt like I had to. So for you, I pretended like I was happy when I was sad. For you, I pretended I was strong when I was hurt. I wish our love could have been as perfect as love is supposed to be. I wish I wasn’t weak and I could hide that part of myself. But our love was a flower that was never meant to bloom, it was a dream that couldn’t ever come true. It was just fake love.” 

Jin stood up and looked down at RM. “I am sorry,” Jin bit his lip and walked towards the door. 

“Real love is compromise and work.” 

Jin froze with a hand on the doorknob. 

“Real love is a decision to keep on going and stay together every day.” 

Jin swallowed and tried to will himself to move. 

“But fake love is magic and limitless.” 

Jin pulled the door open and walked out before Namjoon could see the tears shinning in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back! sorry Fake Love killed me so much

**Author's Note:**

> I've always had a special spot in my heart for the Intro song: What am I to you in the Dark & Wild album. The line that RapMonster raps that he's your Pocket Monster has possessed me and so here it is.


End file.
